Friday, August 26, 2016 7:28 AM by Cathy
I have been married 19 years. We both confided in eachother about past secrets. When we were separated he was naked in bed with a woman, he originally lied to me about the full story, anyway he did not have sex with her, he said he was drunk and couldn't because he loved me. I believed him and forgave him. So I told my husband about a one night stand I had in college. I lied to him about it when he asked me then. now he knows how he got crabs 25 years ago. Also told him about how I confided in my male boss about my marriage problems. I also flirted with him throughout the years. If we went out in a group from work I would make sure I looked hot. When i was in my twenties i wore thigh high stocking and showed the side of my thigh and he touched the lace, also worked out with him and wore tight shorts, I teased him one day I told him I had a bathing suit I thought was to revealing he said bring it in and I'll tell you, so I brought the bathing suit in to work and changed to show him it. I was so embarrassed and ashamed I walked out quickly and ran back into the bathroom. what the neck was I thinking? I always considered him friend and mentor. he always held the door for me and touched the small of back. during holidays he would give me a hug and kiss. I told my husband all this stuff not all together. I was afraid I would have to quit my job. Well I did quit my job of 25 years to help build our marriage, but now he don't believe me that we did not have sex. I am telling the truth but because of my lies, and showing parts of my body he does not believe me. I hurt him so bad he keeps telling me to tell him the truth and he won't leave. I am but he insists i am lying. he says there is no way you did not have sex how could you do this. You ruined my life. He thinks i am narsasistic. I feel so alone we have a 13 year old, we both dont have jobs, we are selling our home. the plan was to move out of state and start over, but now he wants to leave. We both cry a lot I am so remorseful for what I am putting him through. We went to counceling it helps for that moment but after a few hours of him thinking he is back thinking the awful thoughts. Is my marriage over what can I do?