I really need some advise without being judged because my guilt is turning into depression and I really don't know what to do at this point.I cheated on my husband with our neighbor.
It all stems from a few months ago when my husband and I were fighting all the time over the fact that he was neglecting me and our son (11).
He was jobless at the time because he got fired from his last job.
Then the only things he was doing was hanging out with his friends,drinking beer,spending countless times on his phone and so on.
He would get home drunk at very late hours sometimes and would wake us up and he even hit me a couple of times.
I tried talking to him many times,even started looking for a job for him because he wasn't even bothered to do that when he clearly should have instead of doing what he was doing.
One night I went out on the balcony to smoke and just ponder my life and everything so my neighbor just happened to be on his balcony as well.
We greeted each other and eventually indulged in a nice conversation.
At one point he was complaining about how noisy my husband and I were but then he said he was joking.
He was/is 24(11 years younger than me and 16 years younger than my husband).That night just before we were both going to go back inside he complimented me.
He said I looked sexy.At that time my heart was melting and obviously I was very well surprised.He was/is a very handsome gentleman.It was the first time I'd been complimented in a long time because all I'd been getting lately were insults and accusations courtesy of my husband.
It all happened the following day.After I took the kid to daycare he met me again,this time at my door.
I was carrying some bags so he offered to help me.I said there was no need but he still helped me.He didn't waste any time complimenting me again.We ended up kissing and I honestly tried turning him down but there was a spark so none of us could resist the temptation.
We didn't have sex because I told him my husband could have gotten home earlier so instead he ate me out and then I gave him a blowjob.
He came in my mouth and when he ate me out I had an orgasm-something I hadn't had in a long time for obvious reasons.
Ever since that day I've been feeling guilty.Now my husband has a new job and I've been avoiding our neighbor and he's not a jerk he won't tell my husband but I still feel guilty because I know I'm not a slut.
I don't know what I was thinking and quite frankly as bad as my husband was he was always faithful.Should I tell him or should I not?