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Was it right?

My wife cheated on me

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 12:59 PM by Guest Rating: +28|-22

So me and my wife have been married for 10 years she's 36 I'm 38 and we have two beautiful kids and every thing is going great. My wife is the perfect woman she always tells me she loves me she's a great mom very supportive and from I think I'm a good husband. So one day I come home from work the kids are still at school and my wife calls me into the kitchen to talk. I ask her what's wrong she tells me she's been having an affair. She's been seeing this guy from her job and she explains to me that she's been seeing him because I'm not good enough in the bed room for her and she gives me the sob story of I'm so sorry and all that and I scream at her. I don't know what it was but I just go ballistic on saying " why would you do this" " your a horrible wife" and she starts crying. So I leave the house and spend the night at my brothers. The next morning I tell all our friends and family about the affair and I go back home telling my wife I want a divorce. She keep pleading with me for a second chance and I ignore her. I wasn't thinking about our kids or if she felt sorry I just ignore her.But to make it worse her parents, siblings, and friends are treating her like that as well. So we get the divorce I move out of the house we share coustady of the kids and I'm wonder if I should have treated her like that or if I should go find another woman or if I'll ever be happy again. I just feel like my life's gon to shit in a hell storm, I just want to know if there's any hope for me. Any advice?

Tags: Divorce; Kids;

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Comments

Wednesday, May 25, 2016 2:18 PM
the guy

You did the right thing. Your wife made a horrible mistake and she paid for it.

 
Wednesday, May 25, 2016 4:47 PM
Guest

Well her reason for doing it was messed up. Talk about a kick to the nuts. If my wife told me that I would have to leave because now I will never feel like a man with her. She would never be able to make me feel good about myself ever again. Can we get an update? Just make sure you focus on the kids

 
Wednesday, May 25, 2016 4:54 PM
Guest

Did you ever ask her why she came out and told you? Was it guilt? Or was she about to get caught? Women tend to have a funny reason for confessing and it's not always because she feels guilty. A lot of times it's because shit starts to hit the fan. But I agree with the comment above. Her reason is cause for divorce. That hurts. I don't know how you can swallow that. If the sex isn't good enough for her then why stay married. And if that's the case she will eventually cheat again

 
Wednesday, May 25, 2016 7:12 PM
Guest

you did the right thing, everyone deserves to know what type of woman this is. Unfortunatly though I must say that you need to get your kids dna tested. my own past dictates I tell you to do so. 

 
Wednesday, May 25, 2016 8:36 PM
Guest

You did the right thing dude.  It's funny how they alway want you to be understanding and give them another chance when they had no consideration for you or any kids involved.  And don't be worrying about how others are treating her.  It was her actions that brought on the consequences.  Now the consequences are for her to deal with.  Move on and find yourself a good woman who truly loves you.  They're out there.  Best of luck to you.

 
Thursday, May 26, 2016 12:25 AM
Guest

lol dumb ass you ruined your family because you couldnt satisfy her and then when she admits to her wrong doing and tries to tell you about it you just get mad and dont listen to anything listen man i get that your pissed and your wife did a really bad thing but she also tried to own up to it people make mistakes and besides this all was because you couldnt satisfy her lol so i sure hope ruining your family was worth it over sex. marriage isnt based off of sex and you let that ruin your life nice job moron

 
Thursday, May 26, 2016 1:55 AM
Guest

To the above comment your wrong. She was wrong for not communicating that before she cheated. Cheating isn't a mistake it's a choice. Taking a wrong turn is a mistake. She chose to cheat rather then talk. And who's to say she's good in bed. Most women are not good in bed even when they think they are. It takes two to tango. 

 
Thursday, May 26, 2016 8:24 AM
Guest

the wifes confession and asking for forgiveness was okay and I probabily live with that and work on reconcilliation. Depending on why and how long. But she really ending this marriage by saying he was inadicate in bed. No man Could live with that. She ended this marriage. Stupid, sad, whatever. Why confess .

 
Thursday, May 26, 2016 4:08 PM
LanaH102

You did the right thing indeed! From one woman i can tell you this. Woman always say sex with you became a bore, you're no good in bed etc etc.. It's all about an opportunity just to have sex with someone different. You seem a good man. Move on quickly from her and live a great life. :)

 
Friday, May 27, 2016 8:44 AM
Alpha

The comment above is wise. It's never the fault of women, they will always tell you that it's YOUR FAULT if she wants to get fucked by another man (always a collegue). Don't blame her for being a bitch, blame her for being disprectful to you and let her down. The worst is not being a cuckold, the worst is to be weak.

 
Saturday, May 28, 2016 6:39 AM
Albert

You did the right thing. it is your ex wife who destroyed your family not you. 

 
Saturday, May 28, 2016 12:38 PM
Guest

Im sorry to hear that. So...according to this the emotional state of your marriage was great, but according to her the physical sex wasn't good. You made the right decision leaving her. If a women thinks that sex is bad, she is not suposed to cheat, she is supposed to talk it out with you to make it better. If that is what she thinks then she doesn't deserve you, find someone who will love you for everything. A lot of women say that they prefer a good guy who likes to communicate over a guy who just wants sex. You just need to find one of those women. Good luck :)

 
Monday, May 30, 2016 2:48 PM
Guest

Sex is bad? Now she tells you?! How about before she cheated? Sex is a mechanical act. There is no one way to have good sex. She could have had great sex with you if she worked at it a little bit. No, it wasn't the sex that was bad - it was your wife. She was bad. She lied and cheated. She is full of shit. She is a selfish bitch and guess what? She doesn't love you or the kids! If she did she would never have cheated over "bad sex"!!! Your ex is a liar. Your biggest problem now is that you must admit you are gullible and a poor judge of characters, worse yet - you left your kids behind with that lying, cheating whore that doesn't give enough of a shit about them not to wreck thier home and ruin their futures!!! Get this through your head - she is a shithead! Do not care about her, do not defend her, do your best to get your kids away from her evil influence and shut her out forever!

 
Wednesday, June 1, 2016 7:32 PM
Robert

almost same thing happen to me . I stayed and trying to work it out.. I wish I left ..but I for the kid I should at least try .Well this is what I did take a look at your marriage. and look at the problems. For me I was drinking a lot and just got out of shape and other things ..her she's was being to controlling putting her job first and being a slut.. Read online thers help on how to make a marriage work and happy  .. It's been 360  I don't really drink and I'm in better shape and she quit her job and we both are pulling our weight.. But it's still hard it still hurts 

 
Thursday, June 2, 2016 6:28 AM
Robert Amundsen

I just found out today that my wife cheated on me. I caught her in a lie and forced it out of her. She told me I wasn't making her feel wanted or beautiful but I always told her that she was the perfect woman for me and that I loved her just the way she was. I do love her but this is the second time she's betrayed my trust (the first was within our first  week together as acouple, and she told me straight out. She was going threw some serious stress at the time and I forgave her instantly) I don't want to lose her at all because no matter how much she hurt me I still love her so much, but there's no way she could ever get me to trust her again. We've been married 4 years now and I just don't want to believe it's over. It's hard to move past the great memories we've had together and just leave them behind me. In reality it's what I have to do if I have any self respect but it's just so damn hard. But you can't be with someone you can't trust.

 
Thursday, June 2, 2016 12:49 PM
Robert Amundsen

I just found out today that my wife cheated on me. I caught her in a lie and forced it out of her. She told me I wasn't making her feel wanted or beautiful but I always told her that she was the perfect woman for me and that I loved her just the way she was. I do love her but this is the second time she's betrayed my trust (the first was within our first  week together as acouple, and she told me straight out. She was going threw some serious stress at the time and I forgave her instantly) I don't want to lose her at all because no matter how much she hurt me I still love her so much, but there's no way she could ever get me to trust her again. We've been married 4 years now and I just don't want to believe it's over. It's hard to move past the great memories we've had together and just leave them behind me. In reality it's what I have to do if I have any self respect but it's just so damn hard. But you can't be with someone you can't trust.

 
Sunday, June 5, 2016 7:53 AM
Truth teller

Eh - your reaction tells me a lot about you. You go and tell everyone like a fucking tattle telling baby? How unloving was that to do? Yes, she was wrong for what she did. She was wrong to blame it on your performance in bed. But at least she told you. You obviously are immature emotionally which was really the problem in the first place. My bet would be that she didn't feel like she could really connect with you in a way woman need to connect with their husband. I'm not saying what she did was right, but you ripping her down and exposing her like that to her friends and family is probably the most cowardly thing I've read in a long time. You should've been a fucking man and kept that shit between you and your wife. God it annoys me to death thinking of that. Grow the fuck up and learn to handle pain. Be a man and work on that for a while before you go back and see if things are worth fixing with your now ex wife. Everyone fails. Everyone. Even you, you little cry baby. 

 
Sunday, June 5, 2016 8:46 AM
Guest

Truth teller your full of shit. You will never know what pain is until it happens to you. You have yet to hit your rock bottom which is why your talking shit. It's easy to think when you don't have a million of negative images going thru your head. He obviously knows what he did was wrong which is why he's asking was it right. He's not an idiot. You are. At then end of the day a relationship is a 2 way street. Either get on or get off

 
Sunday, June 5, 2016 12:32 PM
Guest

An affair, and it's aftermath, are all about choices.  Sure, there may be problems in the marriage.  Each spouse has a choice on whether or not to work them out.  Your wife made her choice.  She started an affair, which means she didn't want to work on the problems.  Now the ball is in your court.  You can decide to forgive and continue on in the marriage, or you can dump her and move on with your life.  You had no say in your wife's choice, so she has no say in yours.  You make the choice that is best for you, and she must accept it.

 
Sunday, June 5, 2016 2:06 PM
Truth teller

I have been cheated on. Did it hurt? Fuck yes it did. Did I run to Mommy and Daddy, all our friends and family and cry about it? No. That's as much a betrayal of trust as cheating is (to me at least). Images going through your head is a controlable event. You don't have to keep "playing" it over and over. Such hypocrisy in marriage. Most people don't fuck around for no reason. Shit happens and it should be worked out in the marriage. Such fucking babies. 

 
Sunday, June 5, 2016 2:29 PM
Guest

Yea truth teller your still bitter about you situation lol. That's anger coming from you

 
Tuesday, June 7, 2016 6:50 AM
Guest

she tell u the truth

 
Monday, June 13, 2016 12:53 PM
Guest

All I can tell you is this, at least your wife was honest with you.. yes she cheated but at least she didn't do what most women do and that is to methodically start to pick fights with you  over time so that when she gets caught she will say that you were abusive and neglectful etc. This way she justifies her deed. Your wife simply became very sexual aroused by another man and just couldn't help herself the urge of a woman being married 10 years coupled with the fact that women have periods in their lives when the become crazy horny doesn't help matters ( age 28- 36). Dont hate her just try to understand it and make a decision whether you will forgive her or diverse her...unless she is adament in leaving you then who want someone that doesn't want you anyway. Move on and be happy.!

 
Tuesday, June 14, 2016 2:19 AM
H85

3 years married down the drain plus the one that we had as a couple, i found some messages on her phone asking some dude at work that if he wanted to stay in a hotel with her on the weekend. When i confronted her she spill the beans and said that it was just recent that nothing happened (yeah right) after that she left the house saying that she needs time to think things through and if she really wants to continue with me. At this point am so emotionally attached to my wife that all my life revolves around her, we agreed to go to marriage counseling but i don't know what to do... If i should hate her, give her a chance or if she really wants to be with me. What do you guys think? 

 
Tuesday, June 21, 2016 9:13 AM
HornDog
What made her come clean on that one day in particular? I don't know. But if she did it because your performance wasn't up to par, then this could have been avoided by her helping you get better. Plus, let's get real; if she didn't like your performance, then how would she know the other guys would be any better? She wouldn't. not until she had them. So what if you told your family? She opened that door not you. If she didn't want that getting out, then she should have kept it in her pants. And as for a mistake - once is a mistake (possibly with benefit of doubt) but an affair is not. An affair takes planning. I wonder if the guy was threatening to tell you?
 
Wednesday, June 22, 2016 12:50 AM
Guest

He did the right thing. There is no called second chance when you wife was sleeping with other guy, I know you have kids but lives go on. Why is the purpose of marriage if you keeping thnking if she is ever going to cheat again. There are many single women out there. Live your cheating ex behind. 

 
Friday, June 24, 2016 12:33 PM
Guest

We are all liable to fall and sin. You and she are human beings who can be tempted and seduced. Suppose this happened to you, what would you say about it? What would her reaction would be? I know it is sooooo hard to forgive, but if forgiveness is going to lead to kepping the family together again and for benefit of your kid, you have to think it over again and try to make new rules because it is much more difficult to make peace than war. Jesus Christ forgave the slut and she came back again to the right road. Put your rules and try to start a new chapter with her for the sake of the family. madiqan@yahoo.com

 
Wednesday, July 20, 2016 1:44 PM
Guest

If it were me I hope I would have kept the details private. As bad as what she did is its going to hurt your kids, if not now when they are older. At some point you need to take the high road and explain to your children that your wife was not fully at fault. There is no way that you don't have some skin in the situation. How could you not know your wife was not being fulfilled in the bedroom. I find that hard to believe. In between the lines I'm hearing that you feel your wife is a good person that made a horrible error in judgement. 

Children need both parents and need to respect both parents in order to become well balanced adults. Consider ways to build her up to them. I cannot say I would have reacted any differently than you did but its easier to look at what happened from the outside, like you are doing now. Good luck.

 
Sunday, July 31, 2016 1:49 AM
Guest

If your wondering what the other side looks like ... I stayed and trying to work things out and it's not all rainbows.. Yes my family is still together and other then that I feel miserable, I feel I have no self respect, and she acts like nothing happen. So there's no right answer .. 

 

 
Sunday, July 31, 2016 11:35 AM
ALF

You've already divorced your wife, so your option is to find another woman and be happy again.  A lot of feelings and emotions in play here.  A lot of opinions too.  Consider this:  your ex needed to be present in the bedroom (with you) and in your relationship in order for any improvements to be made, if any.  Her choice to deal with the "problem" was to introduce a bigger problem into your relationship.  So not only is she unfaithful, she has a serious deficiency in rational thinking.  Such a combination will lead to further occurrences on her part.  You can "fix" the current problem, but rest assured she'll find another one to justify her actions down the road.  You needed to do what was best for your well being.  Just make sure your kids know that you love them and that you'll always be there for them.

 

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