Wednesday, March 9, 2016 7:46 AM by SorryForWhatIDid
I cheated on my wife of less than 3 years with a co-worker (who is not even in the same league as my wife when it comes to looks) of mine who was transferred to my area during a transision period. I knew what I was doing was wrong, I knew that if my wife found out she would leave me, yet I still did it. I feel awful about the choice I made and ever since the day I did it I have been filled with guilt from my actions. When we first started talking it was strictly busness, well so I thought. She started asking for me to come fix issues with the building that she was in (thats my job) Every time I just thought it was a legit concern, but to find out later it was just a way to get me alone. We started talking alot as she helped me learn the new computer system our compnay switched to. Over a couple weeks it turned into talking more about other things and almost nothing about work. I told her about my wife and how I loved her, about our family, about my house and friends. I truly was happy with my life. Soon after that it became turned into sexual flurtations. Durnig all this I was still telling my wife I love her and living life like nothing was wrong. the sexual flirtations came down to an invite to a hotel in which I excepted. I dont remember much about how it really got to that point I just remember meeting her there and having a really hard time to preform as the guilt instantly came over me as I walk into the room. I had such a hard time that I just stopped took a super fast shower and left. I went home the whole way angry at myself for allowing it to even start let alone go so far. That nite I remember being nervous I remember trying to hide my thoughts but she knew something was on my mind. I just blew off every question with just stressed with work. The next day when I talked to my co-worker she asked if I was ok. I told her it could never happen again and that I wanted to tell my wife. She advised against it. We kept talking but nothing like before, it was now all about my guilt and regret and about telling my wife. about a week went by and I recieved a call from her husband apparently he found out. So now I had to cut all ties which I was more than happy to do, I was relieved that she was out of my life. So a few weeks went by and the guilt was eating me up inside. I wanted to tell my wife, I wanted to come clean several times, I just didn't know how. I knew it would crush her, and she would probably leave me. Well it happened all on it own, the OW's H emailed her with all the details, plus some. The plus some is things that I was not part of. apparently I was not the only man she was messing around with although she told him that I was. Guess to make what she was doing seem not as bad to him. He told my wife her name, the where and when as well as that I gave his wife and him an STD. I had never had an STD before and never messed around with anyone so I thought maybe this was from years eairlier when I was single. I at first denied it, even though I finally had the oppertunity I so wanted to come clean, but seeing her face and how much pain it was causing her I just couldnt bring myself to tell her. after about a week I decided to come clean. I told her the truth about it all. He had told her we meet up mutipul times which was not true it was only the one time. I guess those must have been the other guy she was covering for to her husband. We went to both get STD tested in which case we both were clean, proving my point that she had other people she was using me to cover for to her husband.
After a lot of fighting and tons of tears, she decided not to leave. Its now been 3 months and every single day she is still having break downs. she is throwing in my face what I did to her. I feel horrible about what I have done. The betrayal the lies I told the whole thing. I wish I could go back and not make the choices I did. I regret the whole thing. So every day I tell her how sorry I am and do my best to prove that. I have asked for forgivness and was told that she will never forgive me. She is still very angry with me and even more hurt from my actions. She dont believe me not a word I say. The once happy wife of mine who I think is drop dead gorgeous barely smiles and is almost always crying. She says hurtful things to me and I know I deserve every single one. I am doing my best to prove to her that I will never do this again, to make her happy once again. To hopefully win her heart back once again. She truly is the love of my life and I am the worst man alive for doing to her what I did. Maybe one day she will forgive me, maybe she wont leave me for betraying her the way I did. No matter what she says or does I will charish every day I have with her, good or bad as it was the last, because who knows it could be....
If you are reading this and truly love the person you are with PLEASE I BEG YOU NOT TO EVER BETRAY THEM. LOVE AND CHARISH THEM EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOU LIFE!!!!!!!!!