Saturday, August 27, 2016 4:52 PM by Guest
Damn, I never thought I would be writing on a forum like this. But here I am. I apologize for this extremely long post but I definitely need to vent. I am 23 year old male. Let me tell you a little bit about us...we met in the 3rd grade and became best friends, and we finally dated in 2009 for 3 years before getting married in 2012. So we've been together for over 7 years. I may sound like a total square but I kinda saved myself for that special girl throughout school. I have this weird thing where sex always just seemed 'sacred' and she said she felt the same way so we were both virgins. Honestly I'm questioning whether she really was but anyways... I had multiple chances to get with girls during high school, and like a dumbass I rejected them and stayed faithful to my girlfriend. Same thing when I first attended college. We have a 4 year old daughter and twins, a boy and girl who are about to be 1. We've had our shares of problems throughout the years but we've always talked things through and we both used to share our views on infidelity and how that is never...NEVER okay. Our friends and family all have some history of cheating and we swore we would never be like them.
Well my wife woke me up this morning crying and told me we needed to talk. Shes goes on to say she cheated on me about a month ago, and apparently the other guy's wife found out and called her this morning, letting her know that she was pregnant and how my wife wrecked their family and house. I knew something was going on with her, I had that gut feeling everyone always talks about. We've been having some problems lately mainly due to lack of money, big bills, and the struggles of having kids. She said she's been so depressed lately that this guy started talking to her and apprently made her feel good, and she ended up falling for him. So one day while I was at work (I work from 2pm to 4am, and it really doesn't help that I've been working extra for overtime - just made it easier I guess) she has her mom or sister watch the kids and she goes out to meet this guy, who really lives about 40 miles away and but he came down to meet her. They go to a housing development and park somewhere, and she gets in his truck and I guess they start making out. She swears she had no intentions on doing stuff that she just wanted to hang out but I know that's bullshit. Well one thing leads to another and they fuck. She tells me that it only lasted a minute, like thats supposed to help make me feel better. I ask her tons of questions, everything from why to what happened before and after and how she could just keep that a secret. She tells me she doesn't want to seperate, that she doesn't want to divorce and that she doesn't want to leave the house. That she loves me. It's all bullshit. We all go through problems. We all experience stress, anxiety, depression, etc while in relationships and there were several things we could have to prevent that. We always said we had this relationship where we can tell each other everything, but she failed to communicate her interest in another man. I know I haven't been perfect, I've been pretty down myself due to my career and this financial crisis we've been under. Just some insight, last week we had 32 cents in the bank... 32 fucking cents with 3 kids. A lot of the money goes to bills (obviously) and my wife's unecessary spending which we always fight about. Anyways.. sorry to get off topic.
I don't know what to do... I haven't eaten, I haven't slept. I'm probably going to overdose on caffeine. I have a constant sharp pain in my chest but I basically feel numb everywhere else. I told her that we were gonna seperate for a while and see what happens from there. I missed work today because I couldn't imagine being stuck there feeling like this. I really don't have anyone to talk to, I try to not bug my friends about my issues because they're all facing problems themselves. I usually keep my problems to myself. But I need some advice from people who've been through this... I don't feel like hurting myself or anything even though I did make some dents in the walls. I have so much anger in me I can't help it. I want to go find that guy and gouge his damn eyeballs out but the "good" in me is preventing me. I plan on seeing a psychiatrist during the week. I'm trying to stay sane for my kids but... this is just too hard. I basically saved myself for her and gave her everything I had. I missed out on fun opportunities with friends and family as a teenager because I chose to spend all my time with her. And it was all for nothing... Thank you for taking the time to read this.