Saturday, June 4, 2016 11:44 AM by Lonely Husband
I came home unannounced only to find my wife with another man. When checking their phones the truth was out since they were not confessing. She was calling him home on a daily basis after i left to work. The affair lasted for more than 2 years and i had no clue and no signs about it. He happened to be her colleague. He had resigned from the job a year back but their relation was still on. I was shocked when i opened the door. Never in my worst nightmare did i think that this would happen to me. I felt so sick in my stomach.
We have been married for 7yrs, together for 8yrs. She had no remorse or gulit, no sorry feeling, no tears when i caught them. She left me with nothing not even a proper confession. We have 3 beautiful children, 2 boys and a girl. I had her leave my house along with the kids. Since i work early hours and couldnt take care of the kids. Later i found out that the last child - 1.4yrs did not belong to me but to her affair. Her entire office, friends and community came to light of her affair and doings. She went to stay at her parents place. Even they accepted the fact what she had done and have accepted her and the kids. I guess i didnt read the signs and trusted her blindly. I thought she was a good girl !
We didnt see each other or speak over the phone. It had been a little over 2 months. I gave it time and space. I was truly shattered. Couldnt sleep or eat properly for weeks. I finally broke down. I wanted to see if there was any love in her for me. Ended up meeting her and stated my feelings towards her. The most idiotic thing i've ever done in my life. Killed my self-respect, kept my ego aside and did this. Told her that i had forgiven her and wanted to forget this incident and move on with her and the kids to another state and start over. She denied stating it was over and the love for me that she had was dead. She is not letting me see my kids as well as she wants to distance them from me. She states that the kids dont even remember me anymore. They are 7 & 6 yrs old. Turns out to be a true fact, the kids have been brain washed and did not even want to see me when they accidently seen me on the street after grocery shopping. My wife tells me that the entire 7 years, she was unhappy with me. She said i was her biggest mistake.
I have given this women, my heart and my soul. I truley belonged to her. Gifted her the best i could with diamond on her birthday. Expensive dresses all the time. Took her out on dates weekly. Made her birthday big every year. Allways made her feel special and wanted. I did everything as a husband. I was a good husband as well as a very loving and caring father. I have never cheated her this entire time as i have taken my wedding vows seriously. There were women during these 7 years i stayed married who wanted to have a relation with me but i denied stating that i am a happy father and a very lucky husband. Later as time passed by, i found out that their relation had turned out way stronger than before. They were on calls on a daily basis for more than 2 hrs. Met each other as the opportunity arises. It was all over for me. I was no longer there to stand in their way. The mishap that had happened had cleared their way and now they could see their future together. Just for the readers info, i also found out that her affair was a married man and a father to a daughter as well. But they didnt know anthing about this as they stayed back in his hometown with his parents in another country.
I called her and demanded that we mutually divorce each other in the court and stop this acting business. I told her i knew everything and there was nothing more to see or get hurt with. I had become rock hard in my heart and mind. She kept delaying me on this for over 3 weeks. I had no further option but to hire a lawyer and do the needful in the court. My friends and family accompanied me to have the marriage annuled in the church as well. It been less than 5 months for this ordeal and it soon shall be over.
I dont know how long i'll stay stong. I need to get out from this state of mind and start fresh somewhere. Every time i get some new evidence of her cheating on me in my house i get upset and feel really very sad. I go into hardcore depression mode. Every restaurant, every club, every happening joint i have been, with this women. Every shopping mall, movie theatre, parks, i've been with the kids and her. I dont think i can do this for long. Thought of giving up on myself, on life itself but remembered my parents, my nephews and didn't do it. I guess i didnt have the courage. I guess God gives battles to his strongest soldiers. Am i making the right moves. I love this women, she was my life, my everything, my world. My kids were mine, i was tutoring them to be honest and trust worthy kids. I had brought them up with discipline.
Therapy, Counselling sessions and Prayer meetings have helped me and kept me going and alive. I know i cannot trust her anymore with anything. Everyword she says is a lie to me now. I guess it better to let her go away never to think about her again. But the kids ? I really don't know how to move on. I don't know how to ever trust a women again. I dont know if i'll ever be able to fall in love again and have a life and a happy family someday.
I truley don't know how this is going to end for me ..
As good samaritans kindly advise me what i can do to help myself ...