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I cheated on my husband

Sunday, January 31, 2016 12:03 PM by Guest Rating: +42|-30

I have been with my husband for 11 years. I recently underwent a lot of stress. Lost 70 pounds and my mind. There was one person who had been by my side through all of it. A coworker. He had become my best friend. I could call him at any hour and he would be able to calm me down. I tried to talk to my husband about the issues that were stressing me out but he didn't seem to understand. He saw my losing weight as a good thing. So when I would come home, he wouldn't ask me about my day. Instead he asked if I talked to B (my friend coworker) about everything or should he be expecting me to call him later. Some days I would call B on my hour commute and talk the stress away. Other days B would work the later shift so I had to call him on his lunch break. B really got me. He really understood what I was going through. Even if he didn't always know what to say, he listened and then would say things like "I'm not sure but here's my opinion" so it wasn't a judgement or a command or him pretending to know the right answer for me. It was to give me another view to the situation. This went on for several months. B always asked my opinion on his dilemmas as well. We worked like a well oil machine when we were at work. He's been a mentor as he has 10 years more experience than I do, so I valued our time together. 

One day it hit me hard and I was a mess. My supervisor actually asked if I needed the rest of the day off. I declined and just said I needed to work to keep my mind occupied. I called my husband and told him that I was having a very bad day and couldn't shake it. B noticed how bad it was and had asked if I wanted to go out for a drink after work. I told him yes but needed to check with my husband and make sure he knew where I would be and that I'd be safe as I didn't want him to worry. Of course my husband was supportive and told me he didn't mind. B and I went for drinks after work. I ended up getting smashed and could hardly walk. B called my husband to tell him what happened and asked what to do. Husband told him to take me to his house and allow me to sleep it off. B obliged. Once at his apartment, B laid me in his bed and sat at the edge keeping his distance in a respectful manner. We sat and chatted for what seemed like hours but was probably about 30 minutes before I dozed off. I don't know how long I slept because I woke up with him laying beside me asleep. 

I tried to be as silent as possibly as I slinked out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. I ended up getting in the shower to hopefully wake myself up. I got out of the shower and wrapped up in a towel. I walked back in the bedroom where he was now sitting up. I apologized for waking him. He said he didn't mind and was glad I was there. He asked me about my day. (As he didn't already know) so I rolled my eyes and huffed a big oh my god. So I jumped on the bed next him and started bitching all over again. He started smiling and laughing at me so I punched him in the arm as girls do. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me over onto the bed. Use your imagination for the rest.

 This man has been my everything for 7-8 months. It was one time. I don't feel like there is romance there. It's not weird at work between us. We still talk. He is still my best friend. I love my husband and don't want to hurt him. Do I tell him anyways? I promised myself that I'd never go "get a drink" with B again and of course never be at his place ever again! Was this my fault? I mean I know I'm to blame but what exactly did I do to get here?! 

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Comments

Monday, February 1, 2016 1:56 AM
I'm fair

Ur good.. Keep ur secret... No need to tell

 
Monday, February 1, 2016 6:05 AM
Guest

Shut up I'm fair. Your a sick perv.  Any way normally  I would be mad calling you all sort of name  but your husband is an asshole. A dumb fuck. He should be doing all those things your friend is.  As in telling him it's  your choice. Does he deserve it yes. But to be honest I think he knows and wants you too. He probably  fantasies  about it and if he hasn't  he has been cheating on you. Or I hope not. He is the dumbest man on the earth.   Good luck.

 
Monday, February 1, 2016 10:41 AM
Thom

What kind of husband actually pawns his wife's problems off on another man? A bad one, that's what! You need marriage counciling and you need it now. Your husband should have been at your side from the start, which is a big reason as to why this happened. But the biggest one at fault, is of course, you. You view your husband's disinterest in your problems and shrug off, when you should have been hitting him over the head with it with a 2x4! I view your husband's 'not getting it' as a growing fault in your marriage, and you doing nothing about it is just the same as giving up on that marriage. It's the little 'faults' in a marriage that allow this complacency and the casual disregard to a spouse's well-being that opened the door to this encounter. There is no one who is right here. Not you. Not your husband, and not your co-worker. If you do love your husband and want to stay with him, then get help, before this gets worse. And good luck.

 
Monday, February 1, 2016 10:55 AM
Guest

It was both your fault for getting too close to another man, and it was also your husband's fault for allowing you to get too cozy with your coworker.  I would NEVER let my wife go alone to another man's house after drinks.  Yes, there should be trust, but not too much of it. We are human, very weak in the flesh.

 
Monday, February 1, 2016 8:26 PM
really?

Seriously? Your husband sent you to sleep at another man's house? Sounds like a genius lol

Get rid of him.

 
Tuesday, February 2, 2016 5:46 PM
Guest

Your hubby either wanted you to fuck him? Or he  wasn't ready to send his gf home just yet so wanted you to stay out? Or maybe he is just One Dumb Son of a Bitch, lol. Every man who has a female friend may be her friend and confidant but is also curious about sleeping with her too. Men can't  be friends with a woman without thinking of sex...Any man that says different is either a liar or gay. If I didnt want my wife to sleep with others I wouldn't have even have gave the OK of  her going out for drinks forget going to his house. I may be old fashioned but married women and girlfriends don't belong in bars without their spouse or BF's with them Just like with you...any drunk woman will let her guard down and most likely get horny and do things she normally wouldnt do. There are also her gf's and co workers who might encourage her to do stuff she wouldnt do without being in that situation and buzzed or drunk. Did he ask a lot of questions when u got home? Does he know B? Do you think your hubby and B had a plan? Has B tried to do anything with you since then? Asked you out for drinks or to his house again? Make comments or talk about that night with you? Was B better than your hubby? Do you want to fuck him again? Bigger than hubby? 

 
Tuesday, February 2, 2016 8:51 PM
Guest- author

guest,

no he didn't ask too many questions when I got home. Basically checked to make sure that I was okay and wasn't hung over. It's an hour commute so I understand him not wanting me to drive. I know I put myself in the situation and was dumb for doing it. I don't honestly think there was a "plan" in place. I think B was just trying to be the best friend he could by asking me to go get a drink. I don't think his intentions were to get me drunk and take me home. We have kept our friendship just that. We don't talk about it and we don't act weird towards each other. Almost as if it didn't happen. Which is fine with me because I'm not romantically attached to him. As for him being better, it was in the heat of the moment so it was hot but I've had hot sex with my husband many times so not really better, just different. I'm not obsessing or dreaming of being with B. If he suggested trying it again, I would have to turn him down. I'm not going to ever allow myself to be in that situation again. It was wrong the first time and it will be wrong a second time. 

 

Thank you you all for your comments. I'm not sure that I'm going to come clean about this. It will destroy my husband and stain the last 11 years. He doesn't deserve that type of pain. 

 
Wednesday, February 3, 2016 2:17 AM
The Bad Doctor

You knew what you were doing from the get go. You are a sneaky manipulating person. Marriage cant be fun times all time and the reason why you got close to him is because you not exposed to each others flaws which made your realtionship with B fun. Also you lusted and knew that you may end up having intercourse with the dude and he used his time to get you into his bed he seems like a cool dude but truth is you are the same kinds of shits and if he respected you he would have respected your husband and the trust that he put, your husband is an idiot by the way. 

 

You explained this story in a way that would be favourable you immature swine! Being economical with the truth with us... Dont tell your husband but really look into things now, he isnt the problem you are! Your expectations are unrealistic and supposed to grow more patient with your partner. it really wont get easier with your ridiculous expectations. Earn your husbands trust in an honest manner too, dont use his ignorance thats very bitchy and dangerous.

 

Regards 

 

BD

 
Wednesday, February 3, 2016 12:20 PM
Guest

first I'm all for doing new things as long as both people know. What you did was the lowest. You knew what you were doing from the start. So don't try to put Blair on your husband. It's females like you that will always know women are nothing more then free whores. I hope he divorced you I hope you have to pay him. Your a sick fucking whore I hope you get an std or worse. Women in America today just cheap fucks

 
Thursday, February 4, 2016 8:05 PM
Guest

Your husband let you go with him because he trusted you, and your co-worker enough to think you were safe.  From the sounds of it, he wasn't that wrong in his assumption.  What happened, happened.  There are a lot of factors that contributed it to it.  If you can live the rest of your life without telling your husband, that's ok I think.  Being honest with him comes with it's risks, but it really does sound like you two are in dire need of some couples counselling.  Consider it.  Infidelity does not have to ruin what you have.

 
Friday, February 5, 2016 1:38 PM
Guest

I see what precipitated your affair. First, your expectations are unrealistic at best.  Men, like myself, are problem solvers.it sounds like he was giving you advice when u had issues at work etc...that's a man's natural default.  Did you communicate to him yours needs?  Like tell him u need him to listen and not give advice?  If he is unable to just listen to you in this capacity then i suggests talking with a female coworker or friend only.  Second, your relationship with your coworker was inappropriate....plain and simple.  You don't get emotionally close to another male like this when you are in a relationship. Before it got physical, your relationship was wrong.  You husband should be the only one to fill your emotional needs.  If he wasn't fulfilling ypur emotional needs, then it is up to you to tell him...and not withhold you're feelings. Your relationship with your coworker should have ended at that point before it got physical and then implement good boundaries with other men at that point.  Thirdly, no way in hell should have you and your coworker went out for drinks, let alone lunch together alone. That's just plain disrespectfull to your husband. What I don't understand why your husband was ok with that.  A married individual has to implement strict boundaries with a friend of the opposite sex.  My wife has a male friend but she only sees him when I'm with her.  To do anything alone with a friend of the opposite sex is inviting inappropriate relations.  Also, when u called your husband he was ok with you going to your coworkers house...not to sound rude but is your husband stupid, gullible or just too trusting?  I think you should tell your husband about everything because a secret like this will always create a wedge between you two regardless of any improvements you make..ie..counseling, communication and healthy boundaries with men.  That secret will always be the elephant in the room. If you tell him he might leave you but if you don't it'll be toxic to you and a heavy burdon to carry around and be a barrier to the emotional connection with your husband.

 

 
Sunday, February 7, 2016 3:21 PM
Guest

Your husband should be your best friend and confidant, not some creepy coworker that messes with married women. Your husband deserves the truth. You are not a good wife, he deserves the option to be free of you. 

 

 
Thursday, March 10, 2016 2:35 PM
justaperson4

first of all, dats not your friend, if dat disgusting thing was your friend he wouldnt have made you do dat, you should tottaly kill yourself, you dont deserve to live you are a failure to this planet, than you people say, "its just a friend", fuck you, pls die, the world would be bether off whitout you.

 
Sunday, March 20, 2016 11:48 AM
abc

What was your husband thinking!!

 
Friday, May 20, 2016 8:12 AM
Guest

Once again.  Women need to take responsibility for their own relationship whether married or friends.  You've lost touch with your husband.  Men are morons we don't really know what are women want and neglect to ask because it turns into a story we are incapable of following.  You tell your husband.  If he forgives you your lucky if not you've earned it.  You a B are both responsible for it.  Wake up tell your husband what you need in the relationship.  Don't overload him as I'm guessing your the needy type.  Tell him a few things then start looking for a job you can handle your stressed way to often to be happy ar work.  But once again that's your responsibility.

 
Monday, August 15, 2016 6:40 PM
Guest

Forgive yourself, don't tell your husband, don't do it again, and lose your friend.  You're being unfaithful to your husband by being so close to another man. Being close to your friend keeps you from working things out with your husband. If you can't work things out with your husband then leave him. 

 

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