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So so so confused and ashamed

I cheated on my husband

Sunday, August 28, 2016 7:09 AM by GuestThe hug lasted lo Rating: +46|-21

I have been marrried for over 17 years. But me and my husband R met in the church many years before we started dating. I am a God fearing woman and have made a life in the church with my husband and family. I have never cheated on my husband and when I have had thoughts, put them out of my mind by thinking of what the Lord would have me do. I say all this to make it known that I have been a good wife, mother and soldier for the Lord. But I am so so so so so ashamed at what I have done and what I continue to do now. I am writing this to hopefuly bring me back to reality and let me tell the world of the reckage I am causing and the hurt I may give to my loving devoted husband. He is a good man who deserves so much better than what I have laid at his feet now. I commited the sin of adulttry with a man in my church. I did not go out of my way to commit adultry , I did not seek this man out nor I beleive he sought me out. We were placed on a committee for our church.  My husband developed type 2 diabeties a few years ago, and the medication he uses has affected his sexual drive and energy. We had a wonderful full sex life , he completly satisfied me in every way until he began taking the medication. But I never waivered or sought out another man, I have been devoted to myy husband. The end of my devotion began quite innocent, The man on the committee with me lost his baby sister to a drunken driver, He was distruaght so I would try to cheer him up and be supportive during this time. One evening after our meeting we satyed around to go over some programs for an upcoming event, as we were leaving, he gave me a hug as usual. But this time it was diffeent , when he hugged me, all of the neglect as well as his smell, the tight hug, I had a twitch in my lower region. The hug lasted longer and longer, I felt him move his face down to mine and we kissed. We kissed soft at first then more passionatly. I felt the hardness of him on my stomach and knew I wanted him. I wanted this man with all of me. We ended up having sex in the church that evening and have continued since that night. I  and he have tried to stop, but we end up texting each other and we find a place to be together. I am so ashamed at my behavior and the damage my lust has caused. I need to stop this but I cannot . I have tried  and tried and tried but this man makes me feel so alive. my mind explodes when we make love, I am totally his. I love my husband, but I have also developed strong strong feelings for this man. He has not waivered and is ashamed as well. He is in the process of getting a transfer to another state. But one part of me wants him to go far away and the other part says go with him.

Tags: Dating;

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Comments

Monday, August 29, 2016 9:19 AM
Guest

SO you are now awhore,  did he use condoms or cumm inside you, did you give him oral sex and swallow.

 
Monday, August 29, 2016 10:21 AM
Guest

God's devotees, both of you, and had sex in the church? Wtf is wrong with people these days? Please don't make up stories.

 
Monday, August 29, 2016 10:55 AM
Guest

Stop trying to use god and church as an excuse your are now exposed to the devil

 
Monday, August 29, 2016 11:19 AM
Guest

I did not expect this, but I guess I deserve it. I am so lost. I agree what is wrong with me to do this in the church. I rarely go now and my husband is concerned why I am not involved as I was before. 

 
Monday, August 29, 2016 11:43 AM
Guest

Guest  who wrotr the story  did the guys use comdoms,  did you give him oral sex  and swallow

 

 
Monday, August 29, 2016 1:40 PM
ALF

You are a real piece of work.  You're the devoted wife until your husband develops a medical problem.  Then you just go for yourself.  Do you not know that a medicatiaon regimine can be scaled so that it doesn't cause negative side affects?  Such as low sex drive?  Medications can be changed, and dosages adjusted to eliminate those effects.  Did you ever visit the doctor with your husband to discuss that side affect?  Apparently not.  Instead, you hooked up with a dude with a sob story about his sister being killed by a drunk driver.  Whatever it takes, right?  Now this guy is getting himself transferred to another state, probably to get away from you before things blow up, and you're thinking of abandoning your husband to leave with him.  All it would have taken was a little effort on your part to get a handle on your problem, but you chose a path to total destruction instead.  If you are as God-fearing as you say your are, tell your husband about what you have done.  If he is as God-fearing, he will forgive.  If not, he will make your choice easier for you.

 
Monday, August 29, 2016 3:29 PM
ALF

And...if you're husband is showing concern about you not attending church regularly, he's going to find out for himself soon enough.

 
Monday, August 29, 2016 3:39 PM
Julius

    A real  christian  would have have confessed  James 5:16. Real christian  would have stepped down from his/hers position  and not hurt the body of christ. Not only did you sin against  your husband but against God. In his place of worship.  1 cor 6:19. Your body was the temple  of God. He now does not s reside in  you. 2 Tim. 2:22-24 A real christian  would  have ran away from temptation. Mathew 18:6 read it. If you have kids.  You can't stop because you are influence  by satan . God have mercy  on you. The more you wait to confess the worst you will become.  LUKE 8:17 For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neitherany thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.

 

 
Monday, August 29, 2016 11:49 PM
Guest

God is good, He loves all of us. He loved you before you made this mistake, He still loves you now. God does expect you to follow His Word. Confess your sins to one another, for give one another because your Father in heaven forgives you. There will be consequences to face here on earth, the look in your husbands eyes when you tell him for one! Better that than going to hell because of unconfessed sin. Know that I will pray for you and your husband today. 

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 4:38 AM
Guest

If god does exist i do hope he sends you to hell so that you are tortured for eternity.

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 12:04 PM
Grace Unconditional

There's no sin on this earth that God cannot forgive. We can talk about all kinds of sins but all sins can be forgiven by His grace. Look at 1 Corinthians and you'll know that the early church had problems as well. I would say take it to God and move on, keep going and don't look behind you. Remember when Jesus spoke to the woman caught in adultery, Jesus only said "I don't condemn you" and "Go and sin no more." He also said to the religious folk "He that is without sin among you, cast the first stone." So acknowledge it for what it is, put it behind you, and move on. If you're still emotionally struggling with this man, you may want to consider seeing a counselor to deal with it in a healthy way. Take care of yourself. 

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 12:22 PM
Sophia

Just imagine if you are in your husband shoes, what will you do? Don't use the word God, devotted women and etc.. You have to be careful what you did can be a stumbling block for others. People make mistakes and it happened to everyone, but that doesn't mean you can't be better. You have to take the challenge it might not be easy and it will be hard but again you started it and you have take the consequences

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 2:59 PM
Guest

Don't worry about the people whom are pretending to be religious and are condemning you. They seem to have forgotten "Judge not that you be not judged."  This is the internet, and the world is filled with Internet tough guys.

What you've done is very harmful to yourself and your husband. It sounds like the other guy is using you, but that you are eager to be used. Please pray that God will help you find a solution. Personally, I recommend  that you break all co tact with the other guy now. That means all contact. That means ALL contact.

You've caused a lot of t of harm.  You are not an evil person, but you have done an evil act. I recommend that you get counseling right away. Probably either get a secular counselor, or go at least 50 miles away to get religious counseling. Ultimately, you will have to decide to tell your husband or not. If you feel that you can devote yourself to him for the rest of your life, you are best off not to tell him. Just be loyal and devoted to him. If you feel that you might stray again then you must tell him everything. Try to wait a few weeks or more before talking with him about this.

 You Will be in my prayers.

 

 

 

 

 
Tuesday, August 30, 2016 6:30 PM
Guest

Apparently you do not fear God. All that time sitting in Church and you didn't learna thing! You are a self righteous, lying, slut. You do not know what love is! You know what lust and selfishness is but that is it. You do not love your husband or even your kids! Love is another word for CARING! Caring about peoples feelings, welfare and survival. You have hurt your family whether they know about your cheating or not. Every day you lie to them, you hurt them and if you haven't figured it out yet, you are hurting yourself - you stupid fool! You are less, than you were before you cheated. You have lost your honor. You can't get it back. You have broken a rule that cannot be undone. Sure, Jesus forgave the adulterous woman, but that doesn't mean her husband did, or that they didn't get dovorced, or that her children didn't hate her for destroying their childhood! Yes, you are a steaming pile of shit. Tell your pastor he is doing a lousy job! 

 
Wednesday, August 31, 2016 12:38 AM
Another Alf

Thanks for sharing. Now go and fix it. Suggest that you pastor may assist.

 
Wednesday, August 31, 2016 2:00 AM
Guest

You are the worst possible wife, you whore

 
Wednesday, August 31, 2016 6:54 PM
Guest

I agree 100% with ALF on this one.  There is no G-O-D about you, you're more D-O-G.

 
Thursday, September 1, 2016 7:06 PM
Guest

you women are a whore

 

 
Thursday, September 1, 2016 7:07 PM
Guest

*woman

 

 
Friday, September 2, 2016 4:49 AM
Confused

What kind of church is that you actually beleive in God. Wow... speechless

 
Friday, September 2, 2016 4:21 PM
Guest

  If your not a Christian  this ain't for you. To the " christian  " saying judge not or be judged. Do you read the bible or do you just skim through it. The bbile is clear on 1 cor 6:9. It not a person judging  but the word of God. If the bible says adultery  is wrong then guess what geniuses, it's wrong. But only if you go by Bible standards which clearly  you don't. Jesus did forgive in john 8 but you leave out the part where he said go and sin no more. This women clearly is still enjoying  as she stated her sin. Jesus knew her life and why she did what she did. The bible doesn't  mentioned  it but Jesus had a clear picture. This women has a good man( In her own words ) and is enjoying  her sin and you sir are a fool to tell them to go to a secular counselor. Seek first the kingdom  of God. Marriage is to be open, loving and patient in all matters. What cereal  box did you get you bible knowledge  from. She clearly  is enjoying  her sin.

 
Sunday, September 4, 2016 4:23 AM
Guest

I read some of the responses and I felt numb, my actions and thoughts sickened me. I wondered what I would think of a woman who did this to her husband. SOme of the same things many on here wrote would be the words coming out of my own mouth.   Hebrews 13:4 comes to mind of the sin I have brought to my home. I must deal with this when my time comes and seek mercy for my soul. I received some good advice and I listened. I went to my husband and confessed everything. THis was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We went to our pastor and I will work for the rest of my life to seek forgiveness from my husband. I hope only for grace at this time.

 
Sunday, September 4, 2016 5:05 PM
Guest

It is good that you stopped lying to your family. Now you have to accept responsibility. You want mercy? Then get on your knees and bare your neck to your husband. What does that mean? It means that you mortally wounded your marriage and family. You stuck a knife right in your husbands heart. Everyday he sees you, he will remember the pain, thanks! The only thing you can do to make this right is to give him the power and freedom to do what he has to do to heal. That means, offer him his freedom from you without reservations. That means, if he wants a divorce you walk away, give him the kids and ALL the marital assets. If you trust in Jesus, you don't need them anyway. Bare your neck, and let your husband decide your fate, his fate and your families fate. Oh yeah, and be willing to publically denounce your lover who dragged you into this evil, destructive sin fiiled life! Open the wound and clean it out or the infection will kill everyone involved!

 
Monday, September 5, 2016 7:44 PM
Guest

yo did he finger your butt when you two were doing it or do one of those knuckle duster things where he just rubbed the outside of it? wanting to know for a friend

 
Monday, September 5, 2016 8:43 PM
Anonymous

To: The hug lasted,

 

I was once in a relationship with a woman that I cared (and always loved), for so so so so so, dearly. We dated for almost 2 decades, and she was the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on, still to this day. I like to think that I stole her heart  the first time I cook for her, because she had my heart from that day forward.  

 

Now, as time went by we ended up traveling, all over the world, always on the go... it was awesome! I couldn't ask for a better companion. She was the best during some of our long drives (sometimes I would pass out on her), during those long road trips. I know I know, I should have stayed up and kept you company. 

I'm sorry, but for the record... thank you for not getting upset with me. 

 

We also traveled and hung out with a special group of friends, and we enjoyed our "Kickback Crazy" outrageous, one-of-a-kind moments (in which I'll always cherish). Shit, I couldn't even ask for anything more, a good woman, a good life, and some awesome friends! 

 

But they were stealing from me, that was bothering me, why would they do that? I trusted them so much, that is until I finally told myself, hey... these fuckers are stealing from me! I didn't even realized it, it wasn't like, they had this planned going, this plan that was all set up, right? I kept saying to myself... Friends wouldn't do that? No way!  

 

Eventually, I had to put a stop to it, so I decided to talk to my girl. She always had my back (and vice versa), I always opened up and explain problems - things that would bother me at times, but she never hesitated when it came to me. She was always a good listener, and I always, always took into consideration any advice, views and opinions from her.

 

Now how was I going to explain this to her, this little dilemma I'm having... and now I feel so awkward. Can you believe they were stealing, like being robbed by my next door neighbors, literally. I hung out with them almost everyday. The sad part was that I trusted them, all of them so much.. For the first time I lost trust in some friendships that I  cared for and valued...

 

They stold items from me, and hopefully I can get them return back soon. Please pray for me everyone! All these items are very very very precious, damn priceless, and valuable to one's life, and in fact, I need these  items  everyday, to keep me sane, to keep me alive, to keep me going, to keep me having hope and and feeling wanted... in my everyday - in life.  Now feeling numb at times, their thoughts sicken and discuss me... I can't help it though I feel some form of betrayal... so I wrote up a whole list of everything that was taken, and then I asked my girl nicely, if she didn't mind taking it over there, and confronting them about it.... I really didn't want to see them... not at all! Then I thanked her and she thanked me  back, I always admired, the life I had with her. So I thanked  her, (she always did favors for me), but again for doing this last favor. But really thanked her from the bottom of my heart. 

 

Then said to her, "Now it is time for you to go next door, so I said goodbye... as she walked away".  I then closed the door (right behind her), went into the bedroom... I got comfortable and started to lay down.... then... thinking  and said to myself, 

 

"there are certain things that can destroy a man's soul, one that sticks to me... is being abandoned"

 

Then... I took a big deep breath.... I thanked God and hope that I would not be placed in that situation ever again, God then spoke, "don't worry that'll never happen again, because you are a forgiving man and I will always forgive those, who have done you wrong". 

 

Then I was at peace... now it was time for me to finally confront this reality of mine, then I said bye and closed my eyes.... 

 

 

 this is what they ended up stealing from me towards the end...

 

1. My trust

 

2. Never had my back (my look out confidant)

 

3. The right to ask for advice

 

4. my right to talk to them when I had a bad day

 

5. My honesty

 

6. On moments when we disagree or agreeing on things

 

7. ones contacts with very old souls

 

8. My support network

 

9. my love and kindness

 

10. my loyalty 

 

11. my paradise I once had

 

12. my compassion 

 

13. my dignity

 

14. my rock

 

15. mankind's suffering leadership

 

16. ones honesty

 

17. the elects of God. 

 

18. last but not least, once there was a normal human, that at one point, was turned into a star-child. Well, that human was very precious to me, in fact will always be.... I would like to have this human back, if possible, but at the right moment.

 

Now, again they stole all this stuff right under my nose...

 

Just some heads up...  I... am... a... forgiving man.... 

 

So no one needs to worry about that part...okay?

 

and this is how quick they took it  just by doing one thing 

 

 

"YOU" shall "NOT" take "ANYTHING" that belongs to your "NEIGHBOR", it is  "FORBIDDEn", period period period....

 
Tuesday, September 6, 2016 2:00 PM
Guest

   I'm the man with all the bible versus responses and the one who responded to the  judge  and not be judged fool.

Now you can go ahead  and call yourself  a christian. It's not about making or not making mistakes  but excepting responsibility   for your action. We are all sinners  and come short of the glory  of God ( Romans 3: 23 ) Many other translation  say fall short of the glory of  God but that it's wrong because  by falling means you were there at one point and we can't possibly reach that.  We all sin day in day out but our willingness  to change and do better is what makes us God's people. Now you have a tuff road ahead and we all must pray for healing in  your home. Smile for  you have been forgiven by God and even though pain may lie ahead but also redemption  will wait for you.  To those who we call sinners. We christian  are not better or less of a sinner. But what we are is better off because our creater forgives us and helps us live life as he pleases.

 
Tuesday, September 6, 2016 11:26 PM
Guest

I first off want to say i understand your situation. Dont let the others get too you were all human. We all sin. Yes your sin is pretty severe but david also commited adultery as god watched everything ...then he ordered his men to kill the husband of the woman he took for himself.. And god forgave him. So dont let anyone in the forum judge u or get to you. I mean thats a hard situation, just like a man has his needs so does a woman and if somebody is trying to fill that need it puts you in a very hard situation. Its hard im going through my own delima. Similar only that i really would never do that at a church but hey no judging here a church is just a place. God eyes are everywhere. He sees everything. Other than that i dont know what to tell you because im trying myself to get out of a similar situation. And i im losing it.. Losing myself. I hate the emotional rollarcoaster but i love the thrill the attention the hot sex. And i could only get it from him. 

 
Wednesday, September 7, 2016 7:57 AM
Guest

  To the guest a abover me. Read the story again genius. God forgave him but still punished him is a severe  way. People need to stop quoting  the bible when when they have no clue what it says. Who's judging  by thier own standards or knowledge? They are repeating what the Bible says on this matter. You still have to pay for your sin especially  if  you call yourself  a follower of christ. DAVIDS daughter  were raped because of his sins. So don't come here saying people are judging  when quoting the bible. Judge not unless you be judge is taken out of context. What it means is not to judge unjustly. If the bible condemned  it so should you. IT SHOULD BE CLLED OUT FOR WHAT IT IS. SIN IS SIN. No sin out ways another. White lie or  black lie  is the same to God. If you are in a similar  situation  you better get right with God ASAP. How can you speak on God and say Hot Sex. No shame in you. Can you say Hot Hell. It is not hard to remain faithful  the problem  is you love your lust more then your God. It's one thing to sin and repent but another to enjoy it. Some of you need new pastors or some theology  classes.

 
Thursday, September 8, 2016 6:52 PM
Guest

Lol fucking at church what a joke!! U a slut that acts HOLY!! U want to be fucked by a BIG COCK and scream "Oh JESUS" tell the truth your pussy was wetter cuz u fucked in church lol

 
Friday, September 9, 2016 1:08 PM
Guest

Really as I see it if you used a condom you really bad a thin piece of material between you and him it doesn't really count.  So if you use a condom it does not count.   So fuck away.  If you let him cum inside you...you are a slut and a wbore.

 
Tuesday, September 13, 2016 12:10 AM
Guest

You are a 😈 Bad girl lol and a shit too 

 
Wednesday, September 14, 2016 2:40 PM
Guest

I pray for you to find peace and forgiveness in the revelation of errors that you have made. God loves you unconditionally. Ignore the fools asking for details that have NO BEARING on your telling. It was wrong. We all sin, but seek forgiveness and do not continue any relationship with the other man, regardless of your brain telling you otherwise. God Bless. And if you truly love your spouse, then he needs to know  

 

 

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