Friday, May 27, 2016 9:51 PM by Guest
I have been with my live in boyfriend for two years. Im 45 years old and hes 37. I have been thru not to happy moments and a lot of good times with him. Hea a very hard worker and a good provider he loves to ne happy.In the beginning i trusted him, but when he does things to make me not trust him in front of my face he denies it. Sometime i think its because i have a hard time trusting him because of my last realationships but i cant ignore the disrespectfull things he does. Please please tell me if im exaggerating . In our first year we where happybi i was sooooo in love with him and i thought he was to because of everything he had done to make me happy. At the end of our first year he would say he loves me then one day i asked him if he really does love me he answered you know i do. He had a look in his eyes that made me dought he did. So i did what i should of not done to get the truth. But i needed to know. I started recording his cell phone calls, most of his callswere to his brother. He told him that i want to get married but he keeps telling me not now but hes eventually going to say ok to me for convenience, but hes not sure about marriage becase he likes women one another and another all types because they exite him alot( i also heard him tell his mom the same thing about liking women). I guess i stayed with him cuz he was drunk when he said these things. He likes to drink in the weekends. I feel like a damb fool cuz even him being drunk come the next morning he knows what he said then he denies it, i have him listen to the recording and he says i know its my voice but i dont remember saying those things. One serious thing he said to on the phone recording with his brother was that he finds my 22 year old daughter tattractive and he might merry her and not me .His drinking is also a problem he is completely diffrent he gets aggressive rude and disrespectfull. When he does not drink all week he is a sweet heart he asks if i need enything, we cook togethet, we go out together. All his good side i love but his bad side over rides the good. Another think i find very fucken disrespectfull is when we go to the grocery store he'll literally followes women amd discretely almost taps they're ass with the grocery cart, then he'll denie it. I have always cared about other people needs,wants and feeling's more then my happiness. Thats why i was so heartbroken and numb. Cuz i put alot of love,care and attention into this relationship. I think thats why i have not broke up with him (we ate living together now) i feel sorry for him that hes going to mis me,his 3 pets, living with me and hes going to drink more and be alone. We lived seperated but still girlfriend and boyfriend for a month he begged,cried and stoped drinking for a while . In that month i felt so unhappy,lied to and unwanted, so i messed up and cheated on him with his bestfriend. His bf has been trying to get my attention for a while now. He knows how my boyfriend treats me hes done it in front of him and himself would tell him you better stop treating wrong but my boyfriend will walk away and the next day still say he dont remember doing or saying somthing wtong. Im a soft hearted person i feel so fkn weak somtimes that i cant find it in my heart to leave him. I feel like i faid myself,my daughter and my happiness.