Tuesday, March 7, 2017 6:53 PM by Guest
I am really confused right now. Happy yet depressed. I got married when i was 19 to my high school boyfriend. At the time i thought i knew what i wanted and he was it. Im 23 now and life with him isnt what i expected.
Hes changed, ive changed. I no longer get the attention from him that i use to anymore. The attraction between us is barely there. I dont look at him the way i use to. Dont get me wrong, we still love each other, we still get along pretty good. Im just not attracted to him and maybe he feels the same about me. Our sex life has died down. Our first year, at least 2 times a week. Now its like 3 times a month.
Work doesnt make things easier for us. We work different shifts. I see him maybe 3 hrs a day during the week. At times it does feel like we are just roomates sharing the same bed.
At work theres this guy i use to walk pass all the time in the hallways. Looking at him gets me that butterfly feeling. Through some gossip from some of the gals i overheard hes single, 25, and a supervisor at a different department at my workplace. He caught me looking at me once while we walked passed each other and said good morning. So from there on that was our daily ritual, we said good morning to each other. He was just "The Guy" that i walked pass every morning in the hallway.
One day a coworker friend of mine asked if i wanted to go out with her and a few others for a few drinks after work. Ive always turned it down but i have nothing going on at home. I dont have kids, no pets, husband is at work. So i figure i go and have a little fun.
We got there and sat down at a table. The Guy sat down across from me. I was a bit shocked to see him there. I wasnt expecting him. He shook my hand and we introduced ourselves. We talked here and there. After a few drinks i caught him looking at me. He quickly looked away but too late buddy. I was really crushing on this guy. I started to wonder if he felt the same.
I started going out with the co-workers and the guy always showed up too. We talked alot. We started sitting next to each other and had our own private conversations. I vented a lot about life. He told me a lot about his. I enjoyed talking to him. He understood me. I understood him. He asked for my number so we can text each other. I gaved it to him. We started texting just a little here and there.
One night while i was out with my friends from work, everyone left early except me and the guy. That was our first one on one. I really enjoyed it. We talked and joked and we stared at each other the whole night. He made me really happy. I got home and felt depressed. I was really attracted to this guy but i love my husband. I was so confused.
I was not going to stop going out with my coworkers. It was a once a week thing usually fridays after work. I looked foward to it. That was the highlight of the week. One night when i was with the group, i had a little too much so i said my byes. The Guy said hes going to go to so we walked out together and started walking to our cars. We got to a set of lights and was standing there waiting for the walk sign to turn on. I complained i was freezing. He walked up behind me and held me. I didnt fight him off. Instead i held his arms that was wrapped around me. We walked a little further and he said his car was that way so he said he will see me next time. I told him to wait. I walked towards him and kissed him. The fireworks were all there. We made out for at least 10 minutes.
Weeks have passed. The Guy and I have been just kissing here and there. Weve met up a few times outside of work.
He invited me over to his place for a movie and dinner he cooked up. I enjoyed my time with him. He makes me feel special. I got comfortable with his place and i started spending a lot of my time there when the husband was at work. Theres been times it got a little too steamy and he tried to unbutton me. I wanted it but i didnt let him. Hes said before he wished i wasnt married.
One night with him while we were kissing at his place i took off my pants and we made love. From the first time we hung out in the bar till now, that was about 5 months. It felt great. I felt perfect. Next day i felt really guilty. As of right now that is the only time ive slept with him but honestly i like him a lot. I love my husband. I am so confused with life right now.