Thursday, July 21, 2016 1:18 PM by Guest
We've been together coming three years now (this september). We fought so hard for this relationship; his parents were so against us being together. He wanted to pack his bags and leave his house because he wanted to be with me. We were so in love. Last year i cheated on him when i went overseas. It was with a guy whom I was still emotionally attached to. After struggling, I told him after five months, and he went ape shit crazy. But after it all, he told me that he is willing to forgive me and forget this. Some days he would have anxiety attacks, and i fought so hard to prove myself, that i'm not a cheater.
Things were great after that, but this year, some things happened (his parents), and in March we broke things off, somewhat temporarily, but we were still very much in love. Soon, I left to do a university exchange, and i fell in love with this other guy that was in my class. and things happened from there.
When i came back, I felt the same way as i did last year. I felt like i cheated again, even though we were technically not together (cues Ross's "We're on a break!")
Honestly, I've stopped justifying why i cheated. To admit that I am a slut and would literally jump into the arms of someone who shows me the slightest bit of affection, is tough at first, but I guess I have come to terms with that. Everytime there's an emotional gap in my life, I turn to someone else. I can't be alone.
So what do i do now? My boyfriend knows about these two times I've cheated and is still willing to be with me. I see myself spending the rest of my life with him. But what's the point? I cheat because I can't be alone. So now that I know that I can't be alone, do i still continue to be with him? Or break up with him and take some time off?