Thursday, January 7, 2016 1:17 AM by Mademoiselle
I have been in a 3-year relationship with my boyfriend. We had a baby. "had" because I had miscarriage. Although our baby past away, I still consider myself being a mother and a wife. It was a really tough battle for us. We have been through ups and downs for quite awhile now and treated ourselves as husband and wife. We've been committed to each other for a long time and we now live together.
So here's the catch. I ended up liking his friend. They're not that close though. This isn't the first time experienced liking one of his friends, this is rather the 2nd time. From the first 2 years of our relationship, I never ever looked at any other men since I'm pretty contented of what I have during that time. after 2 years, I realized that I'm still not ready to commit to one person. I wanna have fun (you already know what I mean). I want to splurge myself from all the loyalty, faithfulness and commitment I gave to him cos I felt like a prisoner all throughout our relationship. I learned how to be independent and not needing a man by my side. I wanted to explore the world. I wanted to travel and engage into some extreme adventure. I want to see what the world really looks like and I want to do it with my boyfriend/husband.. but he doesn't want to. It kind of hurts.
His friend, the one I liked. He loves adventures and travels a lot. He does what I really wnated to do and that's why I'm attracted to him. It's kinda weird but I now want to travel with him. Do everything I wanted to do with my boyfriend. The problem is, we're not yet friends (Lol). I badly want to talk to him but I can't cos I don't want to look like I am the one who's really into him. Haha! I just don't knoq how he feels about me.
Anyway, we met at an event. I was with my boyfriend. He kept looking at me, I didn't mind that too much since it's casual but he's too hot not to notice so I flaunted myself more just so he'll look at me longer. (Lol)
Here's my dilemma, I want him so much. But I don't want to lose my boyfriend. The one I wan to marry in the future is my boyfriend but I still "want to have fun". I know it sounds selfish but I want us (my boyfriend and I) to have fun and get back together as soon as we're ready.