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The worst husband ever

I cheated on my wife

Wednesday, March 9, 2016 7:46 AM by SorryForWhatIDid Rating: +25|-3

I cheated on my wife of less than 3 years with a co-worker (who is not even in the same league as my wife when it comes to looks) of mine who was transferred to my area during a transision period. I knew what I was doing was wrong, I knew that if my wife found out she would leave me, yet I still did it. I feel awful about the choice I made and ever since the day I did it I have been filled with guilt from my actions. When we first started talking it was strictly busness, well so I thought. She started asking for me to come fix issues with the building that she was in (thats my job) Every time I just thought it was a legit concern, but to find out later it was just a way to get me alone. We started talking alot as she helped me learn the new computer system our compnay switched to. Over a couple weeks it turned into talking more about other things and almost nothing about work. I told her about my wife and how I loved her, about our family, about my house and friends. I truly was happy with my life.  Soon after that it became turned into sexual flurtations. Durnig all this I was still telling my wife I love her and living life like nothing was wrong. the sexual flirtations came down to an invite to a hotel in which I excepted. I dont remember much about how it really got to that point I just remember meeting her there and having a really hard time to preform as the guilt instantly came over me as I walk into the room. I had such a hard time that I just stopped took a super fast shower and left. I went home the whole way angry at myself for allowing it to even start let alone go so far. That nite I remember being nervous I remember trying to hide my thoughts but she knew something was on my mind. I just blew off every question with just stressed with work. The next day when I talked to my co-worker she asked if I was ok. I told her it could never happen again and that I wanted to tell my wife. She advised against it. We kept talking but nothing like before, it was now all about my guilt and regret and about telling my wife. about a week went by and I recieved a call from her husband apparently he found out. So now I had to cut all ties which I was more than happy to do, I was relieved that she was out of my life. So a few weeks went by and the guilt was eating me up inside. I wanted to tell my wife, I wanted to come clean several times, I just didn't know how. I knew it would crush her, and she would probably leave me. Well it happened all on it own, the OW's H emailed her with all the details, plus some. The plus some is things that I was not part of. apparently I was not the only man she was messing around with although she told him that I was. Guess to make what she was doing seem not as bad to him. He told my wife her name, the where and when as well as that I gave his wife and him an STD. I had never had an STD before and never messed around with anyone so I thought maybe this was from years eairlier when I was single. I at first denied it, even though I finally had the oppertunity I so wanted to come clean, but seeing her face and how much pain it was causing her I just couldnt bring myself to tell her. after about a week I decided to come clean. I told her the truth about it all. He had told her we meet up mutipul times which was not true it was only the one time. I guess those must have been the other guy she was covering for to her husband. We went to both get STD tested in which case we both were clean, proving my point that she had other people she was using me to cover for to her husband.

After a lot of fighting and tons of tears, she decided not to leave. Its now been 3 months and every single day she is still having break downs. she is throwing in my face what I did to her. I feel horrible about what I have done. The betrayal the lies I told the whole thing. I wish I could go back and not make the choices I did. I regret the whole thing. So every day I tell her how sorry I am and do my best to prove that. I have asked for forgivness and was told that she will never forgive me. She is still very angry with me and even more hurt from my actions. She dont believe me not a word I say. The once happy wife of mine who I think is drop dead gorgeous barely smiles and is almost always crying. She says hurtful things to me and I know I deserve every single one. I am doing my best to prove to her that I will never do this again, to make her happy once again. To hopefully win her heart back once again. She truly is the love of my life and I am the worst man alive for doing to her what I did. Maybe one day she will forgive me, maybe she wont leave me for betraying her the way I did. No matter what she says or does I will charish every day I have with her, good or bad as it was the last, because who knows it could be....

If you are reading this and truly love the person you are with PLEASE I BEG YOU NOT TO EVER BETRAY THEM. LOVE AND CHARISH THEM EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOU LIFE!!!!!!!!!

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Comments

Thursday, March 10, 2016 5:17 AM
Guest

   Sorry your going through this but you must do all you can do to save your marriage. Give her access to your email, phone, ect. Put an app on her phone that she can read all the message you recieve. Let her know  where you are at, at all times. Shower her with reinsurance  that you won't do it again. When she breaks down holder and on your knees ask for forgiveness. Good luck you might loose her.

 
Sunday, March 13, 2016 8:57 PM
Guest

You should go to a marriage counselor. 

 
Wednesday, March 16, 2016 9:51 AM
Guest

Why would you do it if you knew your wife would leave?

 
Friday, March 18, 2016 6:50 PM
Guest

You chose that path yourself. 

 
Monday, March 21, 2016 12:36 AM
Guest

Omg .. I can copy and paste . I have same things and I am going to stop the shit right this moment . This is not worth . Married for 10 year with 2 kids and same shit happening to me as it happen to you . Thanks for your story . It has given a good thought and not to distroy the marriage .

 
Wednesday, March 30, 2016 3:19 AM
Guest

I am a woman and my husband cheated on me. I'm just looking for honest feedback. Why would you cheat if you KNEW your wife would leave yet in the same breath say you don't want to lose her?  From your story, you say you love your wife yet you still went ahead and did what you did. Why? Do you subconsciously hate your wife? Why did you do it if you didn't want to lose her? The reason I ask is because these are the questions my husband can't seem to answer and maybe asking someone who seems to be in the same shoes will help me get a better understanding of everything. I hope you and your wife are able to work things out, you seem to be genuinely sorry for what you did. Thank you for any help or advise you can give 

 
Sunday, May 1, 2016 6:41 AM
Jason

...in response to the last comment;

We are human. We make mistakes and REALLY bad choices sometimes. Like he said, he fell into the temptation because he thought his wife would never know (therefore, never being hurt). Some cheating spouses (myself), needed to learn the hard lesson in life that teaches us to simply talk to our spouses about our crazy feelings, ...before they lead into the ultimate bad choice of betrayal. Everything comes down to communication (at least in my scenario). 

You know the saying 'once a cheater, always ... ', that's not true. Once a cheater, you know the severe consequences and pain that it brought to the person you love more than anything. A cheater will always have those temptations and it will still be hard for them. But it becomes a recognizable choice from a hard lesson learned and anybody can change from it (...can't say much for a habitual cheater!). 

To sum it up, no, the cheating spouse did not hate you (him/her). 

*I am not a therapist (although my wife and I have been doing a lot, ...a whole lot of marriage counseling.)

 
Sunday, May 1, 2016 8:31 PM
Guest

im against cheating and would never do it. you seem like a good man but this story broke my heart. you really have lucked out with your wife. most woman including me would have left. treat her like gold. im sorry but i dont think things will ever be good in your marriage ever again, but its always worth trying if you love her.

 
Monday, May 23, 2016 6:56 PM
the betrayed wife

Your story sounds very similar to my husband's story. It was in the 3rdyear of our marriage and I was pregnant with our 2nd child. He told me the truth 2.5 weeks before our 10 year anniversary. I have gone through Hell and back trying to understand his betrayal. I'm beyond devastated but what really helped me was my relationship with God, my husband doing  everything to let me vent, cry, ask questions (he claims he doesn't remember a whole lot since it was 8 years ago) so I don't know a lot of  answers which is the hardest part for me but I'm trying to move on from that and accept that he did a very stupid mistake and seems remorseful about it. He knows that if he violates any of my boundaries I've set for our marriage then I'm filing for divorce. We have 3 kids and it would kill me but I refuse to be disrespected again. Best way to heal your marriage is to involve God in your lives and marriage, be 100% honest and transparent all the time, treat her like a Queen every day to prove to her she is everything to you, take the shit she dishes you because you do deserve it and know she is hurting so badly that her hurtful words is her way of hurting you back BUT she has to learn that isn't going to repair your marriage. She has to accept it and move forward which is the hardest thing ever when you've been betrayed by someone who you thought loved you with the same monogamous heart you had. It takes time but it's possible to get past it. I'm almost 3.5 months since D-day and I'm doing really well now. I have bad days once in awhile but it's getting better because my husband shows me everyday that I'm his everything since he made that horrible mistake and I can live with it.

 

 
Wednesday, August 17, 2016 8:37 AM
Guest

The bitch that my husband is crazy after is born on March 13th 1983...... The date this article is posted. I think such men dont deserve good women. Once they cheat, they will always cheat.  When they are not satisfied with beautiful wives and good hearted women, they will accuse the woman of all silly matters and keep running after bitches who are ready for such men. 

 

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