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My wife cheated on me

Monday, July 11, 2016 10:38 PM by Bill Rating: +16|-6

I have been married to a very attractive Chinese woman that is now 46 for the last 10 years. We met and married in China when i was there working. When we met I thought wow, the perfect woman, just fantastic in all ways. The problem I think with narcissistic women like my wife is that they are very good at initially getting a guy so hooked on them that, well in my case, I saw the signs that I should have been concerned about but just never took them seriously. When we started having sex it was, honestly, better than i ever thought it could be, just fantastic, and the first time she did oral sex on me, i orgasmed in her mouth and she swallowed with absolutely no discomfort or problem at all, then later told me that she had only had sex with 2 men before we met and that orally that was the first time she ever did that to a man. And i just knew that sounded like nonsense, but let if fly by me. After living together in China for a year we got married, and everything started to change. The insults, at first very subtle, cutting me down in front of others, etc, etc, started. Then we came to my home country Canada and 4 years ago I found out she was hanging around with another guy, and twice in front of me she called him and told him she could not see him again, but still did until I finally said it ends now or I am gone. And she ended it because i took a job in another city and we moved. Of course, ever thought this situation lasted 4 months, she adamantly professed up and down he and her were only friends – so i asked her then why did you not introduce me to him as your husband, and she said he did not want to meet me.
Then last year she went out one night with her gf’s and did not return home until the next day at 11am.. I was out of town, but a neighbor told me when i got home and i asked her about it and she said she stayed at at Vanessa’s place, a gf of hers. Then 6 months later we were having an arguement and i asked her again, where were u really that night and she said i told you before, i stayed at Tiffany’s place. I knew then for sure i had a big problem on my hands.
Anyhow, 3 months ago she told me she wants a divorce, and we separated 6 weeks ago. She said she does not love me anymore, we can never be together again, etc, etc. Yet., she since we separated has asked me if i want to go to china in September with her, wanted to take me the other day on Fathers day for lunch, (we have no children together), yet still always starts an argument every single time we talk to each other. I have asked her if she has another guy since we separated and she say no not at all, but gets mad if i ask her this. I have read many articles since we separated and she is definitely narcissistic. I now beleive that she had a lot more men sexually before we met than 2, and also she cheated at least the 2 times i described here and probably even more during our marriage.

Very heartbreaking and sad.

I would really appreciate your comments and thoughts on this situation, what you believe is the truth, and you can be totally honest, open and to the point with me.  Tell it like it is for me please.

Tags: Divorce; Neighbor;

Thank you for voting.


Tuesday, July 12, 2016 1:57 PM

Sounds like a typical woman who uses you to get out of her country. If you want to know stories like this you need to talk to military men who have gone overseas met a woman married her and brought her back to the states. It happens a lot. You were her access to a new and improved life style. That's what I think. I could be totally wrong tho

Wednesday, July 13, 2016 2:26 AM

Now that she has papers to be legally in Canada, you don't matter. You been used. Report her to the immigration authorities and have her sent back to China. 

Wednesday, July 13, 2016 2:59 PM

Call me racist if you want, but many Chinese women are narcissistic or borderline (BPD). The product of being raised by "Tiger Moms".

Cut your losses and move on. Thank your lucky stars you don't have children. You deserve better than this silly spoils bitch.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016 3:09 PM

Does this ever go through your head, "Who needs her shit?!" I can tell you that from reading your tale of misery; you DO NOT NEED HER SHIT! She is a selfish, manupulative, psycho that NEVER loved you. There never was a connection. It was all your famtasy. She is simply a manipulative slut that gets off on the power she feels from manipulating others. She is evil by definition. No good will ever come from a relationship with her. She is a witch. Get away from her and stay away. Then find a decent woman, they are out there. 

Wednesday, July 13, 2016 9:43 PM

 She is a narcissis.  That good enough  reason to leave. People with this problem  are selfish  and will do anything  to destroy  your life if thier life isn't perfect. If you call them out on it your screwed. Leave put don't  give her heads up. You will regret it if you don't.

Thursday, July 14, 2016 5:38 AM

I'm just impressed she stayed 46 years old for 10 years. I know they say Asians age slowly, but that's just impressive. 


Joking about your grammar aside, 2 things :


1) You need to care more about yourself. Women like that can't get their hooks into you just because they are narcissistic. They simply target guy who have self esteem issues to start with. They know they can get their hooks into you. They avoid 'complete ' people like this plague, because they cannot control them. So work on yourself, buddy..its the only way. Invest time in you, so whatever it takes for you to feel awesome about yourself. It will kill her to watch you transform. 


2) that said, she is broken. Not fixable. She is like an adult child who only knows how to influence people through tantrums, and whose only motivation is to get what she needs out of you, like a kid manipulating a parent they no longer respect: they need you to get them stuff, even if it's just attention to feed their narcissism,but because they can manipulate you, they cannot respect you. This is an unbreakable aspect of her psychological makeup, it's the basis of how sh learned to live life. You can't change it. She doesn't respect you. Run like the wind.  


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