Still confused

My wife cheated on me

Tuesday, November 3, 2015 9:22 PM by Anonymous Rating: +25|-16

I have a beautiful wife, I thought we were soul mates. Married for 23years now.

I’m not the best looking guy, however I’m very loyal, fun, a hopeless romantic and do try and look after myself (1,91m tall and well built) I’ve always moved heaven and earth to accommodate and give my wife everything she wants. I own a very successful company (after some ups and downs) and loved spoiling her. All her lady friends always told her that the day we should separate for some reason they would be queuing to have me.

She had a so-called "fling" when we were married 7yrs and after confronting her and the colleague, they both confessed. However was adamant that it was only superficial and “nothing” happened. She blamed me for not standing up for her if my friends argued with her about nonsense. I told her that I’m a lover not a fighter, and will not be drawn into stupid arguments. (she can be quite aggressive if found to be incorrect on a subject)

To cut a long story short, she admitted to me about 1.5 yrs ago that the “fling” was indeed way more than they admitted. They met in hotels on their afternoons off, and that she was going to leave me for him. Unfortunately he was not prepared to leave his wife for her. (I now understand why she was so angry after their break up) So basically I was her second choice or back up plan. This really stuck in my mind to such an extend that I could not even be intimate with her. (Basically had to force myself and faked many orgasms just to get it over) I felt being such a fool for passing so many opportunities initiated by some of her own girlfriends, and being loyal.

Beginning of this year I found out that she cheated on me a couple of months before we got engaged with her EX.

For now I pretend nothing is wrong, although inside I’m a mess. (the reason I have Anonymous as my profile pic on social networks)

I believe she loves me and stuck with me through stage 4 cancer I’ve just got rid of.

Some days I feel like divorcing her and the next she does something that makes me fall all over for her again.

However the images of her and her lover is stuck in my head…

Tags: Coworker Affair; Divorce;

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Tuesday, November 3, 2015 10:55 PM

Guest

It really depends on you. The images really never leave. They remain in your head and rear itself even when you think you've forgotten. You can forgive but you won't forget. Even if you tried. You'll have to access whether or not she'll be loyal to you as you have been to her. Study her. Some cheating partners show extra love and attention so as not to make their partners suspicious. If you feel you can still stay with her, why not, communicate with her and see how best you guys can work together. But if after studying her, or you realise she's still cheating, do get a divorce. Because then, it really won't be worth it.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015 2:41 AM

Hey buddy! We tend to think that we are so super awesome with our bodies, businesses, etc that why would our better halves cheat on us really. Well there are a ton of reasons people cheat and even if you have been a bloody awesome 'individual', it doesn't matter. You've gotta be a super awesome couple. That being said, I do realize that most of us can't be that ideal and we often realize this late in our marriage/relationship. I believe in your case you might just have to go that extra mile to try and see if you can rekindle the affection and compassion in your relationship. Maybe it's tough because of your cancer and life can be unfair. Point is give it a shot. If she stuck with you through your cancer, I believe she paid off for your awesomeness and your gifts. If you see it going somewhere, great. If you don't, move on. Speak to her about how you feel, let down your man who if you have any (I have tons). If she is receptive and she sees you as her soulmate for the rest of your lives, she'll be up for the challenge. If she refuses to show interest or lacks passion, you need to get the hint and move on - you'll do a favor for everybody involved in this equation.

Friday, November 6, 2015 8:54 PM

Guest

You sound like a good man, will you date me, lol! Seriously, I am stuck in my marriage't of 10 years and I am sick of it. My husband has no sex drive, not sure if it's his diabetes or his workaholic behaviors, I now hate him for that! I cannot even look at him and I have thought many times about a divorce. The problem is that we have kids together so I am not sure how I would break the news to them. But deep down in my heart I know we are done and I think that I really should move on. I don't want to cheat because I do not want that to ever happen to me, but I am tempted.

Thursday, September 15, 2016 4:39 AM

TheBestAdvice

To the guest above me, it doesn't sound like you are staying in the marriage for the sake of the kids. Most women who say that are really staying in the marriage for the sake of the money. You need to find a guy that would be a good provider and leave your husband. It's crazy to stay in a marriage and be so unhappy when you can just leave and find someone you love instead of someone you hate.

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