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One night stand

I cheated on my husband

Wednesday, June 1, 2016 9:17 AM by Ys79 Rating: +37|-17

It will be 10 years this summer of my marriage, I wont say they been perfect but pretty close, I was a stay home mom for 8 years, Financially we had some rough patches but we always pulled through, 2 beautiful boys who are both in elementary now which has allowed me to get back out there and got a job in a resort, the schedule is not great but the pay is decent, enough for hubby to work a bit less and dpend some time with the kids.

I instantly befriended a co-worker, Ill call her Brie, we are about the same age (35) but she just finished a divorce, her life is a lot more active thsn mines, now I love my husband with all my heart, faults and everything, my kids are my life and my home are the most important things to me, yet I have to admit as if I feel I got old very fast, I dress older and I have no idea about cool spots to have a drink, Brie helped me out with that, she is like more connected to the world.

My husband encouraged me to make friends and enjoy a drink or 2 once a week, I hate to sound self involved but it felt nice to dress up and sit at a bar, notice that some guys stared a bit, Im not an attractive woman to say but I was at one point and it felt good to turn some heads.

2 weeks ago we had more drinks than we should have and Brie started talking to a man who was there with his friend, I participated in the conversation to help out Brie find a guy, well, alcohol and the ilussion of being found attractive led me to making love to one of his friends, now the guilt is killing me and I stopped talking to Brie because I feel shes a bad influence, I will admit the sex was great and erotic but the guilt kicked in right after and now im full of regrets and just want my husband and never leave his side. We have a beautiful family and I wont risk it for anything so I cant come clean with him because it meant nothing. What do you all think?  

Tags: Alcohol; Divorce; Friend; Kids;

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Wednesday, June 1, 2016 12:31 PM
Guest

From experience as a cheater 9 times out of 10 the reason you don't want to tell him is because in a way you want to do it again. You feel guilty but nasty at the same time. You feel bad in a good and bad way. The only way I was able to stop was to come clean and give him a chance to make a choice. I came to notice that everything I was doing was for selfish reason. It wasn't the alcohol baby it was you. You know you wanted to do it that night so you did. Cutting of brie won't help you because I'm assuming your still working with her. But like I said not telling him is a sign that your still thinking about the possibility. Your still trying to figure out if you want to continue that route or stop. They always say if you truly love your spouse you will tell him. So that's what I did. To be honest I don't think you were playing wing man to brie I think brie was playing wing man for you. That outing was for you and not for brie. Be honest 

 
Wednesday, June 1, 2016 5:11 PM
Guest

I have to agree with everything the 1st Guest said above.......except to tell your husband.  I know this goes against the grain but telling him will ruin everything for him and you.  It will crush him and most likey ruin your marriage, unless he's VERY VERY understanding and forgiving.  If he's not and if you're very sure that there is no way that he will find out, I'd keep quite AND DON'T CHEAT AGAIN!  I always wonder why people say it's best to confess when all that happens are ruined lives.  It's best to not cheat in the first place.  Don't cheat again and keep your mouth shut.  And the saying I know of is "If you love your spouse you woundn't cheat".  Brie isn't a bad influence, you're looking for an scape goat for what you did.  You have only 1 person to blame, and it's you.  Right now you'll have to live with the guilt of cheating.  Imagine the guilt you will have when you tell your husband - ruined husband, ruined family life, ruined marriage, on top of cheating.  I find it best is to keep quite and treat your husband like the person you love, agreed to marry and start a family. 

 
Wednesday, June 1, 2016 6:27 PM
Guest

I agree with the first person, you may be sorry, but you clearly dont respect your husband which means you dont love him. You just dont want to ruin the convenience of being married. It is very selfish to keep quiet and your husband will notice eventually. You will start to look at him different if you are truly guilty and men are not as dumb as you think. You should tell him and give him the opportunity and be prepared to meet any demand he lays out to keep the family together. You should also premptively get your children DNA tested so you can prove to him that its the first and last time. Or at least offer to get the kids tested if you do not want to do it premptively. the first person is right. the marriage is already ruined because things will slowly change with how you act and he will notice. tell him and what happens will happen. odds are he will stay with you, but that asking you to go out and make friends is over because the very first time you did that you had sex with another man. you can be young for your husband you dont have to go out and drink with god knows who to feel young. Him giving you permission to do this was him saying he wants you to feel young again, just from now on do it with him because you cannot be trusted. Unfortunatly if I was your husband I would stay after a DNA test and you would not be allowed out the house except for work and going out with me and/or the kids ever again (although I dont really understand myself why any person man or woman wants to do something without their significant other).

 
Wednesday, June 1, 2016 8:24 PM
Guest

   You really think  that what you did won't  come to light  then your sadly  mistake.  How sad of a human you are. This man trusted you and you made a fool out of him. What kind of love does that. Everyone  makes mistakes, it human to do so. But you don’t  want to own up to your mistake and you think you can live without confessing. OK lets see how it works out for you. That guilt is going to eat at you all your life. If you love your husband  you would tell him. Let him make his choice.  The people  on here that tell you not to tell him are the biggest  hypocrites and would want to know if their significant  other were cheating on them. Every kiss and sexual act with your husband will remind you of what you did. Burn in hell.

 
Wednesday, June 1, 2016 10:03 PM
Guest

All people have secrets and learn to live with them,  move on, be the best wife from here on now,  don't say anything to your husband

 
Wednesday, June 1, 2016 10:56 PM
Guest

You say the sex was great and erotic, so obviously it DID mean something to you.  I agree with those who are saying to come clean.  Your husband is going to find out on his own one day.  And because you weren't honest with him, he will never believe that it was only the one time.  Your guilt is going to cause you to act differently when you are around him and he's going to notice.  And if someday you can stop feeling guilty about what you have done, you'll show that you don't really love or respect your husband and that your "relationship" is a farce.

 
Thursday, June 2, 2016 2:07 AM
Guest

Whether you come clean or not, you've already risked your "beautiful family".  Remember, there's one guy out there that knows all about your little secret.  What are you going to do when he comes creeping around again?  You may cheat on your husband again, or, he may realize that you are an easy mark for blackmail.

 
Thursday, June 2, 2016 4:28 AM
LanaH102

I love my husband with all my heart, faults and everything, my kids are my life and my home are the most important things to me.. I love women who say this but some how another man's Dick ended up in me... I think what happened describes the type of person you are. you wont tell him and you will be out with your friend again very soon.

 
Thursday, June 2, 2016 12:00 PM
Guest

There are a few people here saying to keep quiet about what you did.  Let me ask you this:  Are you willing to live a lie for the rest of your life?   If you believe you can live a lie, and be comfortable with it, then your marriage and image of family will become a lie as well.

 
Thursday, June 2, 2016 5:32 PM
Guest

If you are not gonna do it again,  then bury that secret, forget about it and move on,  people live with lies and secrets, time will ta,e the guilt off

 
Friday, June 3, 2016 11:19 AM
Guest

Well I have problem with a wife who cheats on a good and honest man. I don't think that any excuse can justify that unless she was totally passed out which was not the case. Remorse is just not enough.  How can he ever trust her again?  It makes me angry and I feel that women who cheat are nothing more than whores. 

 
Saturday, June 4, 2016 3:53 PM
Guest

i just found out my loving wife of 11 years was having sex with an exboyfriend for the last few months. I'm truly devastated and heart broken. She made the excuse that I didn't make her my highest priority and that's why she did it. It'll now be a divorce. I wish she hadn't told me and just asked for a divorce. 

 
Sunday, June 5, 2016 4:11 AM
Sucker

wow. This is like the new normal these days. Love honor and respect are mere words that get used out of convienence. I have been the hubby in these stories more than once and i can tell you as I write this there is no greater pain that I have come to know. You basically have killed your husband and I mean murdered him. What will be left of him after what you did will be a shell of his former self. It will take home years to recover some of his strength and be a man again. Ya know I really don't get women at all. You have a good man at home even an okay man at home and you take another guy inside you. That is like the most intimate thought out and desired activity you could do. It's no mistake no accident no nothing. The second you made eye contact with this other piece of meat at the bar you were basically giving him the green light. That is all it took was a second. A second to shatter all your lives. And yes you are not alone as it seems all women today need to feel this way. I need to feel desired. Well shit none of you should ever get into any relationship ever that is based on monogamy and trust. Just make it clear that you like all men and you are open for business when the wind blows. 

 
Sunday, June 5, 2016 7:21 AM
Guest

What secrets may her husband have? We assume he's a great person, but honestly we all know that there isn't such a thing. He may very well have his own dark secrets to keep. I personally don't think there is any "perfect and good" spouse. All of us sin and fall short in a marriage in some way. How come this woman let herself go and dress old in the first place? Didn't their marriage require some sort of attraction and effort still? From my experience, if this woman found herself at a bar, feeling attraction and having meaningful conversation for the first time in a long time - then 1) something isn't right in the marriage and 2) that's a powerful drug for someone that hasn't experienced that in a long time. Let's not judge here. We're all capable of bad things. She went out unprepared and made a mistake. Like anyone - she should learn from that mistake. She should ask herself why she did it when she clearly loves her husband and family. She should find be reason because mistakes shold be a chance for growth. Now if the answer is because the marriage needs work, then she should talk to her husband about that. If it's because she had a momentary lapse in judgement, then take it to the grave. If the answer is she's a selfish jerk who loves to cheat - then tell your husband. 

 
Sunday, June 5, 2016 1:21 PM
Guest

a question to the person above me. What would you say in the situation where the husband cheated on his wife?

 
Sunday, June 5, 2016 1:58 PM
Guest

I would say the same thing. No one is perfect. No marriage is perfect.

 
Sunday, June 5, 2016 8:47 PM
Guest

Here's the deal - if you admit to cheating your marriage is over.   Even if he Forgives you it will always be in the back of both your minds. And  if you keep quiet and don't say anything it will eat away at you. It is a lose lose situation.    I'm not a religious person but I am a pragmatist.  If You still love your husband why destroy your marriage over a mistake?  Keep the mistake to yourself and find someone who you can talk to about it such as a counselor  just to get it off your chest. And just do good going forward. 

 
Monday, June 6, 2016 1:32 AM
Guest

If You're done, then So Be It. 

Save Your Marriage. Fuck your husband till He knows that He means 

everything to You.  When you guys get in bed, reach down there, and let him know 

how important He is to You.  Do stuff for Him. Make stuff for Him. 

Ask Him what His favorite desert is, then tell Him You want to make it for him. 

 

 

 
Tuesday, June 7, 2016 2:56 AM
Guest

Hi,we all make mistakes ,you're human.Refuse to feel guilty.That is why Jesus was impaled on the cross,to wash your sins and clean all your guilty conscious!Don't ever and  I mean absolutely forever tell your hubby !It'll ruin your marriage.He'll never forgive completely as God does.From now, make it right with God,and I promise you,all the guilty consciousness will obliterate!

I'm talking from experience,I was a horrible,terrible cheater but I told myself,my wife does not deserve this.I wanna change!It's not easy.You  have to be completely committed to God without wavering.The more you pray and fellowship with God ,you'll feel his presence and love.

Unfortunately, you better stop this thing of going out with Brie for drink.It's not health for you @ all.

 
Tuesday, June 7, 2016 11:55 AM
Devil

How would you feel if your huband had sex with another girl behind your back and never told you? What comes around goes around. I just watch and laugh!

 
Tuesday, June 7, 2016 6:11 PM
Guest

1. You cannot really care that much about your family if you would cheat on them, that's right you cheated on the kids too! You valued a one night stand with a stranger more than your husbands happiness, and your kids intact home.  

2. Since we know you don't care about them, you really do not feel guilty you feel fear of discovery. You want to know what to do to get yourself out of trouble. 

3. Since we know that you neither love or respect your husband and children, we can determine that you are a selfish, cowardly piece of shit. We can also depend on you trying to keep what you did quiet out of fear. Most likely it will work, but you will have a tremendous fear growning inside of you eating away at you for the rest of your life. You have fucked yourself coward!

4. There is a chance that you will be able to hide your betrayal. If that happens and you get away with it, you will likely do it again. You are already a cheater and going to hell, so you will rationalize more cheating. You will become a queen of betrayal. You have already dishonored yourself but you will sink to the depths of depravity in the near future. Satan is waiting for you. 

 
Wednesday, June 8, 2016 5:46 PM
Guest

Not telling him what you did it is only in your benefit. He deserves to know what kind of person he is married with. If you really love him, it you are really sorry for for what you did, you need to come clean and give him the oportunity to chose if he wants forgive you for what you did. Keeping what happened, is a very selfish thing. You a re not thinking about hin, you are thinking about yourself. There is obviously wrong in your marriage and you need to work on it, otherwise you will do it again when the guilt worns out. You will think you that you did it and didn't get caught and you will got for it again.

 
Thursday, June 9, 2016 11:30 PM
Bashful

Go,    and sin no more.   The Son of God said that to a whore,  a prostitute .  Notice that no one could cast the first stone?  I had a divorced girlfriend that succumbed to a co- workers repeated advances.  Just once.   Guilt eventually made her come clean.   They Had one child.  He divorced her.  They would have had a happy life together if she had talked to God repentantly instead!   I think she would have treated him like a king knowing that he did not deserve to have a cheating wife.

 
Tuesday, June 14, 2016 5:48 AM
Guest

Cheating makes you a poa period

 
Wednesday, June 15, 2016 4:17 AM
Guest

Whatever you do do not say a word to your husband,  it will ruin 4 lives and you will never recover from it.  Keep this secret and move on.

 
Monday, June 27, 2016 4:42 AM
Guest

Keep doing it. Your fine if you don't get caught 

 
Monday, August 1, 2016 8:32 AM
cynthia

You must tell your husband the truth. Otherwise your marriage is a farce and a lie. 

 
Monday, August 29, 2016 9:22 AM
Guest

Don't tell your husband, and don't do it again. You are not a victim here. You went down a dangerous road by going out drinking with your friend. Of course the attention felt great. It would have felt great to your husband to go out and get attention from other women, but he didn't do it. Do not ever put yourself in that position again. The guy did not see you as being attractive. He saw you as someone he could fuck if be said the right things. He said them and you fucked him. You knew this could happen. If you think you will ever do this again or even put yourself in a position where it could happen then you should just tell your husband the truth. 

 

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