I apologize in advance, this is going to be a rant.
I am an over the road, cross border truck driver from Canada. I have been doing this for about 1.5 years. I am married, and have been for 8 years. My wife and I have 2 beautiful girls ages 5 and 7.
I love my wife but things have been very strained for the last 6 months. Much of our problems are money related. I set a realistic budget that needs to be followed for it to work, and my wife doesn't care. She spends as much money as she wants on whatever she wants. She either doesn't get it or doesn't care. Every time I try to talk to her about it she just says sorry and that she won't do it again. She will repeat this even the next day.
She has been pushing me away for a while now. I try to do things spontaneously together but it's hard. The kids are her priority, they are for me as well. She doesn't make an effort to be affectionate with me, even though I try. I understand that the kids come first but she needs to realize that there are times when they can wait.
We lead a boring sex life. She doesn't want to kiss me, because I have bad breath. She doesn't want me to go down on her either, which is sad because I like doing it. It has been almost 6 months since we had sex. She always starts fights as an excuse not to have sex. She will warn me not to argue, and just say that she is right, or I won't get sex. She literally has the happy wife happy life mentality. It is literally her way or no way. I always get walked all over. If it wasn't for the kids, I don't think I would go home.
So while working as a truck driver, I met another truck driver who is pretty much my exact counterpart. She is married and dissatisfied with her relationship with her husband. She has 2 boys a year younger than my girls. I met up with her in Pennsylvania back in November. We talked and found we had so much in common.
I met her again in March in Indianapolis and we talked some more. Nothing really happened but I got her number and we would text each other from time to time.
She sent me a text message in April, asking where I was going to be. It turned out we would both be in Chicago that night. We went shopping together and bought a few things needed for the next week and did the laundry. We went back to her truck and talked some more. I started rubbing her back and we looked at each other and we made out for like 20 minutes. She and I both stripped down. I ate her pussy for nearly 40 minutes bringing her to a few orgasms. She gave me a condom and I fucked her for a while. Then we spent another half-hourmaking out. It was so hot.
I know I am supposed to feel guilty, but honestly I don't. I feel justified by how my wife was treating me. How can I make her realize that what she is doing is hurting me so much. I want things to get better but I don't think they will. Leaving my job is not an option, nor is local work for economic reasons.
My bigger problem is that I am falling in love with my affair partner. It realistically can't work. She's American and I'm Canadian. I can't move to the U.S., she can't move to Canada either. She says that she's only staying with her husband for the kids
Now I've accidentally become the stereotypical truck driver, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I used to joke with my wife that what happens on the road stays on the road, and now that's accurate.