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Second Chance?

My boyfriend cheated on me

Monday, March 28, 2016 2:03 PM by LO Rating: +3|-1

Back Story: about 3 years about I was in another relationship where my boyfriend at the time cheated on me. I didn't figure out that he cheated for about 3 months, and I was crushed, it was the most dysfunctional relationship and I constantly thought about leaving him. Anyways, he cheated on me after we had a fight cause he claimed he thought we broke up but I didn't know he was unfaithful until a few months after. Once I found out he owned up to it and admitted his fault then said he didn't want to work things out cause he didn't think he was in a place in his life where we wanted a relationship. I wanted him to fight so I still texted him and hungout with him for about 2 months cause I wanted to know I was worth fighting for. Anways, after 2 months I realized I was better off and deserved so much more, and promised myself to value myself more and never let a boy do so to me again.

So, I have been in a relationship for 10 months and I thought I had a serious future with this guy. I told him everything about my past relationship and he knows how I feel about cheating, and he always said "I would never do that to you", and knows how hurt I was. Anyways over the course of our relationship parents and friends always said that he adored me, and loved me so much. I thought he loved me, and I love him very much. Everything was great, I didn't have a worry in the world about anything until two nights ago. I was with my friends drunk at a bar and my friend said she needed to tell me something and wanted to drive me home and when she did so she told me that she heard my boyfriend was hooking up with this girl he had history with. The story she told was faulty, but I said for her to drive me to his house. I went in and confronted him about it crying and freaking out and he started crying and said it wasn't true. He said he loves me and he could never do that to me. He told me to think about it, the story doesn't make any sense, and that I need to trust him. He ended up talking me through things and I believed him and began to calm down. I believed him but wanted to know where this story came from and more details about it. So, I began to text people and basically everyone in my small town heard this rumour until I tracked down who it came from. My co-worker said about a month ago she walked into the bar bathroom where he came out of a stall stupid drunk, and then went to a booth crying. After like 2 min, the girl came out with her pants undone. I kept asking him and he said he hasn't see her for like 6 months, and that it didn't happen. Once I figured the truth out I called him out again and he said that he doesn't remember anything because he blacked out that night. The weekend after one of his good friends told him what happened and told him to talk to me about it... but he never did. So over the phone he admits it to me finally, after lying for about a month then denying it for the weekend, that he was seen with her and he was told they kissed but he doesn't remeber cause he was so drunk. I said we're done and he began to cry and beg for me to give him another chance. He says I'm his future and that he will do whatever it takes to gain my trust back, and he wants to work through this. I love him so much and I remember all the good things he's done and I want things to work cause I saw a future with him.. but now I don't know what to do. My head is telling me I'm worth more than this and need to leave him, but my heart is saying he's such a good guy and I love him so much that we can work things out and become stronger from this... so I don't know whether or not I should give him the second chance?

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Friday, April 1, 2016 9:07 PM

He has a drinking problem.  

If he goes out to bars and get drunk often, he could cheat again or worse by getting into an accident.  If you love him enough, then forgive him.  But this cheating will always be at the back your mind.  Try to work it out if you think its worth it.  You need to talk to him about his drinking problem.  If he doesn't want to change for you, then leave him.  It's not worth the anguish.  Your relationship with him is still only girl friend/boy friend. 

Saturday, April 23, 2016 6:43 PM

How embarrassing, you've handled the situation in such an immature manner.  Getting everyone and their mother involved, that's high school stuff.  If you have suspicions, end it.  You will never be happy without trust.  The right guy will come along and he will act in a way that leaves no doubt in your mind, that you're it for him.  Life is too short to waste your time.  


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