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My wifes emotional affair turned sexual

My wife cheated on me

Monday, April 4, 2016 5:54 PM by Guest Rating: +3|-4

It all started before we were even married my wife and her baby's father constantly went back and forth over relationship issues and he seemed to you my step-daughter who was one back then as a crutch or an Avenue to get Within my wife's inner thoughts and feelings looking back I honestly never felt that she loved me but there was and excitement for the chance to and take down a woman who had barriers and walls built around her heart.  There were times when she would be gone for hours to drop my step daughter off when she returned She always told me that her baby's father will take her car keys hold her hostage and constantly accused her of being a w**** and someone who ruin their relationship.  I begin to create an excuse in my mind that since they had a child together and I had no kids I did not understand the relationship order her need to constantly explain herself and prove herself differently than his views.  He and I begin to get into a lot of verbal conflicts he felt I was ruining his relationship and family I felt that she was already a year removed from the relationship with him so this is now my girlfriend and I was not going to let her go without a fight.  He and I fall 4 years verbally physically and eventually the courtroom and once the courtroom no longer fit into his slanderous reviews of me he started to involve CPS.  I threatened to leave my girlfriend at that time in their life multiple times because I was tired of being ostracized and slandered buy her baby's father.  She would always convince me to stay portraying this image of Innocence that always warms my heart up.  I chose to stay with her for 6 years and deal with this drama.  We got married going on 5 years ago in November of this year 2016.  Well we were just boyfriend and girlfriend I always feel but there was more to the stories she would always tell me I always felt that is baby father of hers must be very consistent and constantly attacking me and trying to defame my name for a reason I was confused always accused her of cheating on me with him and maybe someone else but she always denied it and she would always give me that same beautiful look of innocence and melt my heart.  

Finally finally once we are married he's kind of slow down with the drama.  But during that time before we were married and even in the early stages of our marriage I stepped out on our marriage multiple times. I was so confused I felt like I love this woman more than anything in the world but she was never able to fully love me and full because she came in this relationship with extra baggage that was way too heavy for her to carry.  I tried meeting new women I tried having sexual intercourse with other women everytime I try to move on I would find something in the personality or the actions of these other women that would always make me say my girlfriend slash wife is the best option and I love her and I do not want to leave.

Now let's get to the point that was a little bit of background story.  Back in the late spring early summer of 2014 my mother hit stage 4 colon cancer.  I was also heading into my senior year at the local University and on my way to starting my new career.  My mother passed away from cancer in July 2014.  Emotionally physically I lost everything I grew up in a single-parent home all I ever had was my mother so when I lost her it hurt me very badly it hurt me so much that I began to emotionally detach from everything from school from work from my wife and from any and everything that mattered to me.  During the time that I was morning my wife was more concerned about me being there for her emotionally and making her feel better about herself we're both 29 years old we are both going to 10:30 at the beginning of 2015 she was having a mid-life crisis when she thought that she "lost it" when to work and because I'm that other man we're not hitting on her as much as they used to when she was younger she began to question her body her loves everything about herself I would always tell her that she was still beautiful and that maybe you know now that she's married and has a wedding ring on and Carries herself in that manner people can tell that she's no longer single and maybe that's the reason they're not hitting on her as much she's to get so upset with me because I never and her opinion was there for her emotionally she also claimed that I was not very positive during this time.  Honestly I wasn't emotionally there myself I just lost my mother the only parent I've ever had I was sad I was mad I was upset I was blaming God and everything else I did not have the strength to uplift her i was always feeling down and depressed myself.  I will come home from school and work and she would be sitting on the couch texting and her phone for an hour she would always be on Facebook shortly after that she created an Instagram account shortly after that she was on Snapchat as well I kept telling her that I didn't approve of her being on so much social media especially when I was dying inside and she would always respond that she had nothing else to do and it's nothing wrong with her being on social media eventually I got fed up with her always being heavily involved in social media I was fed up with the fact that she was not there during my grieving moment while I was lamenting she was texting so I moved out I moved out for about two weeks to a month I told her that we shouldn't be together anymore she had a different objective in life and I was hurting and she wasn't there for me she would always get upset and tell me I was looking for an Escape Route and that I was just leaving because I was graduating with a degree and wanted to leave her with nothing so after long days and nights of arguing and constantly thinking about it I decided to move back in not this moving out and moving in all happened in October so I left around the beginning of October I was back home before Halloween when I came back home I noticed that her social media activities were still heavily active I seen her and a friend of hers changing pictures of guys she quickly respond that that was just have friends send pictures in the Snapchat in the pictures dissolve so it doesn't matter I made her get off of Snapchat but she still kept Instagram and Facebook.  Within days of me go turning back home I noticed that her Facebook activity increased highly she was on there all day everyday it turns out that she started an emotional relationship with the guy that was on my friends list and that went to high school with me he was about a year or two younger than me UC and high school I was the popular jock he was a nobody I don't even remember who you was when I first started to see the messages back and forth between them so much I had to do a little homework and I figured out who it was everyday he sent to positive messages asking how her day was hoping that she does well in life and you know telling her to believe in herself and nobody else will and just filling her head with all of this magical positive jumbo I instructed her not once not twice knock three times but four times to stop talking to that man on different occasions.  I want her after the second time that if she continued to talk to him because he's so positive and he was pretending to be a motivational speaker that he was going to get into her head and find his way into her pants she didn't believe me she would argue with me telling me that he was such a great guy he's not like that he's a motivational speaker only does it help people believe in themselves and that he was just this positive being.  She would befriend him and block him from her Facebook account but then days or weeks later I would find that he was refunded and back in her inbox and posting comments on her wall the nail in the coffin in January of 2015 it was my birthday and I've already instructed her to stop talking to him 3 times on my birthday she was still in her phone and I told her one birthday wish I want is for you to just put your phone down for the whole day she continued to sneak and text on her phone and I walk in closet in the bathroom whenever I wasn't around she said her phone down and I walk in closet under a pile of clothes I act like I didn't see what she did and what she left the room I went into the closet close lock the door and to my surprise she was on Facebook emailing the same guy who I asked her to stop emailing multiple times.  I was so Furious I put my foot down and demanded that she stop talking to him now or I was leaving I was out the door she did like she did all the times and promise that she wouldn't talk to him again.  It was my birthday and the first thing I discovered I just turned 30 years old and the first thing I discovered is that she still continue the same conversations with this guy since back in August/ September of 2014.  I was very hurt I was very angry and I put my foot down I really thought I did so then I took the next step further and I contacted the young man that she had these endless conversations with and he did what any coward would do any nobody would do he avoided me block me from Facebook block me from ways of contacting him so I figured I scared them off and it was over.

Over the course of that year and a half when they first started talking back in August of 2014 I figured that my wife cheated on me but I never really have proof every once in awhile she would have meant something to me she would say something and then once I caught onto it and question then she quickly got scared and denied it and denied it and denied it.  There was a movie that came addicted and in this movie addicted there was a wife who is addicted to sex so she started having sexual affairs with two other men outside of her marriage and she couldn't control herself she just gets addicted to these people for different reasons one was an artist one was this a pretty boy my wife watch this movie a lot when it came out and I always told her you seem to like this movie too much will where are you watching it so much she would always reply that it was a well-written movie and also implied that thing that's relatable to any and everyone once again I did not continue to investigate this and she was sending me we would get in an argument she would say that's why she wishes she would have had an affair with someone she lied to me for nearly two years about the relationship she had with this so-called motivational speaker.  A couple weeks ago a college buddy of mine came over and we were talking about our current relationships he and I got married about a year to a bar he's been married a little longer than me.  He told he told me that he thought his wife may have cheated on him and they're all the marriage and I continually brag and boast how my wife has never cheated on me despite all of the mess ups I've done and our pre married relationship.  I went in the house and then I brag to my wife how our relationship is so awesome and that she was just the best woman in the world for forgiving me and never cheating on me she told me with a Blank Stare that all people make mistakes and that she's made a mistake before.  How quickly sobered up and began to interrogate her about the mistake that she said she made she continued to tell me that already know and that we already talked about it I kept telling her that I had no idea that's what she was talking about and that we have never been clear and leave anything on the table.  She stuck to her story that she already told me and I already know what happened and then she quickly rephrasing and said you know you already know I had an emotional relationship on Facebook.  I then asked her was it strictly only on Facebook she said yes like multiple times before but it just didn't sit well with me the stair and the love she had in her face there was no longer that innocent look it was a look of guilt.  For the next week and a half constantly put the pressure on her to tell me the truth I would not talk to her I would not respond to her with nothing but I just want the truth if she asked me a question I will respond not until you tell me the truth.  I had to make up a story about a mutual friend that went to HighSchool with me and the guy she cheated on me with for her to tell the truth.  For the past 3 days she gave me bits and pieces of the truth until I was able to finally put everything together after my mother passed from cancer and I began to mourn and the emotionally detach in the world that's when she started to get emotionally attached to this young man who was giving her a lot of attention given her positive quotes and sayings and means all day when I was laying in the room crying my heart out because I my heart was broken.  She had no room for me emotionally to give me any love and affection because that was paying giving into this emotional relationship she was having.  3rd wedding anniversary November 2014 I was already moved back in the house after my month of being gone our wedding anniversary was the first week of November I went all out of my way I made her the most magical anniversary possible she was blushing she was crying she was so happy and I filmed it and have it recorded on tape.  A week later I sent her off to get her nails done at a local nail shop on a Sunday she left about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and didn't return home until nearly 9:10 o'clock that night she called me around 6 o'clock p.m. that evening and she told me that she was still at the nail salon and that there was only two workers and a lot of women waiting to get their nails done she instructed me that she would be home in a couple hours she had three ladies ahead of her I found this hard to believe but I chose to believe her she returned home 9 Maybe 10 o'clock pm.  If I question her over and over and over about her whereabouts and she stuck to her story that she was at the nail shop for a very long time she lied to me for nearly two years about this day yesterday she finally broke and told me that she did go to the nail shop but she went to this guy's house after the nail shop she said she was only going to hang out he sent her a picture of a hookah that he just bought and asked her to come over and smoke some hookah with him she agreed she went over and smoke hookah they had vodka and next thing you know their emotional affair turned into a sexual affair.  I hated the fact that I can know what happened I had an idea of what happened between those two but she lived for nearly two years so after I found that last Facebook message between my wife and her cheating friend in January of 2015 I held a deep breath I said I was going to pay her back I cheated on my wife with a girl that I went to HighSchool with that I knew she hated in July of 2015 my wife found out about it within the week she destroyed me physically and mentally made me sign a contract in order to stay in the relationship she gave me rules guidelines I was no longer able to go on social media I wasn't able to go out with friends anymore I bothered by all these rules but the whole time she berated and scolded me she knew deep down in her heart that she had an affair just 6 months 7 months prior 2 my affair.  I honestly did it for Revenge but she just never admitted to what she did even in this situation she still held it deep down inside for another 8 months until April 2016 she finally told the truth about her affair.  

I have developed a hate inside of me for her now I feel like if she knew that she had an affair that went from emotional to sexual 8 months before I had my revenge affair then she should have brought that to the table and we both could have talked about both of our Affairs and how we could have like that instead she actual size me cut me down make me feel like the lowest scum of the earth because I cheated on her and she never cheated on me.  She never admitted to her cheating on me until now she didn't admit women when she found out about my revenge affair she didn't admit when she first did it she never admitted to it when I constantly questioned her Time After Time.  What am I supposed to think what am I supposed to do now?  She is now using the fact that I had a Revenge affair as justification for having an emotional affair was turned sexual with this guy everytime I bring it up that she had a sexual affair with this guy she brings up that I had an affair with a girl that she hated I continuously tell her that I knew deep down inside that she did and I did it for Revenge but she constantly does not own up to the fact that when I needed her the most she was not there for me.  After my mother passed away I was emotionally detached from the world I needed my wife to be there for me to hold me to make me feel comforted but instead she was so used to me doing that for her for years that she didn't even want to try to do it with me instead she went and attached herself to another man and had an 8 month relationship with this guy but she constantly tells me that it was only on Facebook I find it hard to believe that they never talked on the phone or text each other on the phone she stands by it today that they only talk on Facebook.  Told me that she care for him and her feelings for him he positively uplifted her so much with his words that she begin to gain feelings and lose them for me she even cared what he thought about her defending him and taking her off her Facebook like I made her do 3 time and when I found out on the 4th time they already had an affair back in November of 2014 so she continued to converse 8 and have an emotional relationship with him after they had their Affair for two and a half months until I found out on my birthday and went bezerk.  

My question to the world is do I stay with this woman or do I leave this woman we have had way too many problems and I have fought for years to get her to emotionally attached to me and I have not succeeded but a guy on Facebook succeeded her baby's father continuously succeeded but I have not gained any ground and emotionally securing the woman that has two children of mine somebody anybody help me figure out what to do...  Thank you

Tags: Daughter; Friend; Kids; Pictures;

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Comments

Tuesday, April 5, 2016 4:47 AM
Guest

What's wrong with you.leave just do it in peace. There is no respect between the two of you. Let her argue just walk away. When social media, friends and lover becomes more  important  then you its not worth  it. Your mom died and her feeling of wanting to feel special  was more important  then your mom's death and how you felt. Did you ever wonder that maybe she knows  she can't do better then you but you can. That's why she feels that way. Find someone  before you get to  old and regret it. When you leave she will do anything  to get you back. Just don't fall for it. Tell her to call Mr motivational speaker to feel the void that apparently  she needed and you couldn't  supply her. Stop being so STUPID. she will say you weren't  there for me. Your anwer and I'm not there for you now or ever. This is so easy  man. People will tell you it's cheaper  to keep her. But you can't put a price on happiness and a peaceful  state of mind. I rather be poor. Show your kids love and tell the bitch to fi d happiness  somewhere else.

 
Tuesday, April 5, 2016 5:17 PM
Guest

Leave her, she doesn't love you. You really don't love her either. You both are immature and irrational. Neither of you are fit for marriage or even a relationship. If you want to grow up, see a therapist and get some help. You have a long way to go. Get a good therapist, trust them, do what they tell you to do and maybe you can straighten out your life. Your wife is beyond repair. God help the kids!

 
Tuesday, April 5, 2016 10:43 PM
Guest

Both of you need to figure out why your still together today. You both were wrong. No time is a good time to cheat. It looks like a big ugly circle. You got your karma for stepping out on her. Then she got her karma for stepping out after. I think if you both can't get pass the betrayal you should go your separate ways. But if you truthfully love each other and think that with time and maturity forgiveness will be possible then start repairing the relationship now before its to late. Go get counselling either way. One thing for sure trust on both parts will not come easy.  

 
Wednesday, April 6, 2016 9:59 AM
Guest

 I hope no diseases were involved in this one...yikes!

 
Wednesday, April 6, 2016 10:12 AM
Guest

You should read the Not a Victim post ...

 
Wednesday, April 6, 2016 8:25 PM
Guest

Her story is on year also. Or they both might be fake.

 
Thursday, April 7, 2016 10:10 PM
Shaun

Leave her. Only answer to this. She has cheated on you, you know about it, and she KNOWS you know. She is only staying with you because you probably have enough cash and a comfortable enough home that she would rather live with you then with her fling(s)

Seriously though. Leave her, take everything, get evidence of her cheating and take your life back.

 
Saturday, April 9, 2016 9:57 PM
Guest

Why is it a woman tells her story, her inner feelings and automatically she's a whore!!!! A man can screw as many woman as they want and it's ok. SMH . You screwed around way more than she did. Your just as dirty.

 
Saturday, April 9, 2016 10:05 PM
Guest

Why is it that when a woman tells her story her inner feelings and automatically she's a whore? A man can screw as many woman as they want and it's okay. SMH . You screwed around on her first and last. Your just as dirty as she is if not worse. Grow up.

 

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