"My True Story?... Once I Was Blinded By Love"......
Well, how does one, start a story like this out.... "I.... once.... experienced".....
"Once I was happily married, at one time (3rd girl friend), then she cheated and had an affair, I then said to her, "I can't forgive you, I want a divorce, I'm done with this marriage", so I filed and divorced her with no regrets".
"Once I remain single, never dated or kissed any female (stating), "can you believe for 4 years", then I met another".
"Once I got to know a new person (4th girl friend), she was beautiful, sweet, kind and athletic, my feelings made me start caring, I was shocked and said, "I'm in love again.... yes"!
"Once I had no choice, she showed up in front of my door with her bags in hand, I said to her, "What happened? Why did you leave your parent's house, are they mad? Did you get into an argument with them?" She was angry with her family, and had nowhere else to go. So I welcomed her into my home".
"Once I agreed not to disrespect your wishes, agreeing not to go over to your parent's house, to introduce myself and to let them know that their daughter is living with me (stating to them), "I'm in love with your daughter, and she will always be well taken care of, as long as were together". But I did end up helping her, and eventually talked her into, repairing (her family's), relationship once again. They're on speaking terms till this day".
"Once I was invited to your family gathering, our first holiday together as a couple, after a phone call from your sister to you, I then said, "wow, how quickly.... we are now, uninvited.... dam, why"? SMH (shaking my head)".
"Once I had to stand their, comfort you.... hold.. you.... and then, as I watched you lying in our bed, I then said, "please don't cry, it's okay", you ended up crying for hours, because your family wouldn't accept me, and the relationship we had together".
"Once I shared some fun memories, like sports events, picnics, camping, and other outside activities that we spend together (thinking out loud), "God I love being with our friends. I like spending time with them, their fun to be around", those fun moments that, you were once a part of, I miss those times.... "dam".
"Once I had the privilege to be a part of, a sex video of us together (saying out loud), "that was one awesome experience.... again.... again.... thank you for being a part of my video", and you let me keep it as a present (so excited), dam.... that video is really good".
"Once I had to go with you to a clinic, because you made a choice to aboard our first pregnancy we had together. I said to you, "this decision you are making is very immature, and hurtful.... please.... think about this.... Are you sure this is what you want to do"?.... That whole experience has always haunted me with guilt till this day".
"Once I had to work very hard, in building a new company, which I made for our future, to live comfortable. I said, "Do you want to buy a new home, and a new car as well? Can we then go to Las Vegas, afterwards"? We always traveled together, everywhere, all over the country but I also, was hoping we got married and to start, one day working on making a family (our children), together".
"Once I had no choice, but to help out some close friends, by letting them borrow money, letting them stay at our home, and always making sure their family had food on the table, you said, "hello.... are you blind?.... Can't you see that they are taking advantage of you? You need to learn and start saying no to everyone, please stop".
"Once I had to defend you, when it came to my family interfering and belittling you, my family said, "why do you always stick up for her? she's going to end up leaving you". I always stood by your side, because you were always very kind (to my family), and never mean to them".
"Once I had to accept, that I would never be welcomed within your family, sadly I had to sit at home during holidays, during birthdays, or any special gatherings you shared with them, I said, "Do you think you can bring me back a plate a food.... thanks, and what time do you think you'll be getting home because I'll wait up for you, is that okay? Please be careful and have fun with your family". I always wanted you to keep that relationship, that special bond you had together with them, that I only wish I had, as well. But I always wanted you to be so happy, right"!
"Once I had a strange feeling, that you could be cheating on me, I asked you, "Are you cheating on me, please tell me the truth". You said, "No, I'm not, I promise you, I'm not". So you always reassured me, that you would never do that, but I could never prove that otherwise".
"Once I had to make a very, very hard decision, to completely cut off sex with you, this realy upsetted you and made you a very mean person, but until you fest up, I wanted you to be straight up front, no bullshiting with me anymore. I said to you, "please, tell me the truth, your having an affair (your cheating on me), am I right? Please.... stop denying it.... Why are you being so dishonest.... your lying...."? This made me have trust issues with you and made me become a jealous person".
"Once I had to watch you get upset (so pissed off), your anger got the best of you that day, that's for sure! I accuse you of cheating on me, with no proof whatsoever. I know that was wrong of me. You said, "why do you keep accusing me, of cheating on you"? I then said, "because, you didn't answer your phone for hours, and you always answer your phone, right? So then, tell me this, why all of a sudden your phone is off, and all this time, where were you anyways, really, come on? Just be honest with me for once". Then I stood there and watched you, punch several holes into my walls (you were upset and angry), so you broke 2 of my windows as well, then the neighbors called the police, because of all the screaming made by you. The crazy thing is that when 5 police cars showed up at our residence, all guns were drawn at me, I said to you, "Why all of the sudden, your so quiet now? You better say something to them (the police), because I'm not the bad guy here". After explaining the situation to the officers, on what just happened, they completely ignored and avoided, the fact that I wanted to press charges (they accuse the wrong person, at first... me!), and now because of all the damage that was done by you, how quickly they seem to want to leave. The funny thing (thinking out loud), "Who has a restraining order on who, now? wow.... thanks.... a lot". But yes, I again forgave you again".
"Once I had to watch you, take this random phone call (a.m. hours), in the middle of the night, well.... to be honest.... I was disbelief.... shocked.... because that has never happen in our years together. Then I said, "Aren't you going to answer the phone? Hey, It might be your family calling, and in fact, it might also be very important, or, even, a family emergency? I think you should answer the phone". Oh how I was so blinded! At first you hesitated, then I felt embarrassed, I felt so betrayed, as I sat there (smh - shaking my head), and had to listen to a "full 5 minutes" conversation you had with someone. I was so confident, that it wasn't your "so - call" male friend, yeah right? I never really found out, who was on the other end of that phone call that night, nor the fact, that you really wanted me to know the truth, so you lied! but I did notice one thing, you had this confused, afraid, and shocked (why is that?), look on your face, but I forgave you still. Can't believe I was so blind"!
"Once I had to pretend, that I was happy with our relationship, but I kept saying to myself, "I do love her still, no matter how she treats me, during these ruff hard times". Hoping she doesn't give up on me, but sadly my insecurities and self-esteem was slowly, fading away, then realizing I was losing her love and trust. I tried so hard to keep us together, but I knew she wanted to leave".
"Once I remember while making love, during a time when we had a weekend off to ourselfs, all of a sudden during the middle of making love, you started crying for no reason. I asked, "what's wrong, are you ok, did I do something wrong"? and you said, "No.... but I feel ashamed" and I said, "why"? and you said, "forget about it". Then you stopped crying. I have to admit, I wasn't thinking back then. But, now I know.. why."
"Once I had to watch my company file bankruptcy, watch our home being taken, watch my employees steal from me, listen to you belittling me at times, not supporting my decisions, you said, "you need to snap out of your depression, it's driving me crazy", so I finally realize, it was hitting me hard. The fact that you weren't very supportive whatsoever, damaged me".
"Once I had to watch you, walk out the front door, during our last, big argument, never looking back towards me with any love or remorse, never wanted to fight for the love we once had, never to see you again, was text a message (saying), "please don't try to come look for me, I can't face you". I felt so abandoned, betrayed, depressed, confused and all alone".
"Once I had to watch you get picked up by this huge black limousine. You said, "it's for work purposes, and they drive us to LAX", and I believed you. But little did I know, it was from some rich dude (you had on the side), you kept. He had you picked up so you can go visit him, for the weekend. I said, "Oh.... man.. How stupid I was"!
"Once I realize that I became a weak man, why? I had placed you on this high pedestal of mine, you knew this and took advantage of it. I think it helped and encouraged you, it gave you another reason, among many that you wanted to leave me. In fact, you thought and said, "dam, I don't know how much longer I can fool him, i'm fucking up royally", then at one point or another, me finding out worried you. You were scared that I would find out, about all the men you were cheating with.... it scared you. Disappointing me scared you so much, you took the cowardly way out, before I found out any bad news. That was your chance to run, and that way, you thought you'll remain on my pedestal even after you were gone, but you didn't, how quickly you were knocked and throne off. I said, "I can't believe her"!
"Once I had to accept the fact, that our first year separated, I turned into this "Incredible Hulk Figure" (in a mental-wise stage), someone I never knew I could be, a very mean, vindictive person, always looking for answers that you never gave me (during our break up), me always accusing you of cheating (with no proof at all), then leaving me, wondering if you did leave me for another man. I said, "Did you leave me for another man"? I was confused again, I finally realized, depression, hit me hard, and I hit rock bottom, to it's lowest level".
"Once I had to accept, that I finally saw the real you, that you were one very sneaky, hurtful, immature, coward individual, that never really loved me, you thought and said, "It's all about money and security, if you want me to stay". that was all you care about.... how sad... Why would somebody say that, to a love one"?
"Once I tried to kill myself, well to be very honest, I said "not only once, but twice, and horribly, embarrassing to admit, I failed both times". I know those crazy, bad, dark days, but finally realizing then, that God didn't want me, didn't need me to end my life back then. Thank God"!
"Once I had to leave the state, just to get away from all my friends, all my family, just need a whole new environment. I said, "truthfully, this also includes getting away from you (sad to admit), away from you too". This help me to regroup myself as an individual, all my thoughts, my feelings, my self-esteem, and help me with new morals. It helped big time"!
"Once I received a phone call, about all the random people you slept with during our years together, some were close friends, affairs you had with married men, even a neighbor down the street, I was shocked! And also, during our last 3 years of our relationship together, you had a full-blown affair with another married man, wow! I said, "and to top it off, you got pregnant"! And all this, during our last months living together. I felt so betrayed, depressed, sad, but my new friends were there for me. They always listen to me, they held me close, with open arms, they let me cry at times, and also, they helped me find and reassure my self-esteem once again! Thank you guys, I hope I can repay the favor, to all of you one day"!
"Once I had to confront, two very close friends, that I once had, that was part of my old life back then. I have to admit, that was very hard to do, but can you believe, two close friends of mine, that you were sleeping with... (sad face)... sleeping with during the time.... the time we were together. You doing this, behind my back, and I never knew or found out about it back then, but I finally had to confront them. I said to both of them, "if you don't tell me the truth, you give me no choice but to tell your families". So they finally opened up! I promise them that I would never, never (Broken Hearted), never tell their families about them cheating with you, period. As of today, I've kept my word".
"Once I had to accept, that we were both lost souls, that we needed help. Then eventually, heard a rumor, that you caught an STD, but never believe that was true. I said to myself, "I have to admit, that so call rumor, devastated me in a hard way, I cried for days. I knew i didn't love you anymore, but I did still cared about your (well being), and health". Plus, felt regrets, but never wanted you to suffer in anyway".
"Once I realised that Karma... that... Karma... finally showed up, and hit us both, hit... us... both.... right smack... at... our... faces... Again, listen.... sad..... to say, but I'm telling you, saying this out loud! "THAT KARMA.... KARMA HIT BOTH.... BOTH... OF.... us.... RIGHT BACK, RIGHT.... BACK.... AT OUR FACES"! Karma really sucks big time".
"Once I realized that you were the best, and worst, relationship I ever had, which in fact.... couldn't believe, I was once a part of.... once, a part of.... how sad! And for 10 years, dam.... for 10 years being together, with eachother! Wow, I was so blinded by you, sad to say. (Shaking My Head) This I can truely say, "thank you"... why? "For finally opening my eyes". I will always have those small regrets, and I will cherish our good memories, all the things we once shared and loved together. This I promise you, till the day, I'm no longer on this earth".
"Once again, I was single but was very happy and content with my final outcome, then said, "I'm so happy and thankful to God, because of all the new changes that he (God), made and placed in my life". Always thanking God for all these new friends he's introduced to me, and of course reconnecting me back to my family, back home. and said again, "Thank you God for giving me a new life to embrace".
"Once I live with the fact...
that you wrote a tell-all book.... about all your affairs you had..... and how proud..... I said, "Wow, your so proud that you got away with it? I hope your happy now"! You thinking, I would never find out about it. To me, that's the biggest betrayal someone can ever do, behind someone's back, to a significant other. Again I said, "Thank you..... thank you..... for breaking my heart once again".
"It's now going on over 3 years. Still never been with anybody since the breakup. To be completely honest, saying, "I'm still healing from the huge ripple we once made, and cause together. How childish of us, to be so hurtful, so mean to eachother, and to make all those bad, foolish decisions that we can't take back". I've learn that taking it step by step helps, accepting and learning new things, and new people that are apart of, this new life of mine. That, it's not always a bad thing, but it also helps me, helps me share some of my past experiences with friends that are going through problems, the same way I did.
Now the side note, the side note from all this mess, saying, "this mess we once cause"....
There is a lesson we must all learn. A very hard lesson, so listen, listen everyone, being broken hearted is sad to go through, and of course, to experience. Especially, during a ruff and hard, sad time, this during ones life. So that being said, I'm saying this to all of you....
"Please, please always promised yourself, to be supportive, helpful, and never hesitate for one moment. That if ever, at one time, one of your friends is experiencing, and going through a hard, hurtful, scarey, sad and heartbreaking, breakup during a time of their life. Remember, the last thing they want to hear from us, or get any advise from others, is the fact that we are judging them, Don't judge them, the out come by judging them can turn for the worst, can be terrible, even psychotic in a way, that can make them end their own life".
SO DON'T BE SO NAIVE, AND BLINDED BY ONE'S LOVE.... RELATIONSHIPS TAKE TIME.... RELATIONSHIPS TAKE A LOT OF INVESTMENTS WITH ONE ANOTHER.... AND PLUS, WE HAVE TO MAKE THESE GOOD CHOICES BETWEEN OURSELVES ..... THESE CHOICES MUST BE MADE BY BOTH PARTNERS, PERIOD, OKAY. THAT BEING SAID!!
Once again saying,
"Breakups are horrible, destructive, can be bad, and will eat your soul health-wise, but can also be a very good lesson to learn, so embrace them with no regrets. Always give each other some kind of closure, so all those doors can easily be closed, and never be reopened again, if needed. I think that the number one lesson in this, is the fact, that we all need to learn from our past relationships with others. Do not, I repeat do not be so blinded in the future. ALWAYS LOVE GOD FIRST, AND THEN LOVE YOURSELF, BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS".
So, thank you again to my significant other. Thank you, again, for being a part of my life. To me, she was once part of this life mine (thank God), not anymore, and is now part of my past. I had no choice but to learn.... to learn from her. She taught me a lot, a lot from this whole relationship experience, this experience I once had with her. this experience, and now had to learn. To learn, to never, be so blinded again, during ones relationship together with a love one. Thank you again, why? because I finally realized, that she is gone from my life, gone for good, gone from this day forward. So that being said....
"Thank you again, thank you for being the best, worst relationship, that was part of my life. A lesson, I will never forget.... a lesson, I will.....never..... forget..... but will share with others when needed to"!