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Shouldbi leave?

I cheated on my husband

Thursday, September 8, 2016 1:18 AM by LostInThought Rating: +45|-25

I have been cheating on my husband for a couple months now, usually just one night stands. And if its convenient multiple times with the same guy. I have no clue what made me start cheating, i just went to get a drink one weekend.... And ever since i have this craving....I think i want a divorce but is that the right way to go? Ivmean if i really loved him would i cheat? Why wouldbi do such terrible things to this man who trusts me completely.....i have recently came in contact with a guy who id rather spend my time with then my husband. I will make up excuses about going to friends houses in order to see this guy.... And it feels good but i know i need to talk to my husband....but i have almost a complete breakdown every time i try. The words just dont come. What to do?

Tags: Divorce;

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Comments

Sunday, September 11, 2016 2:14 PM

ALF

Filel for the divorce. I'm sure will take care of that, if and when you tell him. Might as well beat him to the punch.

Sunday, September 11, 2016 3:21 PM

Guest

Try "I'm cheating on you". Works every time.

Sunday, September 11, 2016 6:09 PM

jsm

Quit drinking and file for divorce.

Monday, September 12, 2016 12:24 AM

LanaH102

Poor man. Fancy having the unfortunate experience of having you as a wife. My haert bleeds for him. Hopefully he finds out quick and see's the back of you quick smart.

Monday, September 12, 2016 1:11 AM

MrAnonymus

Be an adult fess up!

You owe it to him to come out with the truth your inability to say the words is your conscience going into survivor mode, do as in you know your situation is great a loving husband with a secret single life on the side. You body aches for the companionship while your mind aches for security and this other guy although it seems great has not fully convinced you that he is willing to take care of you the way well your husband does. Because if he had you would have made vivid plans and left by now! either way you owe it to him to be honest.

In the meanwhile you need to work out what is missing in you that draws you to these situations of cheating as even if you leave your husband for this other guy what's to say that these feelings don't resurface and leaves you exactly where you are now. Best to look for a solution to your infidelity and yourself as well as letting your husband make an informed decision on whether he should main your circle of madness and adultery.

Just a question but what type of relationship do your parents have? How is your personal relationship with your mom or father?

A lot of things we do as adults stem from our Experiences as children

Monday, September 12, 2016 2:56 AM

Guest

Get a divorce as fast as possible, here are the reasons:

1. You are cheating, therefor you are a cheater.

2. Nobody deserves to be married to a cheater, other than another cheater.

3. The guys you are cheating with are low value men as determined by the fact that they would have sex with a married woman.

4. Hopefully you will wind up with one of these losers, it is what you and the loser both deserve.

5. Your current husband will have a chance at finding a decent wife. Make sure you tell him the details about your cheating, it will actually help him do better next time.

6. Because of your betrayal you will never be trusted by a husband again. In turn, because you have betrayed your vows so easily you will always wonder if your current fuck buddy is loayl or cheating. You have broken trust not just with your husband, but also with yourself. You have betrayed yourself, turned yourself into a cheating slut, and lost your honor that can never be regained.

7. The above are the facts, they are not meant to be mean, it is just the truth. If you are a sociopath then perhaps you will not care about what I have stated. If you have any feelings of care about anyone but yourself, and feelings of connection, empathy to others, then you have fucked yourself harder than your fuck buddies. Life is short, shorter than most people think it is, every moment counts. Whatever you are serching for, you will not find it in a man, or his cock. In fact you will not find it in any other person, period. There are no do-overs, no second chances, this is it and you are failing badly. No man can forgive you, any man that says he can is lying or not a man. You need to find God if you ever want to find forgiveness. Good Luck!

Monday, September 12, 2016 3:31 PM

Fony

Consider that people on this site are mostly shark or pray. It is not alike you will get a neutral answer, we are all involved in our own way.

Based on your story, i find you should tell him what is happening behind his back. Nobody deserves to be played like this. You admit that you prefere to spend your time with some other guy, so i really don't see where you are confused. If you don't value his presence in your life he should know. What is your reason to keep him in this situation? Money i guess. If you were totally indipendent you would have left already, but you need him for a reason or the other.Don't wait to get caught, it may take years, he needs to find someone who actually deserves his trust. Waiting won't make it any easier. If he needs to re-invent his life he needs all the time he can get.

If this is just "the way you are" you might consider next time an open relation with somebody who is willing to share this shit with you.

Monday, September 12, 2016 8:55 PM

Guest

If you have love for him.... Kindly leave the cheating character of yours behind and start the life ahead afresh. Everybody deserves second chance. But kindly say that you happened to cheat on him before. If he loves you, he will surely love you more after knowing that you have changed..... May you live happily forever with your husband and dont fight with him and get divorce. Married life is so beautiful filled love and passion. Best of luck.

Monday, September 12, 2016 9:23 PM

Guest

Hopefully you'll catch a raging case of crabs.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016 4:44 AM

Time to go

Tell you husband the truth.If you really love this guy, divorce him, but dont hurt him

Tuesday, September 13, 2016 8:10 AM

Guest

It is difficult to say what to do. I think it is obvious that you either need to stop your sexual activity outside marriage or end the marriage. Do you want to avoid your husband because you are feeling guilty? That may be why you have found someone else to hang with. You are fooling yourself if you thik ny of these guys care about you. They just want the no strings sex....your husband is the guy who really caes, he married you. So suck it up and tell him you are leaving and the reson why.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016 5:56 PM

Guest

Honestly, after reading this I think you are a very selfish person. You are cheating because you want to feel good, but too scared to say anything. or maybe you're waiting until this other guy seems comitted to you before you reveal how you've betrayed your husband? I dont know which is more selfish, betrayal with a plan for something you think will be better, or betrayal for meaningless fun. One is devious and hateful, but also is understandable because you dont want to be hurt, the second is less hateful and devious, but just as bad, because you are using him for no better reason than to amuse yourself, sure, you dont want to hurt him, but you more so dont want to hurt yourself. either way, you are a coward, and I think you should be open with your husband, figure out what you want, and make a decision to either leave or stay, of course, you might not even have that decision once he finds out. You've made your bed, hurry up and lie in it.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016 7:29 PM

Guest

Here is exacty how you should handle this:

1) DON'T TELL YOUR HUSBAND YOU HAVE EVER CHEATED ON HIM. It will only hurt his feelings, just so that YOU can unburden YOUR soul? Not fair to him - you did it, you live with it, but don't tell him.

2) DO tell him "I'm sorry, but I have changed. Counseling will not work because I simply do not love you enough to be your wife any longer. I want a divorce - a fair, equitable and quick divorce."

Then, proceed to a lawyer - hopefully you can agree on kids, custody, support, and if you're a good woman, you will NOT seek alimony.

Get that divorce, and go forth in your life KNOWING that you are not a monogamous person by nature - make sure your next partner after your cheating partner (who WILL desert you once he knows you're divorcing - he doesn't want you, he wants a married woman who wants to cheat!) knows you may love him and fuck him, but you also reserve the right to fuck other guys and he is free to fuck other girls. Fair is fair, and apparently, there are plenty of people who feel this way these days - it should not be hard for you to find a partner willing to accept a polyamorous relationship.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016 11:14 AM

Guest

ok dont listen to all these judgemental people. I am in similar situation I slept with random people because it felt good at the time and theres issue with me that I needed to deal with. The same goes for you- you need to figure out why you devalue yourself by letting these men have their way with you. Is it because you dont have self respect for yourself? If so why? Did something happen growing up to cause this? Are you unhappy in your life and you needed a release from all responsibility? Get to core of issue and determine if you truly love your husband before you blow up your marriage. He may be part of the problem but once you tell him it doesnt become about you but about him and your marriage. Keep your head up you will get through this.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016 11:23 AM

Guest

Guest above me. Are you still married? How did your situation work out for you?

Wednesday, September 14, 2016 11:47 AM

Guest

Yes, you should leave. You're really screwed up. And the guest 2 above isn't married anymore. She would have said so it she was.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016 1:50 PM

Guest

You mam, are a fucking dirtbag. You don't deserve to be happy. You can't man up and tell your poor husband? No wonder your heart has gotten shattered to pieces and all you good for is a one night stand

Wednesday, September 14, 2016 8:19 PM

Lucasred

You should tell him so he doesn't waste any more of his life on a person such as yourself

Thursday, September 15, 2016 6:52 AM

Guest

I am still married - this situation is ongoing for me and started seeing a psychiatrist to get to root of my issues. I havent told him about what I have done. This is not any easy thing and person who confessed you shouldnt beat yourself up or let others beat you up about it. You confessed on here because you know you did something wrong and was a way of seeking help. You need to continue on that journey for your own safety of meeting strangers due to one could be a psycho or you could catch something from one of them and give to your husband and then he wil find out anyway. Its not easy I fucked two random men on monday and tuesday this week and so I by no means have the answer i just understand what you are going through. We are all looking for a high we cant come down from be it excitement, drugs, alcohol, attention- the sex makes you feel good until its done and you feel used and guilty.

Thursday, September 15, 2016 11:25 AM

The_Female_Whisperer

You are a classic WHORE maam!

Thursday, September 15, 2016 2:30 PM

Guest

Divorce him, you are a cronic cheater. Don't know the real reason why you married your husband and frankly I don't give a damn. Cheater are the lowest on the social ladder above child molesters and murders. Grow some balls and tell your husband so that he can make a informed decision (like being tested for STD and divorcing you) Trust is the underpinning in all relationships and you obviously do not respect the marriage or him and you are lying to him. Sooner or later karma will catch up with you and you'll go through all the classic beging techniques and crying & sobbing but the reality is you cheated with your eyes open. By then, if your husband has enough evidence of your lying deceive ways, he would be hardening his heart against you, seek legal advice and ultimately divorce you. Hopefully he will get everything and you have virtually nothing but a penis of the other person to fall back on. If you are on the verge of a breakdown, that for you to deal with, because I have no sympathy for you.

Friday, December 9, 2016 10:23 PM

Goober

Here's the problem. You're an idiot.

Get a divorce... don't get married again.

Problem solved.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017 9:49 AM

tom

tell him everything and if he wants a divorce then give it but it sounds like you do love your husband and update please

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