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What should I do

My husband cheated on me

Thursday, June 23, 2016 12:00 PM by Guest Rating: +17|-13

Hi,I'm Lilly and I need adivce this happend very recently so I have been married for 5 years I have stepkids and I love them and they love me. Their mom cheated on the husband so they haven't talked to their mom so they love me like I'm their mom. My husband,Adam, is pretty good looking, i guess, I honestly think I'm pretty hot. I'm skinny 5'6 blonde hair. So my husband was feeling sick one day when we were on vacation and the kids wanted to go eat out for lunch I decided to take them. They made a few friends and they hung out for a few days then my kids friends were going to the beach the parents offered to take them I said that was ok my husband said it was ok too. After they left my husband said that I should go eat out or buy books or something. So I went out and we were in haiwaii so it was amazing. I walked around and everything I made a few friends and it was fun. I was heading back to our house we rented it. I was walking back and I was about to open the door, but I heard some moaning so I kinda peeked in and I saw my husband and a brunnete having full on sex on the couch. I burst into tears right then and there.

 

Because I loved him. I walked around a little bit more and decided to go back home. He was on the bed and he said "Oh Lilly you're back perfect give me a kiss babe" I froze then he gave me a kiss and I could just think where those lips have been. It was hawaii and it's been a week and I don't know what to do. What should I do confront him or forget please comment

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Comments

Thursday, June 23, 2016 1:26 PM
Guest

Tell him you met another guy and that you are asking for permission to sleep with him because you can't resist and when your husband sas something that's when you bring up what you saw in hawaii. Or something in the guidelines. But his kids mother cheated on him so I'm sure your husband has insecuritiesabout the relationship he has with you. He may have lost faith in the faithful thing 

 
Thursday, June 23, 2016 1:57 PM
Guest

Tell him. Or do exactly what the person above said. See his reaction. If he gets mad or breaks you down you will be able to know how selfish he is! Cheating is cheating but if he cheats then he acts like nothing happens and doesn't show remorse then he has probably done this many times. You need to stand up for yourself. Trust me there will be someone who values you. You are strong and you said you are attractive so you will find someone else! The fact that he got cheated on should not be sympathized. He knows the feeling, the hurt, the humilation and yet he did it on someone he "loves." No, that is a pathetic excuse. If you decide to to stay with him be prepared for a long recovery because you will not forget this incident tomorrow. He has to be an open book with you and he has to make it up to you in every way possible. Lastly, if he uses you as the excuse why he cheated then your husband is a boy and should be left again....

 
Thursday, June 23, 2016 3:54 PM
Guest

Of course you have to confront him! He swore to be faithful to you and he cheated on you! You can't let him do that without any consequences. Did you talk to him about it? I mean who was that brunette. If you decide to forgive him you should assure that he's really sorry. I mean he understands how it feels to be cheated on...why would he do the same thing to the person he should love the most... Think about that and maybe you can work it out but don't just swallow your pride and forget who you are. If he has forgotten then he doesn't deserve you and you can surely find a worthy man. 

 
Thursday, June 23, 2016 5:08 PM
Guest

You cant just let it go. And he will do it again. 

 
Thursday, June 23, 2016 6:16 PM
ALF

Confront with extreme prejudice.  You husband went to great length to do this during a family vacation.  I have no doubt that he is doing it at home as well.

 
Thursday, June 23, 2016 7:12 PM
Guest

Your husband has dishonored himself. He can never regain what he threw away. You will not be satisfied with him ever again. Your love for him has been dealt a mortal blow. It will slowly die and turn into contempt. As far as you are concerned, be honest, do not keep secrets from him as he has kept them from you. Tell him you saw him. Ask him how many and for how long. Make him tell you everything. It will help burn the love for him right out of you. Contact and attorney and get a divorce. Move on with your life, chose better next time. 

 
Thursday, June 23, 2016 7:36 PM
Guest

  Baby girl stop. Leave him and his kids. He did you so dirty. You sure it wasn't  him who cheated on his ex. 

 
Saturday, June 25, 2016 7:20 AM
A male cheater

Sex is sex. I am a husband too and i cheated my wife.  I can't resist. But is just sex. I love my wife, i support her in everything. But i love sex. I love the adrenaline, the discovery of another person. I have an advice for you: Don't let this pass. Confront your husband. Don't keep this suffering for yourself. Let your husband suffer too. Let him know that you are suffering for this. But keep this in mind: Even cheating, maybe your husband still loves you. Maybe he stills feels atractted for you. Maybe. I don't know him, so obviously i can't speak for him. I speak for me and i am a cheater too. I love my wife, i admire her, i feel atracted to her. The common sense says that when we loves someone, we only feels atracted to that person. Bullshit! We are animals! We fuck! And we are individuals. Maybe some people are natural faithfull, others, natural cheaters. Sometimes i wish that my wife have sex with another person, to experiment and discover the pleasures of sex. Because i love her. And I know that she loves me.  I'm not affraid to let her be with someone else for fun. I even propose that for her, but she is a conservative (i don't know if this is the right word, english is not my native language) She doesn't accepted. But i can't. I need to live. I need to fuck other people. So i try to make this in the more discreet way possible, to not hurt her. But don't suppress your feelings. Decide if you can live with a cheating husband. Ask him why he's cheating on you. Ask him if he loves you. Ask yourself if you really wants the divorce. Your are attractive, you will find someone else. But, how do you will know that this someone else will be more faithfull than your husband? People lie. All the time. And the most important advice: Forget about crap advices on the web. Your life is yours. You decide what to do. Be brave.

 
Sunday, June 26, 2016 11:09 PM
Guest

Kick his ass

 
Monday, July 11, 2016 8:37 AM
Guest

"To the Male Cheater" You sir are an ass hole and I hope your wife divorces you! Cheaters do not admire their wives. You take advantage of your wife. You are scum. My husband cheated 3 weeks before our third child was born.  It's easy to say you love someone, much harder to show it! 

To the OP: Confront your husband! Ask him what he was doing when you went out. Give him a chance to come clean. This will eat away at you if you don't and you deserve answers. I am still with my husband. He cheated 3 months ago. Staying is the hardest thing I have ever done. I have not forgiven him but we are working toward reconciliation. His affair was a one night stand and he didn't use protection. I can't tell you if your husband loves you because I don't even know if I believe my husband loves me. The only thing I can say, is to talk to him, question him, and keep communicating. Do not keep your pain hidden, let him see the damage he has caused. You deserve better! 

 
Saturday, September 17, 2016 6:03 AM
TheBestAdvice

Based on what you described, this is probably not the first time he cheated and it probably won't be the last. To me it sounds like this woman was a prostitute and not just someone he met. Your husband probably does love you and you probably wants to stay with you. Unlike some of the situations that I see described on here, I think this relationship can be saved.

You Should be very practical in your decision on how to proceed here.  Some women choose to just ignore this type of thing.  Some women choose to leave because of it. And some women will confront their husband and try to get him to change.  You should decide which approach works best for you.  And by that  I mean works best for you, not for him and not for the family.  Women are often making decisions where they put others first.

if your husband provides the kind of financial lifestyle that you couldn't afford on your own then stay and get some money saved up and don't rock the boat. If you make enough money on your own then just leave, or try to fix things. Do whatever works best for you. 

 
Sunday, January 8, 2017 10:03 AM
Guest

You don't have kids of your own, confront him and leave now.  Actually, leave him first, then let him know why you did.  Do you have friends or family to stay with until you can get back on your feet? Find your support, stay strong, DON'T, DON'T, let his words and his lies make you waver. Most people who cheat are excellent liars, they are pros at manipulating people - don't let him do this to you.  If you take him back, you will regret it, because it will only happen again.

Cut and paste and read this article, I agree with every point in it: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/11/cheating-spouse_n_3721907.html

Let me say this again - IF YOU TAKE HIM BACK, YOU WILL REGRET IT LATER.  Couples who continue to stay together after one has cheated and have a better stronger relationship ARE VERY RARE.  What usually happens is that the one who was cheated on will ALWAYS have that doubt in their mind, cannot fully trust, and will never get over the hurt and betrayal.  Don't be this person.  YOU DESERVE BETTER.

 

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