This is going to sound stupid. I don't know where to start. I'm dating my girlfriend back in high school and it was like we fell for each other at the wrong time so it seems. We had gym together where I first met her in my senior year of high school. She came to me when I lost hope in dating girls at the time. She seemed  interested in me. And I never thought that she would've especially since I've been rejected countless times and lead on. So i took a chance and i couldn't resist how attractive I was to her. then we were talking for about a month and I didn't notice she had feelings  until after I've been cheated on that she wasn't over her ex. It's like I was blind. It was right around the corner for prom and I asked her to be my prom date but I had to meet her parents first. They liked me as I expected. The next day I couldn't see her because I was shopping for a suit to wear to prom and just talking to her the whole day was off. We talked  her and there and I could  sense the nervousness in her voice. So I got frustrated with her and I said tell me what's wrong now. She tells me can we just be friends? I'm like why when we just had a conversation about sticking together through tough times ? She finally  confessed she cheated on me by kissing her ex and I was soo upset my hands got cold after hearing what she told me and tears came down my eyes. I asked her why now and why me. She said she was sorry and it just got the best of her. I said it's okay because I still had love for her. As we moved passed that we continued moving on with the relationship and promised me that she'll never cheat on me again and soo far she has been true to her words. A year after that incident I happened to think about what she did and I couldn't help but ask her did she have sex with him that day. She was trying to dodge the question saying I had sex with him before yeah completely ignoring the question. So I asked one more time. Did you have sex with him the day you cheated on me? Tears was running down her face and she told me yes. My stomach  cringed I hated myself, she kept  telling me she was sorry for lying to me. I pushed her off of me by saying it was just a little kiss right? I told her don't talk to me. how could she do this to me? I  was furious I found out a year later. I wish she told me earlier. It was hard I couldn't even speak about it to anyone. It's embarrassing to say that my girlfriend cheated on me and I'm still with her. I don't hate her I just wish she never done this to me. I hated her and loved her at the same time. It was the hardest thing to forgive her. I know I'm going to get criticism based off the decision I made but I stuck with the relationship only because we both agreed to move forward from what happened when she 1st told me. She lied I know but she haven't cheated on me ever since since I've been around her all the time. God knows how big my heart is. How much  I had to pick up my pieces. I asked God to forgive me for anything I've done to deserve this or for any of my foolish actions. I just wanted to get this off my chest since I wasn't able to talk about it. She have kept her promise and have done nothing to prove otherwise.I gave her the world and all my efforts in this relationship. Why must the ones we love hurt us so? 

   It's just that I felt soo weak I forgot to eat. I told her you don't know how much I love you and you did me dirty like I was betrayed. I told her I'd still love love you but the trust  you must earn from me. I soaked my pillows at night and resist temptation every night for you. So why couldn't you do the same for me that day? I hate hearing people getting cheated on. It's the worst feeling. It makes a person feel less of who they are. But trust me and believe me when I say you will get through this.