Looking for some honest feedback. About four years ago my husband admitted to me that he cheated on me. It was with some random woman at a bar.  He was completely drunk and it only happened once. I decided since we had two children and I loved him immensely and I would try to make my marriage work. We went to marriage counseling and our marriage seemed to improve mainly because we worked on our communication. I became pregnant with our third child and after that pregnancy I started to struggle with our marriage. Moving past the affair became more difficult. Maybe I was a little postpartum I don't know but we stop communicating and the distance greew. We both began conversing and confiding in coworkers. My husband and I work different shifts and so we don't see each other at home much. At the time we didn't put much effort into spending time together so that made things even worse.  One day I came home and he was in an extraordinarily bad mood I asked him what was wrong and what had been wrong for a long period of time he told me he wasn't in love with me anymore.  I asked him to move out and stay with his parents for a while. It turns out his friendship with the coworker had cross the line and he had or what he thought at the time fallen in love with her. His parents kicked him out and he moved in with her because he had nowhere else to go. After about a month he moved into his own apartment. I was so emotionally broken at that time I had considered divorce. He is a wonderful father.  He would take the kids on his two days off and it was nice for me to have some time to myself. We started seeing a marriage counselor again and this time he seem to take things a lot more seriously.  He admitted to me that after our first son was born he had oral relations with the woman from work. So overall he was unfaithful three times. About a year later he moved home and we have since had our fourth child. I would never trade any of my children I love them all very much  just as I love my husband  with every fiber of my being. He has made so many efforts to change and be the husband and father he always should have been. Sometimes I really struggle to put the pieces back together  to trust again. I'm afraid he's going to cheat again even though he says he will never cheat on me again. I always say the tiger never changes his stripes and his reply is the only thing he can do is regain my trust and if it takes the rest of his life that's what he'll do.  so I play detective when I am concerned and I confront him which reveals the fact that I'm overreacting and making a mountain out of a mole hill. He answers all my questions he even loaded a GPS tracker  on my phone and his so I can see his location and he can see mine. It's been almost 2 years since the last affair. I want to move on I want to stop hating the other woman  and allowing her to have power over me. I want to love my husband with my whole heart again. I pray that this happens  Time and patience. But I still ask the question "Am I a fool?"