I came home unannounced only to find my wife with another man. When checking their phones the truth was out since they were not confessing. She was calling him home on a daily basis after i left to work. The affair lasted for more than 2 years and i had no clue and no signs about it. He happened to be her colleague. He had resigned from the job a year back but their relation was still on. I was shocked when i opened the door. Never in my worst nightmare did i think that this would happen to me. I felt so sick in my stomach.
We have been married for 7yrs, together for 8yrs. She had no remorse or guilt, no sorry feeling, no tears when i caught her. She left me with nothing not even a proper confession. We have 3 beautiful children, 2 boys and a girl. I had her leave my house along with the kids. Since i work early hours and couldn’t take care of the kids. Later i found out that the last child - 1.4yrs did not belong to me but to her affair. Her entire office, friends and community came to light of her affair and doings. She went to stay at her parents place. Even they accepted the fact what she had done and have accepted her and the kids. I guess i didn’t read the signs and trusted her blindly. I thought she was a good girl!
We didn’t see each other or speak over the phone. It had been a little over 2 months. I gave it time and space. I was truly shattered. Couldn’t sleep or eat properly for weeks. I finally broke down. I wanted to see if there was any love in her for me. Ended up meeting her and stated my feelings towards her. The most idiotic thing I’ve ever done in my life. Killed my self-respect, kept my ego aside and did this. Told her that i had forgiven her and wanted to forget this incident and move on with her and the kids to another state and start over. She denied stating it was over and the love for me that she had was dead. She is not letting me see my kids as well as she wants me to distance them from me. She states that the kids don’t even remember me anymore. They are 7 & 6 yrs. old. Turns out to be a true fact, the kids have been brain washed and did not even want to see me when they accidently seen me on the street after grocery shopping. My wife tells me that the entire 7 years, she was unhappy with me. She said i was her biggest mistake.
I have given this woman, my heart and my soul. I truly belonged to her. Gifted her best i could with diamond on her birthday. Expensive dresses all the time. Took her out on dates weekly. Made her birthday big every year. Always made her feel special and wanted. I did everything as a husband. I was a good husband as well as a very loving and caring father. I have never cheated her this entire time as i have taken my wedding vows seriously. There were women during these 7 years i stayed married who wanted to have a relation with me but i denied stating that i am a happy father and a very lucky husband. Later as time passed by, i found out that their relation had turned out way stronger than before. They were on calls on a daily basis for more than 2 hrs. Met each other as the opportunity arises. It was all over for me. I was no longer there to stand in their way. The mishap that had happened had cleared their way and now they could see their future together. Just for the reader’s info, i also found out that her affair was a married man and a father to a daughter as well. But they didn’t know anything about this as they stayed back in his hometown with his parents in another country.
I called her and demanded that we mutually divorce each other in the court and stop this acting business. I told her i knew everything and there was nothing more to see or get hurt with. I had become rock hard in my heart and mind. She kept delaying me on this for over 3 weeks. I had no further option but to hire a lawyer and do the needful in the court. My friends and family accompanied me to have the marriage annulled in the church as well. It has been 5 months for this ordeal and it soon shall be over.
I don’t know how long I’ll stay strong. I need to get out from this state of mind and start fresh somewhere. Every time i get some new evidence of her cheating on me in my house i get upset and feel really very sad. I go into hardcore depression mode. Every restaurant, every club, and every happening joint i have been, with this woman. Every shopping mall, movie theatre, parks; I’ve been with the kids and her. I don’t think i can do this for long. Thought of giving up on myself, on life itself but remembered my parents, my nephews and didn't do it. I guess i didn’t have the courage. I guess God gives battles to his strongest soldiers. Am i making the right moves? I love this women, she was my life, my everything, my world. My kids were mine, i was tutoring them to be honest and trust worthy kids. I had brought them up with discipline.
Therapy, Counseling sessions and Prayer meetings have helped me and kept me going and alive. I know i cannot trust her anymore with anything. Every word she says is a lie to me now. I guess it better to let her go away never to think about her again. But the kids? I really don't know how to move on. I don't know how to ever trust a woman again. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fall in love again and have a life and a happy family someday.
She states she doesn't want me to have any interaction with the kids. Besides she is portraying to me that my kids want nothing to do with me anymore. They have been brain washed completely. They are very young to understand anything as of now. For the children, i have put forth the demand to the lawyer for child visitation rights but she and her folks are even going to make this scenario not so easy for me. I cannot force her legally to move back as she also has a European passport and has her extended family in London. I think i just lost 7 years of my life and a family that i would die for!!
I know i have to stay strong in order to face what’s coming next. The worst part is that this divorce is very ugly and both families are also involved. I hope what you have said is true. I hope someday my kids see and understand what happened to their Dad. I really hope they do. Till date no regrets from her, i don’t think she has any. Found her old cell Samsung S4, it had a lot of evidence from which one really disturbed me the most. It goes as such to her affair as written by her in a text message:
"C im der in ur life today.. bt den may b tmrw im nt der.. So hav as much fun wit me as u want.. u will nt get ny kind of complain.. At the end of it .. its just a give n take relation tat we hav.. I give u wateva u want n hav taken smthin vry imo frm u... my child ... N u also shud b satisfied by nw.. Coz i hav neva stopped u frm doin nythin wit me"
I am so disgusted to read what she had to write to him. There were nude photos and videos send to him as well. I did not know this woman at all. The woman i once called my wife was lost down the road!!
At the end of the day, i asked her what happiness she achieved by doing all this. I asked her why she broke this happy family apart. I asked her why did she cheat, why didn't she talk to me about it if she had any problems! I told her i loved her so much but cannot be with her henceforth. I told her every move that she had made behind my back had a consequence to it. And her's was to live without me knowing she had the perfect man, the perfect lover, the perfect friend as a husband. At the time i caught her with her affair, i was such a gentlemen not to even abuse her verbally forget physically (I cannot do that and never will to any women). I guess God will show her in his own time of what a fool she had been. I have a good record and am a law abiding citizen. I am known to my entire community as a gentleman. She has lost all the respect and everyone looks at her now only to judge her. They feel it for my kids though when they see my kids along with her. I don’t know how far she is going to take good care of them with the character that she has shown. Hope things go my way. Have applied also for a Parental DNA request for the third child with the lawyer/court. Hope i get to see the light. My mistake was to trust her blindly and i was way to open minded and always gave her freedom. She didn't know how to use it wisely or draw a line. She's 27 and I’m 29.
I loved my lady more than myself. My only mistake was to trust her blindly. “I realize it“. I gave this woman my everything, everything I had in me. I am so restless nowadays; it even seems difficult to breathe. The kids are way too small to understand and nothing is coming my way. I may end up losing everything emotionally. I have decided to move on to another state and start my life from scratch. Leave my job, sell of my house, everything! I only need peace of mind as of now and I need my peaceful sleep back. After the incident day, I have been very disturbed and not been myself at all. I have also realized that it was always me who wanted to fight for her and I always have. Hence she showed me in the past 5 months that I didn’t mean anything to her as she didn’t even bother to call me once, meeting would be a fairytale.
I truly don't know how this is going to end for me... As good Samaritans kindly advise me what i can do to help myself...
Any more experienced people out there please add in your valuable comments...