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T.R.

My wife cheated on me

Friday, January 22, 2016 9:16 AM by Guest Rating: +12|-7

Married for 13 years. 3 kids (none from our marriage). Separated for about a year and a half. She moved in with grandparents. We were still working on things. Going out, spending nights together. Trying to fix what was wrong. And then for a week she doesn't contact me. Then I text her and she finally responds. I tell her I was worreid and had not heard from her for days. She replies, "so." And then about a week later she tells me she doesn't want to do it anymore. But never tells me about another man. Even denies it when I ask. 

 

Long story short, I finally, a few weeks later, get her to admit she is with another man. Worst time of my life. She is with him for a little over 2 months. He stays at her grandparents with her, they tavel all around. Meet all our old friends. Do things we used to do.  The whole times i am desperately trying to talk to her. She blows me off. Then out of the blue, she texts me that she is in a bad place and should never have done it. And that the guy is scary and controlling. 

So my dumb self rescues her. Brings her back. And then we discover she is pregnant. She actually considers keeping it. 

It's been over a year now, we have been off and on. And I just don't think I can get past it. Especially the sex part. Her excuse is she thought we were over and she was drinking and smoking a lot of pot (2 things I don't do).  

Any advice?  She does seem desparate for us and remorseful, but I just don't think I can let this go. 

Tags: Kids;

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Saturday, January 23, 2016 12:09 AM
Mark

Wow I'm sorry to hear all that must be a lot on your shoulders. I don't know if I could take that first I would make sure the child wasn't mine you never know. Then if it was I would definitely tell her the smoking drinking etc.. Stops if you want to be together. I understand that she maybe disappointed in herself but harming a unborn child is just reckless and you don't need that. Then if you find out the baby isn't yours I would really consider my options. I'm not trying to sound like an ass but if you don't have kids together it makes a separation a lot less painful. You seem like a decent hard working respectable guy go find someone to be happy with enjoy your kids. Life's to short to be miserable worrying if it's only a matter of time until she does it again. 

 
Saturday, January 23, 2016 8:14 AM
Guest

Thanks for the reply!.

This is my story so let me add:  My wife did not carry the baby full term. Too unhealthy. And it was for sure NOT mine. 

She is really working on trying to make everything better, but the sex thing just tears me up. Esp. because I also know detials of what they did. 

 

I just don't know what to do. 

 
Saturday, January 23, 2016 5:07 PM
Marie

My brother went through something similar to your situation about 8 years ago. Him and his wife separated for a while but decided to give it another try because unlike you they had children together. They are still together now and are doing very good. All it takes is time and willingness to make it work. If you still love her you owe it to yourself to try. I can tell you love her still or you would not be looking for a way to forget her being with someone else. Problem is that you will never forget it. Just grow pass it and let your love carry the both of you. I'm sorry it happened to you but you can get your life back.

 
Sunday, January 24, 2016 5:37 AM
fulltank

go leave and save yourself

 
Sunday, January 24, 2016 5:41 AM
fulltank

or stay and be miserable

 
Monday, January 25, 2016 9:26 AM
Guest

She has kids with one man.  Then she hooks up with you.  She then lies to you while she is screwing someone else.  This looks like a pattern and I think you will be cheated on again.  Grow some balls, leave her and look for a good woman.

 
Sunday, February 7, 2016 5:03 PM
Guest

Your the master of your own destiny mate

 
Monday, February 8, 2016 2:17 AM
Guest

hi there,

im truly sorry to hear what your wife has done, although she has been insanely wrong i strongly believe that you shouldnt give up on the people you love. she was weak and made a mistake that im sure she wouldnt ever think of doing again, maybe you should try and make thing work.

everyone messes up, makes crazy choices and you should be the better someone, for the love you guys do have for each other.

take my advise, be the best that you can and forgive if not forget and she will love you more due to the fact that you have accepted her with her flaws.

My kindest regards,

xoxo

 

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