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Shocked

My girlfriend cheated on me

Monday, August 29, 2016 12:35 PM by Green Rating: +13|-9

Ok so, i realized I made some mistakes. Like actually going through with my marriage after finding out she cheated on me. So here is my story. I met her and we dated, got engaged after a year. Now we had talked about things that were deal breakers, I had made it clear that I was always going to be faithful and if she wasn't then that would be a deal breaker for me. So we moved in together and things like all relationships had their ups and downs. She was off work a lot and I supported both of us. So we keep going for another 3 years for a total of 5 years together. Well we were still not married by that point but we had bought a house and she was getting ready for a bodybuilding competition. So we had also set a date and we were getting married in 4 months time. It is the day before the anniversary of the day we met. I come home and she told me to sit down. So I do and I could tell something was up. She had cheated on me with her boss. She broke down and told me how bad she felt. On and on right. Well the affair had gone on for a while before they actually had sex. The week before the smug ass shook my hand and basically seemed like a honest fellow. As my then girlfriend gave me more details I grew more upset. Like it happened once and she told me that day. Then she told me that they didn't use a condom, i exploded and explained yes he may have said he was snipped but how much do you trust someone thst would cheat on his own wife (dude was married and had a history of cheating). I made her get tested for everything, I did try to forgive her. I did have a soft spot for her. We got married and then she changed. She stopped being affectionate and now after year, we have not had sex since a month after the wedding. I am finding that she is texting guys again under the guise of personal training for another show. They are coming onto her and while she does mention she is married she doesn't act like it. I am not sure how to find out what she is up to. I don't trust her at all at this point. 

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Tuesday, August 30, 2016 1:06 AM
ALF

Yes Green, astronomical mistake marrying her.  You didn't stick to your deal breakers, now she thinks you'll be flexible from now on.  In her mind there's no reason to be faithful.  Install key loggers on your computers at home.  Get a GPS unit to put on her car.  If you have access, get copies of her phone records, that will be a biggie.  And put a recorder on your landline, if you have one.  You'll have your answers quick enough.  You can try to confront her directly, but she's going to flat out lie to you.

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 2:04 AM
Guest

Seriously what's wrong with you? Why the hell would you marry a cheater when she's gonna keep doing it again & again!!! Remember once a cheater always a cheater!!!!! I know someone who has been through the same situation as you. Do yourself a favor,  just leave her lying cheating ass & find someone else more better & faithful. You just wasted your time DUDE! 👎

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 10:51 AM
Albert

Don't say anything.  Start digging. Get a VAR and put it in your car. Install a key logged on her computer. If you confront to early you will drive the affair further underground 

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 1:16 PM
Bravo

Well the quickest answer is to just leave. You had a deal-breaker, she broke the deal, and now might be doing it again. So why stay in the broken deal?

I understand the 'why'. If you just leave without proof, she can just tell everyone that she never did anything, you just left, and must be jealous and paranoid, right? But think - does that matter? In 5, 10 years when you're off and happy in your new life with an honest person, why do you care what she thinks or says at this point?

The issue here is that she knows you have no real hard-line, so she'll stretch boundaries and limits till they break, knowing that even if you had hard-proof - well, you stayed last time. 

She gets points for actually telling you the first time - but think again: Was she telling you so close to your wedding as a way to get out, without having to be the one to call it off? She tells you she cheated, you call off the wedding, and SHE doesn't have to DO anyting? 

Maybe the same thing is happening now. She won't actually be brave enough to be the one who calls off the marriage, but she'll mess around on the side enough for you to do it.

One thing you have to consider: When people tell you, either directly or indirectly, that they don't want to be with you, why don't you listen to them?

Screw pride. Stand up for yourself.

Now, if you really do need that proof, do as the above poster said and log everything. Keep happy, keep quiet, don't set her alerts off. Just wait until you have your smoking gun.

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 2:57 PM
Guest

Hire a private investigator. If she is fucking these men, then she must leave the house to do that. The PI can rake videos and other evidence of what she does while gone from home.

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 6:06 PM
Guest

I have been cheated on too in the past and I know how you feel and trust me she's not going to change. She's not worth your time and pain. The world is full of faithful beautiful women.  Drop her sorry *ss and look for someone appreciate you..

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 6:22 PM
Guest

She told you she cheated because she wanted you to dump her. You didn't take the hint now you have a bigger mess to clean up. Still, you did not mention any kids YET. Stop fucking her, file for divorce and count your blessings that you are not tied to the slut for the rest of your life through children! She is a terrible wife and will be a horrible mother! You don't want to watch her destroy your children and break their hearts! RUN!

 
Friday, September 2, 2016 4:37 AM
Guest

I'm sorry to read your story. However, it is identical to mine. Unfortunately, my nightmare lasted 12 years of my life! But I'm a woman. My husband was a bodybuilder too. He cheated for an entire year while we were dating... I didn't find out til later. He convinced me he was trustworthy again and it was a big mistake but his ex wouldn't let him go. I forgave him. We ended up marrying... therit was e were red flags I ignored. He would withhold affection and sex for long periods of time and refused counseling. A man contacted me and said his wife and my husband may be having an affair a couple months after we were married. He did not have any proof but said he did know they were messaging and she bought him a very expensive leather belt. I confronted my husband and he blamed the woman for flirting with him and buying him a belt, but he assured me it was nothing more. I continued to trust him. The last 3 years of my marriage, he became more withdrawn... refusing affection and sex. I found out last October he was having an affair for at least a year with a very homely mother of four young children. In addition, she was bankrupt

I hired a lawyer immediately and started my own counseling. I then purchased a home and moved to another state. I am enjoying life so much now without his control and misery! My advice... GET OUT NOW! These people will suck the life from you. My husband was a narcissist... somatic. Read up on it as I bet your bodybuilding wife is too. They don't stop sleeping around, or lying. They need constant reassurance and attention via their bodies.

Spare yourself more years! Good luck!

 
Saturday, September 3, 2016 4:38 AM
Guest

How can you marry her? I hate that she cheated on an honest guy like you.

 
Thursday, September 15, 2016 5:15 PM
Guest

Divorce her, it's not worth it. She's obviously hanging with other guys while you're paying the bills.

 

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