My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and have lived together for 3 of them. I stayed home from work one day because the day before I found out my dog, who I loved more than anything, had bone cancer and was dying, and I was beyond devastated. His text messages on his iPhone were connected to his Macbook laptop through iMessages, and I decided to go through them. I actually don't know what compelled me to go through his text messages that day, since going through his phone was something I had only done once before, but for some reason I felt the need.

I found out my boyfriend had been texting his coworker screenshots of live webcam feeds from a website where girls sit in front of their webcam and strip or masturbate, and guys can interact with them live and tell the girls what they want them to do to themselves. In order to see a full 'show', you pay the girls a certain amount of money called 'tokens', which are essentially tips. My boyfriend would text his coworker (apparently this guy is the one who turned him on to the website) screen shots and write comments like "she's a tease" or "she has great tits". There were specific girls they regularly frequented and chatted with. When my boyfriend came home I confronted him, and he lied and tried to cover up the extent to which he took this website. I made him log in to his account which had the full details of his actions on the website.

He said he had only been using the site for a few months but when I logged in I found out he had been frequenting the site for 2 years. He also lied and said he never talked to the girls or paid them. Luckily for me, the website saved his entire chat history on his account and the details of his money use. I made him sit there as I read out loud every single thing he said to these girls and how much money he was paying for their services. I found out that over the 2 years he had paid an upwards of $500 to watch these girls strip, masturbate and play with themselves. He asked them to do things like "finger your ass", "Show your face, you're so beautiful!" and "those almond eyes get me every time". At one point he (jokingly?) talked about making a trip to Vegas to see one of the girls. He would watch these webcams even when I was in the next room getting ready.

Now, all of this is shitty enough, but it's not the cheating part. The cheating part is when I found out he had paid a girl for a 'special session', meaning they opened their own private webcam feed where both parties turned on their webcam and had an interactive experience. She watched him masturabate as he told her what he wanted her to say and do to herself. I had been at work and it was two days after our anniversary. He reaaaallllyyy wanted her to show her face... The webcam feed from that session was still saved in his accound history, so I opened it and made him watch the whole thing with me. Of course, my experience is a step down from someone whose boyfriend went out and physically had sex with another person, but it still crushed me all the same.