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The biggest mistake...

I cheated on my boyfriend

Friday, March 4, 2016 3:47 PM by Guest Rating: +12|-7

About three years ago, my boyfriend and I started to hit a rough patch. We were working minimum wage jobs and barely scraping by. We lived with his dad at the time due to us not being able to afford a place of our own. I finally applied for a better job that eventually hired me a month later. I was making much better money, and I felt that things were starting to look up. He did not like his current job, which was at a gas station, and the stress from his job started to cause arguments. We started to fight over nothing, and the stress from his dad and job effected us as a couple. Things were getting rough. 

We moved out of that old apartment, and into a town home with his dad to help his health. I was making much better money and my boyfriend was still at the gas station. The stress became too much and he eventually quit. I told him that I would be able to handle everything financially while he looked for a better job. I was doing fine handling the bills. As time went on, he started to hang out at home. He was looking for jobs and applying, but he wasn't getting hired. I started working more and more to support us. He started to become distant from me. I was never home because of work, and he was becoming frustrated because of the zero responses he was getting from potential jobs. He started blaming me for everything that had been going on. I tried to push him to go to school, to help him find jobs. Every time ended in an argument. He became so mean. I loved him with all my heart. I was so hurt that he wasn't here for me. When I needed him the most, he wasn't there. I needed his support emotionally. I needed him to be here for me, and he chose not to. When we made plans for a date or just to get out together, he would make plans with our friends instead. Almost every time. I felt like I wasn't enough. I felt like I was nothing. I thought I lost my other half. I realize I lost my worth completely.

I had become good friends with one of my co-workers. We had many conversations about almost anything. He was there when I needed someone to talk to. He had been a great friend to me. Everything was so refreshing. We went for a hike one day and everything was fine. We talked and just enjoyed each other's company. I invited my boyfriend to go with us, but he declined and stayed home with a couple friends. When my friend dropped me off at home, he gave me a hug that lasted just a bit too long. I said good bye and that was it. Over time he and I grew closer. The tension at home became worse, and I felt like I needed to vent. He drove me home one night and I cried and told him everything going on. He kissed me and I pushed back. I told him that I couldn't do it, but he kissed me again. I never wanted to, but I found myself kissing him back. I felt that warmth that I was looking for in my boyfriend that had been missing. 

Fast forward to a few months later. My co-worker and I started dating. We were getting along so great and even when I tried to end things, I would come home and my boyfriend wouldnt want me around. That pain was so unbearable. I lied to him and told him that I was going to a resort with a few girlfriends when in truth I was going with the other man. We went to that resort and only spent one night. I was going to end things there, and I felt that it was best to get away from everyone and everything that distracted us. I talked with the other man and let him know that I loved my boyfriend and wanted to work things out. He drove me home the next day only to find out that my boyfriend found out and followed us to that resort. I let him know that I was ending things and that I was coming home early regardless if he followed me or not. I told him that I wanted to work things out with him.

We picked up the pieces and he forgave me. Though it took some time, he had agreed to work things out. I stayed with my dad for two weeks to give us time to think. I didn't talk to this other man for almost a month. We worked together, and avoiding each other was hard. So, to end the tension, I wanted to talk to him. We went for dinner and I tried to explain what was going on. I developed feelings for him too, and it was difficult to permanently part ways because we had been so close before. It took me almost nine months to finally end it. I even transferred departments because that situation was getting to be difficult. Nothing had happened since the first time my boyfriend found out. However, I was telling this other man that I loved him too. My boyfriend went through my messages and found messages that were exchanged back and forth between this man and i. Though I did not physically cheat on him again, it was the fact that I was still talking to this other man. I wanted nothing more than to work things out with my boyfriend. He kicked me out of our town home and now I am back at my dad's house. I miss him every day he isn't with me. It kills me knowing I caused so much pain. I am so hurt from everything I worked so hard to build for us. I feel like it was all ripped from me... i know i deserve it. That doesnt lessen the pain i feel... We are currently working things out. I know that cheating is cheating, no matter what form it is. I live him so much and I invested almost six year of my life into this relationship. I want it more than anything. I guess I am here to vent, and hopefully help those who feel that they are alone just like I do. I am also looking for advise. 

Tags: Dating; Friend;

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Comments

Saturday, March 5, 2016 6:44 AM
Angel

 There is never and excuse for  cheating. As a man I can honestly  say that it was your man's fault to begin with.

The big NO, NO's your ass of a boyfriend   did.  Now it doesn't  justified  what you did.

1. Neglected  you

2. Took his failures  out on you.

3.quit his job before  finding another one. ( grown ass man roles with the punches)

4.let you out with another man. By your self.

5.Never found time to spend with you but did with he's buddies.

Show this to your boyfriend. 

 Listen asshole. Even though what she did was wrong it was understandable. Your stress and failure led to her pouring  her heart out to another man. He understood  and listen her and gave her what she needed. Of course feeling will develope. And you let it be. Your a grown as man and men do anything  and everything  possible  to take care there house. You wined like a bitch and said boo hoo I don't  like this job. Man the fuck up you coward. At least your girl now know not to marry your stupid  ass because for better or worst is not in your vocabulary. Yes in her worst time she cheated so she just as guilty. But your the "man" your supposed  to  keep your  house in order. 

Now back to you. You fucked up now live with it. Never an excuse  to   cheat but this time you did yourself a favor. Find another man, not a boy. This is not what you want to hear  but it's the truth. You never go to another man EVER when you have problems  with your own. We will prey on it. We are hunters and will find a way to get that pussy. Women are so emotional  they fall for it every  time like you did. Find a new man. Your anwer😢 but I love him. Get the fuck over it. Imagine if you were married  to him. This will happen again.

 
Saturday, March 5, 2016 12:34 PM
Guest

The only thing you did wrong was not ending your relationship with your abusive boyfriend before you started a new relationship. Now he has made it easy and kicked you out. Good! Stay out, your ex is a loser. Move on, but be careful the other guy is not that great either. What kind of guy dates a girl who is living with another man? Think about it, it is fucked up. Plus, you were pretty desperate when you were cheating on your boyfriend with him. So, he is probably a loser too. Stay single for at least a few months. Give yourself time to get your head straight. Then write down the characteristics you want in a husband, yes husband! You have wasted enough time on losers and interlopers. Get a decent man, a husband and future father of your kids. He has to be able to provide for you and the kids, he has to be a gentleman, he has to be sane, and attractive to you. There is a start for you! Be picky the next time out and stop settling for losers. Make your father proud for a change. 

 
Wednesday, March 9, 2016 6:29 PM
Guest

Like the other people who had commented on this, I agree with them as well. Your ex has become one big an asshole to you. Though, I also agree that you were very desperate when with the other guy. But, overall, I think your ex has a tiny soft spot for you. Just take it slow for a while, focus on your job, earn money, and live your life as a single, independent woman who doesn't need a man dragging you down from being so succesful. You can still work out things with your ex, but don't dwell so much time on it. Really think hard about how you want to continue on in the future- with your old ex? Or take time on love and just wait for a man who is willing to love you with all his heart.

 
Wednesday, March 9, 2016 7:09 PM
Guest

Okay so it seems you know that your cheating was wrong and it's good that you recognize that. The thing that I noticed from your story is that you said "I was so hurt that he wasn't here for me. When I needed him the most, he wasn't there. I needed his support emotionally. I needed him to be here for me, and he chose not to." which I understand since he was being cold, but I can't help but think that he needed YOU as much as you needed him. You seem like a victim of being ignored, which you are, but how did you expect a man without a job, rejected from other jobs on a constant basis, living with his parent as a grown man suppose to be there for you emotionally when he can't even be there for himself. I'm saying I think you relied too heavily on your boyfriend at the time he was most weak and unstable, while you had a better job with better pay leaving you at a much stronger place to be emotionally. The problem I think lies that you two didn't decide to support eachother, fall back on eachother, instead you both tried to be independent. Now I'm not trying to justify his behaviour or yours, but perhaps it's best you both part ways because fundementally, once you two hit a rough patch, it seems you both try to become independent from eachother, rather try to support eachother not just one supporting the other. But hey, what do I know.

 
Sunday, March 13, 2016 9:06 PM
Guest

Take a lesson from this experience and move on. Don't let it happen again. 

 

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