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Should I confess to my husband or not?

I cheated on my husband

Monday, December 7, 2015 4:59 AM by Guest Rating: +81|-46

I really need some advise without being judged because my guilt is turning into depression and I really don't know what to do at this point.I cheated on my husband with our neighbor.

It all stems from a few months ago when my husband and I were fighting all the time over the fact that he was neglecting me and our son (11).

He was jobless at the time because he got fired from his last job.

Then the only things he was doing was hanging out with his friends,drinking beer,spending countless times on his phone and so on.

He would get home drunk at very late hours sometimes and would wake us up and he even hit me a couple of times.

I tried talking to him many times,even started looking for a job for him because he wasn't even bothered to do that when he clearly should have instead of doing what he was doing.

One night I went out on the balcony to smoke and just ponder my life and everything so my neighbor just happened to be on his balcony as well.

We greeted each other and eventually indulged in a nice conversation.

At one point he was complaining about how noisy my husband and I were but then he said he was joking.

He was/is 24(11 years younger than me and 16 years younger than my husband).That night just before we were both going to go back inside he complimented me.

He said I looked sexy.At that time my heart was melting and obviously I was very well surprised.He was/is a very handsome gentleman.It was the first time I'd been complimented in a long time because all I'd been getting lately were insults and accusations courtesy of my husband.

It all happened the following day.After I took the kid to daycare he met me again,this time at my door.

I was carrying some bags so he offered to help me.I said there was no need but he still helped me.He didn't waste any time complimenting me again.We ended up kissing and I honestly tried turning him down but there was a spark so none of us could resist the temptation.

We didn't have sex because I told him my husband could have gotten home earlier so instead he ate me out and then I gave him a blowjob.

He came in my mouth and when he ate me out I had an orgasm-something I hadn't had in a long time for obvious reasons.

Ever since that day I've been feeling guilty.Now my husband has a new job and I've been avoiding our neighbor and he's not a jerk he won't tell my husband but I still feel guilty because I know I'm not a slut.

I don't know what I was thinking and quite frankly as bad as my husband was he was always faithful.Should I tell him or should I not?

Tags: Blowjob; Neighbor; Orgasm;

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Monday, December 7, 2015 6:40 AM
I'm fair

keep it a secret. You were in need and your husband wasn't fulfilling those needs. Do your best to regain a normal relationship with the neighbor so hubby isn't suspicious. Hopefully things will go back to normal for your marriage, but if not you know where the neighbor lives

 
Monday, December 7, 2015 11:16 AM
Guest

You've teetered right on that fine line of deserving more from a man who wasn't being the best husband to a cheating wife who stepped over the line. Ordinarily I side with the one who was cheated on but I would give you a pass this and only this time and say not tell him and never do it again....and oh by the way, make sure you let your hubby cum in your mouth next time too.

 
Monday, December 7, 2015 11:34 AM
Guest

You will shoot yourself in the foot. Keep your mouth shut and just wave hi to the neighbor. I would consider moving too if it could be arranged.

 
Monday, December 7, 2015 5:46 PM
Guest

It's kinda funny. "I'm not a slut" looool. You're a huge slut and this is why I don't date entitled westerners. Fucking married women is hot though. Just keep fucking the neighbour you know you love it and you're a whore, give in to your desires. 

 
Tuesday, December 8, 2015 6:46 AM
Guest

You cheating piece of shit. You deserve nothing if you don't say anything.

 
Tuesday, December 8, 2015 12:20 PM
Guest

My wife never smoked inside our home or when we were together as smoke really bothers me.  Like the young lady above my wife often went out on the patio for her evening smoke...we were living in a condo with a common back yard...each unit had a mostly private fence around their patio.  And like in the story, so it turns out, my wife and not just one but three single college students living next to us struck up a conversation.  And my wife confided after two weeks of strange behavior on her part when she finally confessed to three four things:  1) she let one of the boys go down on her bringing her to as she called it a "shattering orgasm"; 2) she went down on him not once but twice each time swallowing his sperm - something she never would do with me and she was very sorry for as she said she felt she had been missing out on something she thought she'd never enjoy;  3) she told me she wanted this young man to not only fuck her but she wanted me to know and give her permission to be fucked by him (my wife was then 49 years old while I was 54)...which after continued discussion I finally granted her permission to let him fuck her "bareback" and after they had actually had intercourse 4) she wanted to be "gang-fucked" by all of the men in the next-door unit.  I figured one she was unfaithful it didn't matter who or how many men had intercourse with her. 

This went on for almost 7 months with my wife either fucking/fucked by one or more or all of the college boys until one evening during our regular after-work cocktail hour my wife announced she was pregnant...at now 48 years of age.

We decided she would carry the baby to full-term and during her pregnancy her libido only increased and I never saw my wife but what she was carrying someone elses sperm in her ass, vagina and/or stomach.

On Thanksgiving Day my wife went into labor and she delivered a healthy baby boy...a very, very BLACK baby boy for one of the guys next to us (I had only met the one who had intercourse with my wife initially) and it was this black man's sperm who won out in my wife's womb.

That was six years ago.  Today my wife and I are no longer together for she has fallen in love with her black lover/father of her son and now lives with ALL of them...and, I am told, still fucks all of them, and in fact when she had her 53 birthday discovered she was pregnant again.

I divorced my wife with a judge agreeing I would not be responsible for child support or alimony.

My suggestion to your problem?  Simply if you've enjoyed the urge and have been sexually satisfied as well as mentall and morally satisfied, who should tell you to stop.  However, what are YOUR risks, i.e., pregnancy, STD, etc., as well as financial security short and long-term.

 
Wednesday, December 9, 2015 9:17 PM
Guest

AND EVEN IF THIS IS TRUE YOU REALLY BELIEVE YOU ARE ENTITLED TO GIVE ADVICE - JESUS THEY LIVE AMONG US WHO COULD BELIVE IT

 
Friday, December 11, 2015 8:16 AM
Guest

You talked about a lot of the things you did not like about your husband but you never said what it was that you liked about him. To me this says your mind is already made up but you came here to get shamed because of the guilt you feel. There is no shame in following your heart, as long as you do not keep it secret. You will not be able to walk away from this silently because your heart decided you were out before your head did. 

 

Next time look before you leap, but Congrats because you are only human

 

 

 

 
Tuesday, December 22, 2015 10:20 AM
Guest

Don't listen to these fools who call you a slut. You were emotionally and at least once physically abused. Affairs may not be ethically right but that is a long way from what you endured. I recommend not telling him about it if you want to keep your marriage together. You sound like a good person who has had some hard luck. Take care of yourself, you deserve it.

 
Monday, December 28, 2015 2:02 AM
Guest

This is why I will never get married. Wedding vow mean nothing anymore," For better or worse, sickness and health, till death do us part" is now "until things get tough, then run for the hills".

 
Wednesday, December 30, 2015 2:44 PM
Guest

First this isn't a judgment but you are a slut. That's just the cold hard truth. Secondly, yes you need to tell your husband because let's face it it's going to come out eventually. You're depressed and feeling guilty as you should, and that isn't going to just go away its going to get worse until eventually you can't function as a normal couple. Thirdly you need to leave your husband. If he put hands on you then he will again, anytime things get hard. Get out now and get your life together for your son. Your whole purpose in life is to raise and protect your son so stop crying about your personal life choices. When you tell your husband the truth do it in a public setting, at dinner or something because you can't predict how he is going to take that. He doesn't need the details just the fact you cheated, and don't apologize. You're not sorry for cheating you're sorry because you feel guilty. Let him hate you for it and he'll get over it easier if he thinks you're sorry he might cling on to hope so don't do that to him.

 
Wednesday, December 30, 2015 7:47 PM
Love

Don't tell your husband if he is abusive, pray for forgiveness and believe  you have been for giving.  God gives second chances, yes you messed up and the reason you feel guilty is because of the vow u made so ask God forgiveness and start fresh, be faithful in your marriage. I'm in a similar relationship,  I felt like you but I can't give in to temptation  for fear of what you are going through. Confess your sins to God and only he can make it better, we are all human that's why he is there to pick us up when we fall and he don't hold our sins against us once we Confess our sins to him and ask for forgiveness.

 
Thursday, December 31, 2015 1:28 AM
Angel

OK to the fake Christian above  me. No she made a mistake and needs to go to her husband. Yes Jesus forgive but it also say' to confess your sin to one another james 5:16. so that you made be heal. If she cheated there is a deeper issue they both need to work on. If your getting beat call 911 and move on two wrong don't  make a right.  Your guilt  will only get worst. confess to him.

 
Sunday, January 10, 2016 12:29 AM
Guest

I understand how things like this happen. I have been married for quite a while. My husband has been unemployed for 7 years do to shear laziness. He's gotten fat. I don't find him sexually attractive. I do love him, but it's more like a friend kind of love than a romantic love. He has never bought me a Christmas, Birthday, anniversary, valentine's, or mother's day gift in all of our 20 years together. He's become comfortable. He stays up all night watching TV or playing video games. He sleeps all day in his recliner. He does absolutely nothing but take up space. We have sex and that's all we do together. My husband prefers oral sex over penetration. I enjoy it as well when I am receiving it. I used to enjoy giving it, but as he has gotten so fat, he doesn't get himself very clean in that area. He has a terrible odor and I gag from the smell. I had lunch with a friend not long ago and he told me how much he missed me and how attracted to me he was. We're both married. He has issues in his marriage as well. He's filed for a divorce 2 times, but not followed thru. Anyway, our lunch turned into going for a drive and talking. We ended up at the lake and made out. I gave him a blow job and he fingered me. I would have let him eat me out like he wanted to, but we were in a car in a public area. Much easier for him to put his stuff back in his pants then it would have been for me. I don't feel guilty at all for what happened. In fact, I would love to do it again somewhere where we can both be orally satisfied. I do not recommend telling your husband. All its going to do is hurt him terribly. It will most likely end badly for you. If you truly are not going to see the neighbor again then keep it to yourself and chock it up to a one time accident,mistake, or involuntary action. If it's going to become a habit, then get out of your marriage. I am consider leaving my marriage because I don't want to be a cheater. I do want love, happiness, and oral sex without the odor and gagging and with someone I am sexually attracted to. 

 
Sunday, January 17, 2016 5:17 AM
Guest

As a husband that was cheated on (I caught my wife in the act with my friend)  and as a man who is still trying to resolve my feelings,  the what's and the whys,  I can honestly say IF your story is unbiased and it all went down as you say then don't tell him. The guilt is your burden to carry,  not his. Now he needs to step up as a man, not lay a hand on you and you booth need to work toward reconnecting. 

Sometimes you need to tear things down to build something better. 

 
Sunday, January 17, 2016 6:28 AM
Guest

Wtf. That was a moment where your husband was down. It was your job to help him since u guys were in a relationship. Tell him or else youll get eaten from the inside from how you were slutting around. Imagine ur husband dping yhid to u. How would you feel. Exactly...

 

 
Monday, February 15, 2016 12:44 AM
Guest

Your husband has hit you. You should feel no guilt. He's abusive. You should get out. 

 
Thursday, March 3, 2016 2:31 PM
Guest

Honestly don't tell his sorry ass a damn thing I've been cheating sneaking out to our neighbors since October ZERO guilt call me a slut whore etc I get and give what he and I need by morning im the good wife it all balances out #monogomyisdead :)5

 
Monday, March 14, 2016 2:58 PM
Guest

What a bunch of judgemental fucking assholes! SAY NOTHING! Let it be your fond memory. Let it be the smile on your face your husband doesn't understand. You did nothing wrong, he wasn't doing his job! Women are not belongings to be used at will by a man. Stay strong, and if you're still unfulfilled, go to it again! Right on Sister!

 
Tuesday, May 3, 2016 10:15 PM
Guest

U fucking cum slut...ur a whore...

 

 
Saturday, May 21, 2016 7:43 PM
Guest

First you should turn your husband into the police for abusing you. Hopefully he spends the rest of his life in jail.

Second, it's your body, not his. You can do what you want. If he doesn't like, that's his problem. He doesn't own you.

 
Saturday, June 11, 2016 11:21 AM
Guest

Really..you bitches condone what this woman did but if it were a guy saying he was emotionally unattached and had a nagging abusive wife you would all tell him that he was a jerk for cheating.  How he should tell his wife because "she has a right to know" and that her bitchiness was partly his fault. That he should let her divorve him and take half of his stuff along with alimony. Hipacritcal. .. Always a double standard and you know what? If I cheat I will never tell my wife because feeling guilty is much better then getting caught

 
Saturday, June 25, 2016 1:03 AM
Michael

 if I was u I'll keep my mouth shut and enjoy life,shit I'll do it again then I'll fall back from the guy next door it's OK to have fun just don't involve filling 

 
Wednesday, June 29, 2016 9:08 AM
Guest

 My story is a little different, but i need some advices. My married neighbor took advantage of me. It started as normal as can be. We both live in the same building. I live in the building for 39 years and he 23 years. We never spoken to each other until 4 years ago. I was telling a joke to my other neighbors and there he was laughing. I introduced myself and we hang out some time. I didnt see it as a problem because i kind know his wife and i went to high school with his sis-in-law. I have no idea what he has in mind until it happened. He assasulted me. When it was over i was shocked and at that moment i could walk away and take it as misunderstanding. All i wanted from him is a blood test..he would not take the test. For the next 20 months i learned alot from him. He is a chronic liar and a cheater. He sleeps with many women and have oral sex with them. I didnt know whether that the true until on Dec 18 he came to my home and threaten me. At that moment i started talking to my other neighbors which they told me its been going on for years he cheats on his wife. In the end he made me one of his many women he slept with...On Feb 21 i told his wife. She calls me a liar and everything in the book. 7 weeks later a police called and said they wanted to (talk) to me. 2 question later i was arrested for aggravant hassasment which later was dismissed. U see, 2 months ago i sent him a letter, he thought he use that to press charges against me but it backfirse. He was force to tell his wife and the police he cheats thoughout the marriage afffairs, one night stand and what he did to me...in the end i have the last words...Do i regret telling his wife...NO!!! First, i wanted to put him and every man like him in his place. Second i wanted to hurt him and if it means going through his wife, i will....i have to think of myself...To think half of my neighbors knew his cheating ways....i wish i knew...His wife still with him. She knows his cheating ways but i dont think she knows abouut a woman named Cecilia, whom her husband is taking care of for the past 9 years..i wish could tell his wife...but the wife need to figure that out herself but then again the wife been married to this dog for 17 years but together 23 year. If she cant figure that out before, she will never.....i always wonder what makes a wife stay with a cheating husband...million question. They dont have children....nothing. Thanks for listening everyone...

 
Sunday, July 17, 2016 5:03 AM
Guest

 Filthy  slut , how would you feel if   he was the 1 that did that to you ?  You need to be stoned  to death ... 

 

 
Thursday, July 21, 2016 2:35 AM
ALF

An interesting tale.  If things were truly bad in your relationship, to include physical abuse, why did you not consider leaving your husband to get yourself and your child out of that situation?  Instead, you incorporate an entirely new problem into the relationship.  One that you own 100% since he has no knowledge of it.  The loss of a job is a very stressful situation for a man, especially when he has a family to support.  Did you every stop to consider that the time he was spending on the phone was to pursue job leads?  He did get himself another job, didn't he?  I in no way condone his conduct of being physically abusive, but if you found his conduct was offensive or dangerous,  you should have gotten yourself and your son away from the situation.  You could have then addressed the situation through counseling if you truly wanted to stay with you husband, or through legal channels if you wanted to leave.  Instead, your answer was to have a fling with your neighbor.  You say you feel guilty now, but for folk like you that will pass in time.  You will choose to live a lie and feel like you have gotten away with something, but where fidelity is concerned your husband will always have the moral high ground.

 
Sunday, July 31, 2016 7:09 AM
Guest

I sat in amazement across the table just staring at this lady I had just met face to face do the first time in our 9 month working only relationship. We were strategizing for a very important business presentation the next day in Seattle. She asked me a few seemingly non plus questions about my wife and our marriage.  Then after a bite of food very calmly told me.  

" your wife is having an affair.  For sure emotional but I would believe very sexual "

what at I said.  How the hell can you tell me this?  She proceeded to explain her background and knowledge of both sides of the affair psychology.  In sorry. But you've lost her to someone.  All the stresses of your job loss and the hardships you've been going through she just needed someone who made her feel good feel sexy feel hopeful.   

I say dumbfounded.  No damn way.  

Ok have you asked her if somethings going on ? Yes 

she got all defensive not crying but Since has she tried to reach out to you for sex and love?  No.  Actually I feel like I'm a chore.  

Well because you probably are.  And so is hiding it from your kids.   What changes have you noticed.   

Shes lost  weight looks really great. Dresses nicer, wears perfume, always tired and stepping by 10pm.,  comes home 30 min late or so each night after work and wants to shower.  

Have you tried to engage he as she walks in? Yes.  And ? She gets upset. " I need to unwind I need some space ". 

Buddy she is having an affair.  I'm sorry.  Do you plan massages and things ? Yes I love to massage her , be her groomer.  But lately even after grooming she says thanks and rolls away to do other things. No affection.  I think she sneaks out in the middle of the night.   But when I caught her last time she said she was taking the garbage out we had forgotten and told me I was crazy and paranoid.  It's those times that make me crazy.  You don't trust me.  

Can can we talk? No we have nothing to discuss. Oh ok so if I want to feel more clear on us that's nothing? No but it's dumb. There is nothing.  I've tried over and over.  She isn't interested.  It's like m a cook  and a janitor and a pounding board for mean thoughts.  I'm a roommate.   If I didn't have two kids I'd leave.  

Im losing my mind. Any thoughts I appreciate. 

 
Thursday, August 18, 2016 9:37 AM
Guest

Be quiet and don't suck no more dick but your husband. 

If he has already shown signs of a strong pimp hand by smacking you,he may beat your ass to death if you tell him. 

Leave if you ain't happy. I have never hit a  woman for leaving but damn sure would smack them in their dick sucker if they cheated down on their fuckin knees for some guy. 

 
Monday, September 19, 2016 2:32 PM
Guest

... cheating whore. And girls wonder why guys are such man whores, they do this shit to you. Die in a hole you hoe

 

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