Tell Us Your Story

Story of Cheating

<
Share Your Story
Read Stories
>
Subscribe to Stories:

Serial cheater?

My wife cheated on me

Friday, October 9, 2015 1:17 PM by GuestJB Rating: +29|-17

I met my future wife at work. She was smart, beautiful, funny, and our conversations just flowed. We both became flirtatious, and I finally gave her my number and asked her out after work. She said she was flattered, but she was married! I apologized and said I didn't know(she never once mentioned him). She said he was "away". I assumed he was in the military, but turns out he was in prison for drug charges! So we continue talking at work, and eventually we went out for drinks after work one night. We ended up kissing before parting ways. Some time goes by, and we're falling in love. Our relationship takes off and she becomes pregnant with our daughter. She informs her incarcerated husband of everything, and they divorce. We buy a house, have a baby, she says this is the life she wanted, that she could never have with her ex. A while later the ex gets out of prison. She returns some things to him, and apparently still has feelings for him. She "needs time" to figure things out" and goes to stay with her mom. Turns out she was hanging out with the ex. I'm devastated and beg for her back. She comes back and we have another child, get married, everything seems fine. 2 years into our marriage, I'm working nights, I'm tired, miserable at times, but doing everything in my power to contribute and provide for our family. I notice a change in my wife's behavior. Always tapping away on her phone, taking her phone everywhere she goes. Curiosity gets the best of me, so after a week of trying to crack her complicated password on her phone, I get in. There I see Facebook messages back and forth between her and a co worker. She had sent a pic of her in the tub, to which he responded how he wishes he was under the bubbles with her, and how he can't stop thinking about being between her legs..how she responded to every lick. I'm not perfect, but this guy is older, fat, bald..not typically her type. My heart hits the floor. I confront her and her first response was "what did you think was going to happen?" Really?!?! I left to stay with my brother for a few days to cool off. She calls and texts saying she wants me back, and it was the worst mistake she ever made. It's been 2 years since I came back, and not a day has gone by where I haven't thought about it. I made her pay for it over and over. Now she's done, saying she can't be with me because I "live in the past" and can't let things go. I hate for things to fall apart, because of the kids, but I'm realizing now I should have left 2 years ago when I first found out..

Tags: Coworker Affair; Divorce; Kids;

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Friday, October 9, 2015 3:13 PM
GuestJB

she told me she cant do it anymore, that she feels like a prisoner and she can't be herself! Why? Because I don't trust her anymore?! And when i look at her now, all i see is him and what she did! I feel she created this mess, and now she doesn't want to deal with the consequences. She didn't only cheat me..but also our children! Am i wrong?

 
Saturday, October 10, 2015 8:08 AM
GuestJB

Guess I'm just asking if I should continue to try to make things work, or just walk away? Any suggestions?

 
Monday, October 12, 2015 6:52 PM
Guest

You are living in the past. But I'm sure it's because you aren't over the pain of what happened yet. You are living in trauma, reliving the cheating over and over again. You probably haven't been raised with the tools you need to deal with such a big amount of pain. 

Even if you could stop today, punishing her for the past, would it really save your relationship? 

 It's more than your actions that create the relationship, it's hers as well. It doesn't seem like she has figured out why she cheated and the emotional pain that caused her to gamble her life and family . It also doesn't seem like she is willing to figure that out. 

Whatever caused her to cheat, if not worked on, will probably repeat. If she is hungry for approval and attention can't find out why, she will still be hungry. It may be easier for her to place blame on you, saying you live in the past I can't do this. But it seems like both of you aren't fully willing to let go in order to heal together. It also seems that you could learn alot more about her patterns of behavior and your own. Why you continue to choose someone who acts before she thinks ?

Therapy or alternative healing would help you understand alot more about WHY people do what they do. it may help you forgive her and understand what lead her to that path.understanding brings alot of different change and healing.  Punishment will not help her see it , as you have seen already. Understanding and having compassion for her, will give her chance to be remorseful.  I'm sure she's not proud of the 'ugly' fling. But she felt wanted, desired and it filled a void for her in that moment. Therapy can help figure out what is that void and what are the triggers? What can you do to help her heal this process? 

Or if that all sounds to hard and too much work, or she won't keep her end up , then you could give up. But you need therapy so your not choosing more gems like that one. Good luck only you can choose your own actions 

 
Tuesday, October 13, 2015 7:08 PM
Guesttb

I've been through that my husband cheated on me when I was pregnant with our second child. He treated me so bad. And not a day goes by where I don't forget how he treated me and my daughters. It will forever be there. And to be honest it is your choice no one can tell you what the right choice is. 

 

Post Comment

* - Required Fields

Hot Stories

Wednesday, November 30, 2016 10:46 PM by Guest
 
logo
Views
4020
Comments
3
I was content being the "good wife". I had always been a very sexual person but once I married I knew I had to stop that. I was even ok with the idea because I was so in love with my husband. Till it all changed one night when everyone was asleep. I saw my husbands phone on the table and decided to just take a quick look. Omg I would never have imagined all the things I would find. He was talking..
Wednesday, November 30, 2016 3:33 PM by Brian
 
logo
Views
1849
Comments
0
I worked from my home office for an overseas company so my workday started very early and thus ended early.  I used to take my mail to this wine bar where I'd go through it.  There were mostly young women there so that was my error.  Knowing I was in a place frequented by many women and few men.  I started taking a book and sat at the bar and read.  One day a woman in her early 30's began working..
Tuesday, November 29, 2016 8:55 PM by Akipple
 
logo
Views
3369
Comments
6
So I'm a young adult and I've been in a long term relationship with X.  When we first started dating, it was surreal.  I believed we were soul mates then and I always put his feelings first.  It was intense, romantic and adventurous to be with him but he had his flaws.  Because I loved him, I used to completely ignore some of the most dire red flags in his personality.  He had an aggressive, ultr..
Expert's opinion is limited to the information presented, and is to help you consider options; it is not and cannot take the place of a counseling session. By reading this, you agree that none of the experts offering information are liable for actions you or others take. If you feel that counseling could be helpful, please look up counselors available in your area.
Copyright 2016 Story of Cheating All Rights Reserved. Contact Us