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My Sad Story

My wife cheated on me

Monday, March 21, 2016 2:30 AM by BonKilla Rating: +7|-7

 

I was working for a firm when I met my wife in August and she was working for the Ticketing corporate department. We soon became colleagues as she was transferred to my department in November for U.S Military Travel and we started having conversations which soon turned out to be love for one another. By December we were already dating when she insisted on coming to my house in Salmiya where I stayed alone in a studio apartment, and when she did we happen to make love which made our feeling for each other stronger. This in time continued and we used to meet at a friend’s house where we always used to make love and shared our feelings. Her younger brother was a good friend of mine and used to work for the same organization. He soon learned of our relationship and had his parents informed on it. As soon as this was learned, my elder brother, has requested her parent’s to have a meeting together where he could request her parents to get us married. At the time of meet, her parents declined as they said I was short in height for her. They then asked her if she was in love with me and she replied NO, I wasn’t and was troubling her with it.  It all ended for me that day. But the following day she called me and said she denied because if she yes, her parents would have send her off to her house in Asia. She said she wanted to get married to me and informed me that she was pregnant. I was happy as I was to be a father. Soon her parents had seen her a boy as arranged marriage who also used to work for the same organization as arranged marriage. Both the parents of the boy and parents of my wife had an understanding for the engagement as well as the wedding planned for the future.  My wife called me and informed me of this where a mutual decision was taken between us that we would marry each other in the Court.  We had the affidavits done through the Embassy for the procedure of the lawful marriage. But the Govt. did not approve of this as they wanted her parents to be present when this took place as she was 21 years of age. The Lawful Marriage did not happen and was not going to happen because of this reason. We did not want to do an Embassy Marriage as they would put our photos in the notice board which stayed for a month and would be a red flag to both of us if her parents found out.  Then she requested that she does not want to go back to her house and she wants to come and stay with me from now on. In Feb 2009, she did not go back home and after completing her night shift decided to come and stay with me in my house.  She informed her parents the same night that we were married and she is here with me and I told her that they would make problems as we were not even married as she lied to them saying that we are. She said her parents would not do a police complain as even she is involved and they wouldn’t want to put her through any trouble. Later her parents came to know of her being pregnant by May 2009. Soon they accepted and told both of us to get married which we did on 20th Aug 2009 and later also got the civil marriage done. All in all we had been together for less than a year when this marriage took place. I did not know her family nor did I check her background and I did not even care as I was in love with her whereas she knew where I came from and also I had taken her to see my parents where we stayed for a month of vacation.

 

 

After our marriage on 20th August 2009, her father called me out on the wedding and told me “Rascal you take care”.  I ignored him for the time being never to know what the future had in store for me. Things were going smooth until her father physically abused me after six months of marriage time. I soon came to know that her parents were the type of people that wanted her to end this relation. Soon after that I had a big secret revealed to me by by wife, stating that she was in a live in relation with one of her brothers’ friend during her college and she was pregnant twice and her parents had found out this and had helped her abort the child. She was with a live in relation with him for about 3 years as per told to me by my wife. That was the time where she first had me cheated by not telling me the truth and by not being faithful. I had lost my trust in her. But I had given her a chance since she was 06 months pregnant. She had left home at the time when this had happened and had stayed a couple of days with her parents.  Finally there was a meeting with the families where I decided to forgive her and moved on in our lives.

 

 

 

After 4 months of our marriage, my daughter was born on 05th Dec 2009 and we were very happy. But right after that there was a lot of interference by her parents in our lives which I did not accept. It was almost every day they were in my house. My brother and Sister in Law Savita even informed them to give us some space, but in vain. Her father was jobless and I later came to know that he used to run a mess in his house. He had converted his 2bedroom apartment to a 4bedroom apartment where they used to stay in 1 room out of the 4 and the other 3 were given on rent to bachelors. At that time what I had seen was horrific as many more than 15 people staying there including them. I was quick to understand what type of lifestyle and decency they were following and later by the way they spoke and thought, I was disappointed to know that these people will never accept me no matter how hard I tried.

 

 

 

On 25th October 2010, my son was born. We were very happy. My family also had joined us for the christening celebration. At this time a verbal argument took place between me and her younger brother when he was not allowing me to carry my daughter for a photo shoot and verbally abused me in front of everyone. My family immediately reacted as to how these people can behave this way in the public celebration. Meantime, we told them to stop visiting our house and give us some space but in vain. When my live in nanny had decided to leave she told me that in your absence the in laws were coming home and she was informed not to tell me anything as told to her by my wife and her parents or she would have been fired. Again she cheated me and broke my trust.  My marriage was going nowhere. I was shattered that her thinking and her family’s was so low. She would not sit on a table and talk out and sort out the problems but would just want to avoid it by other means like lying & cheating. In time I was unable to get a maid and decided to have sent the children to my parents but she disagreed. But I had to do it since there was no other alternative with the working hours we worked back then. They were schooling at this time and baby-sitting cost was something we could not afford.  After 2 months I got the children back as I was able to get a live in nanny.

 

 

 

By Feb 2015, our financial situation was very bad. We now had 3 kids plus a live in nanny and it was very difficult to manage. My wife proposed that we send the children to my parents in Asia, and to let the children school there. My son was in UKG & daughter was in 1st Std. I thought hard on it, there were tears in my eyes but we had to so we may give them a better future as we had decided to move to UK as my wife had got her European passport. We were then trying to get the children’s passports ready by having our marriage certificate attested. I now know why she didn’t want the kids here along with us. She immediately removed the live in maid and I used to be at work most of the times and she used to have a gala time with her affair as there was no one to stop her anymore. Six months after sending the kids to Mumbai, my mother’s health went bad and I had brought my children back and immediately enrolled them in the school and life went on.

 

 

 

Before my parents coming to see me for my sons christening, I had requested her not to smoke in front of my mother and to behave in the way she always spoke arrogantly and rude. But she exactly did what I asked her not to, which again led to a lot of confusions. She used to be very possessive about me before joining her current firm in May 2013 but her possessiveness decreased as if she didn’t really care. She would always catch my arm and walk around but even that tend to disappear. It was started to feel that she wanted out but she couldn’t because of the kids. She was trying to go as far as possible without saying a word and keeping her life a secret which only she knew.

 

 

 

Like how a wife would share her feelings, sorrows or happiness, she was never the type. We connected well in the early stages because of our sexual relationship. From the day one that she came to my studio apartment, she wanted to sleep with me and she did. I was in love with her. I had found my match who wanted to be with me and loved me much. We took off well from there but after May 2013 things went different after she joined her current firm. She always told me that she doesn’t love me during any given fight but I never thought she was serious. Every Fridays on our day off, she would end up fighting with me for silly reasons and would spoil the day off.  It’s like she never wanted to get along after finding this person, her colleague that she had a secret within hidden. It’s like she never wanted to spend a day off with me as her mind, body & soul already belonged to her affair. She was never great with the kids. The kids always wanted a more part of me than her since I was closer to them and used to spend a whole lot of time with them. I used to get up in the morning by 05:30am and give a shower to my daughter (6yrs) and Son (5yrs) and get them started for their day of school. By the time it is 06am, My wife gets the Third Child (1.3yrs) ready. By 06:15am, I leave home and drop third child to his baby-sitting and then move on to work. The children’s school transport comes at 07am. And if the children state that the man used to come and if they have seen him several times which means he was coming in right after I left and before the children leaving to school. She never wanted to spend time with me because she was happier spending time with her affair. I wish she would have spoken to me once and opened up about all this rather than me finding the way I did. We would have ended things in a much smoother way than the way things happened. After what I have seen in my house on 21st Jan 2016, it has been haunting me. I have been having nightmares on a daily basis. I cannot sleep peacefully. This has disturbed me, but when looking at her she is pretty cool and calm as if nothing has happened. For all I know she is happy that this has happened so now even she can move on in life and marry the person that she’s in love with.

 

 

 

In the early stages of marriage the sexual relationship was very healthy. Before she joining her current firm in May 2013 our relationship was full of love and she was mine and in love with me. Things changed after she joined her current firm. I even asked her several times since I had a feeling of her ignorance toward me, it felt as if something was missing or if she was in love with someone else or probably she was having an affair.  She was less interested, always when asked for sex she used to refuse she had a back pain or stomach pain and used to ignore. Even when I returned from my vacation in Jan 2014, a month after I not seeing her she was not interested in making out and we didn’t have sex. When I insisted the next day, it was more of her just giving in but not feeling the love. I felt as if it was over as after the sex was finished she would always end up fighting with me and would get very irritated as if she never wanted to make love to me.  Lately it was even more obvious when she used to decline of us having sex that frequently. From us having sex from 05 days in a week to about hardly 01 day in a week. She was spending the whole time with him and was engrossed in sexual activities with her boyfriend from the affair. I gave her everything she needed, let it be on the bed physically, materials, love. But I guess she was never into me after finding this person from work that she so got intimidated with.

 

 

 

I worked far from home from 07am to 03pm. I get up at 05:30am and give shower to Daughetr and son and leave them to school. By 06:15am I leave home and drop third child to his babysitting then to work. On Thursday Jan 21st 2016 my daughter had a dance in the school at 04pm, my wife took an off from her work. At 1130am I had a very bad pain in my gums which led to my lips getting swollen which happened for the first time in my life. Looking at my condition my manager told me to go home and relax. That pain has not returned till date. I reached home unannounced for the first time since I couldn’t speak because of the pain. To my surprise I found another man in my apartment. I have never known this man before in my life but have seen him a couple of times in my wife’s office as he is seated next to her about year ago. I immediately took control of the situation and had them seated down. The guy was trying to escape but I managed to stop him and had taken his id card taken so he may no longer escape. Immediately I started questioning my wife as to how in my absence is another man whom I don’t know present in my house. I then even asked her since she was in extreme short shorts as to how you can be in such clothes in front of another man. Their excuse was that he had come home to plan some business deals. When checking my wife's phone it was clean, no evidence was found; even the iphone icloud backup had been set to off. She was very smart and cunning. But when I checked the boy phone he and my wife had been having a conversation from a very very long time where my wife has been telling him “I Love U, I Miss u, I need U, I cannot live without you, my husband is not at home, so come fast”. There was a vast conversation when I happened to find further details I found that this affair has been happening from the time she joined her current firm. This relation has been going on approx since August 2013.

 

 

 

Ours was a love marriage and I never in my worst nightmare would have thought that she would have cheated and betrayed me and been so unfaithful. Further investigation led me to knowing from more than one of her colleagues & her manager that  (my third son) did not look like me and more like her affair. This had me thinking and I started looking for hints and finally found out that I was on a vacation from 15th Dec 2013 till 19th Jan 2014. Another thing that I realized was my wife was trying to hide this pregnancy from me as one day when I happen to go to the bathroom for an emergency, I found out she was pregnant with the third child. When I asked her how pregnant she was, she replied that she was 05 months pregnant. I asked her why she hid it from me. She said she was scared. She delivered on 20th October 2014. When later checking with doctors their answer was that this baby’s possibility has started between 05th Jan till 15th Jan when I was not even present.  Scientifically her blood is B+ and I am AB+. We will get children as A, B, AB. But it is an impossible factor to have our child as O. Our children daughter (B+), Son (AB+) but then Third Child is (O+). When having the photos of affair & third child compared more than 10 people confirmed that they looked more than 80% alike as in same features.

 

 

 

Soon I called my elder brother and my Sister in Law Savita and informed them about the situation in my apartment. I called my parents as well, and shared with them the ordeal. Meanwhile, when questioning my children who were present in the house at that time, said “Dada, this man comes home every day after you leave to work. He and mama sleep on the bed together. He and Mama smoke in the house; He has even come to previous houses”.  This relationship of a husband and wife had hit a dead end. When my brother & sister in law came home they were in a shock! My sister in law even asked her why she needed to do something like this. She even told her didn’t you think about your kids when doing all this. It was all written on my wife's face what had she been doing. The guilt was finally out and the dirty little secret was reveled.

 

 

 

We decided to call the Police. Once the Police arrived they started interrogating Her affair at home asking him what he was doing in the house. If it was business the Police said why it wasn’t done in the café or garden. Why it was done in the husband’s absence who does not even know about this meeting or this person who has entered his house. Once the Officer seen the affairs phone & read the messages, he had enough evidence and took both of them in his car and took them away to the Police station. There they had the police complain registered and they were sent to the Family court. We had followed the officers. Once in the family court we found out that they could be imprisoned for up to 3 years or minimum be deported. Once we heard that my mother requested me to take the case back not for her sake but for the sake of the children who needed her. Besides my mother said we are not the ones to punish. I decided not to tell the family court exactly in details. Finally I took back the case. I informed my wife's mother of what had happened and she was reasoning with me as to why I called the cops. Finally to have her bailed, her younger brother came with a friend of his and had come for her release as we couldn’t since the bail has to be done by a citizen. At the time of bail they were called on Sunday to the family court to have the matter finished & closed. I handed over the children to her on 22nd Jan 2016 and had her take all her clothes and pack her bag & leave from my house. Her affair had forgotten his Goggles at home. I sarcastically told her to take her boyfriend’s goggles; she took it and kept it safe along with her clothes in front of her mother. How shameless can one be? I also told her that I needed to see the kids every Friday and take them home with me. At that time she accepted but when the time came she never showed up & neither did the kids. I seen them last on graduation day on 03rd Feb 2016 and hugged them and not seen them after that. When I asked her why she didn’t come to the spot to drop the kids... She replied she will not let me see my kids & to do whatever I could. I haven’t seen them till date. The funny thing is Jesus tried helping me many times but I trusted her blindly. Even when the third child was in her womb she didn’t tell me she was pregnant. Once in an emergency I wanted to use the bathroom in June 2014 and she was present inside, I seen her stomach & asked her if she was pregnant, she replied yes she was 5 months pregnant, when I asked her why she didn’t tell me about this, she replied she was scared ! My instincts told me not to trust her but then it was my mistake I shouldn’t have since she behaved so funny.

 

 

 

In October 2015, she told me that she in emergency had to go to Asia. I asked her what was the emergency she replied it was regarding her friend and she was in serious condition & admitted in ICU in a hospital. She requested me to have her flight tickets booked & since at that time my parents were not present, she requested that she also would need a hotel to check in. I had my brother issue the hotel voucher & she also requested me to provide her some Asia currency which I exchanged. During Holidays she travelled for 05 days and on the second day she requested me to send her another big sum of money. I declined stating that the money provided was far more than enough for 05 days. Why would you need more! The argument continued for half a day when I refused to send her the money through Western Union. Alas she told me that she was pregnant once again & was about 06months plus pregnant and had come to Asia for an abortion. I was finally pushed by her to have the money send. And I did. Once she was back, I had told her parents what she had just done but they were very cold and very calm & realizing later, it was obvious that even this child did not belong to me for the way she hid it from me & had an abortion without my knowledge.

 

 

 

In November 2015 when we went to Asia for her elder brother's wedding, her father again abused me for which I stayed calm & quite I had my kids & wife's bags packed and left for home. Soon enough I see on her phone that her father has messaged her to leave me dying on the road and to live her life independently with her kids and have a fake harassment case put for me in the police station. I even ended up finding out that her affair was jobless and my wife was even helping him financially. Soon on 21st Jan 2016, once I caught both of them together in my house, things fell apart & this relationship of husband & wife was over after what Jesus had shown me. I even found out details about her affair only to find out that the guy was a criminal & already has a Travel Ban on his name regarding 3 financial cases. How could she even think of getting somebody like this at home with the children around and moreover having an affair with him?

 

 

 

I have had so many instances where I have found out that she has been lying to me, breaking my trust in all means possible but still I believed in her and kept forgiving her. There was not a day when I did not love her. But she never valued my love that’s how she ended up in an affair not thinking about the kids, about me or about our future. How selfish can one be? The day I caught them after reading the messages of what my wife had send to her affairs phone, it turns out that she was madly in love with him. She never thought of me for once! Once caught, she had no regrets, she did not cry, she had no guilt. She was shameless and bold when all of this happened, since now she was caught & did not need to hide anything since the TRUTH is out.

 

 

 

In Dec 2012, I was at work in the military base & my shift timings were from morning 08am to 10pm and it was my wife’s day off. I tried calling her several times in the day but her mobile was coming switched off and her parents were not receiving my calls. I finally ended up calling her younger brother & asked him to go to my place and check if she and the kids are all right. He replies “once you reach home you will know”. After finishing my shift I reach home only to find out that she has packed her bags and left with the kids. When I asked her she said she has had enough of me and wanted to separate. I did everything at that time to get back my family together and she was back after a span of 3 months. A couple of months later, I realized that there was a Travel Ban on my name since I had missed Court Hearings only to find out that she & her father had hired a lawyer and also put a false case against me. I was upset with her but forgave her and moved on for the future of my kids.

 

 

 

No efforts have been made after what has happened with me & my family. We are mentally devastated after finding out what she has being doing. Neither has my wife nor has any of her family members tried contacting us and neither are they receiving my calls. They are not even letting me see or meet my own children. My father had called her father, asking if she was ready to give me a mutual divorce in the court, his replies were as such “We need compensation & child support, once that is given we will give the divorce”. My father replied all right I will personally come and get the DNA for the 3 children done and if any one of the child does not happen to be my son’s than I will put a case against your daughter”. My wife's father immediately replied that they are ready for Divorce in the court and none of the steps be taken as told by my father”. To conclude, a case of adultery, infidelity, cheating, the sacrament of marriage broken, vows meant nothing to my wife which we promised in the church. I and my family have already approached the lawyer for the divorce, DNA request has already been put forward in the court. For me, there is no going back to the women who I once called my wife and gave her my heart & soul.

 

Tags: Dating; Daughter; Divorce; Friend; Hotel; Kids; Pregnancy;

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