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Wife Cheated 4 months in trying to fix it

My wife cheated on me

Saturday, February 20, 2016 7:13 PM by Robert Rating: +36|-17

 12 years married with a 6 year old and 11 year old. My wife cheated with a coworker for about a year found out 4 months ago. Just like most it hit me hard .. I went into shock.. For about 2 weeks then I was mad tryed to find the guy to beat his ass. Never found him found his wife and told her but she already knew. Then my wife was about to move out then I stop her. And I decided to try to save the marriage went to marriage builders.com and got all this information and  everything my wife seemed sorry and was doing everything she could. But the pain of betrayal is deep. The truth is we all are imperfect and forgiving is to love someone. And Then I have my moments I just hate her and feel like every one knows look there the guy with the whore wife.But I know it's all in my head .. .the way I see it ..its like breaking a bone it will heal but when it rain it's going to hurt. So I'm trying to work it .. I'm four months in it hard but each day at time.

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Comments

Wednesday, February 24, 2016 1:54 AM
Guest

Going through the exact same thing...6months in....vary between forgiving and loving her to hating her with disgust.

Honestly........not sure if its worth it anymore as i am misereble with her......

 
Wednesday, February 24, 2016 10:10 AM
Robert

yeah I know... God I know .. What ever happens at least we could look back and say we tried.

 
Wednesday, February 24, 2016 2:40 PM
Guest

Sorry about your situation I'm going through the same thing with my wife. Except she cheated with several guys. Some days it's ok and others I want to leave her. But hopefully we can all be happy 

 
Wednesday, February 24, 2016 8:16 PM
Stinky stinks

Have some self respect and quit being a dumbass. Dump her flat!

 
Thursday, February 25, 2016 7:51 AM
Robert

i tell my self that every morning 

 
Thursday, February 25, 2016 12:13 PM
B

Good grief... Where are u guys? The faithful women are out here! Your wives are idiots!!!! Karma will bite their asses but dang, to have a faithful man & you cheat? Stupid girls . Stupid stupid girls. Wish u luck! Just go! U can't meet that faithful woman until u let this mess go. U will feel much better & u will move on. Happily . Just jump. Otherwise once u go through all the work to forgive her? U will just find yourself back in this same situation .. Same cheating wife, different man a year from now. Then u just wasted time . 

 
Saturday, February 27, 2016 10:44 AM
Guest

i know what you mean my wife and i live in a small town and i work out of town so i never see anybody or rarely bump into anyone we both know. shes been a waitress for 20 yrs in same spot and i suspect shes been cheating on me for many many years. So many obvious signs and suspicions or coincidences to ignore. I have moments where i love it so much i cant stand it then have some where i am so pissed because i feel like everyone also knows but me,even her family,  and its a big joke since she doesnt even take interest in us anymore but im trying to get used to it. Sometimes i really like the idea of the busboy or a customer thats been fucking her for years or she is sucking some one elses dick at work  for better tips or showing her big tits in the car parking lot. I never go there to visit because i can see how everyone looks at me like they all know something i dont and they make odd converstation with me,  my wife acts differently when im there its strange to describe. Its like the whole town knows they are fucking each other but me.

 
Monday, February 29, 2016 11:10 PM
Guest

The only reason to stay is for the kids. She doesn't love you, she has no respect for you. Her actions have proved that. Your relationship with her is dead. What you need to assess is your relationship with your kids and what is best for them. Are they your kids? Get DNA tests. Then, are you close to them or are you an absentee dad? If you are close, do you want full custody, custodial custody? You want her off your back as soon as possible. You do not want to pay her for cheating on you for the next 10-13 years!

 
Friday, March 4, 2016 8:35 AM
Robert

My parents split up because of my father cheating on my mother.. I grew up with a stepfather.. And let me tell you it was hell on earth.. He beat my mother , my brothers , and my self and called us worthless. My father just left and started a new family didn't  try to get in touch with us till I was 30 years old.. 

If there's way to work it out Ill find it

 
Thursday, March 10, 2016 9:10 AM
Guest

my wife of 30 years cheated on me its 6 weeks now I don't know if I am going to be able to get though this no one knows till it's them I love her always have but the pain is great hope you guys make it not sure about us 

 
Saturday, April 16, 2016 12:16 PM
Guest

Same situation here to bro, my wife works in a local resturaunt for years and cheats on me for years and everyone in there knows it.

 
Wednesday, May 4, 2016 7:03 PM
Robert

I'm here to up date .. Well what I learn is don't let your wife's cheating define you as a man.. It only defines her as a woman.. That said it's an emotional roller coasterd said it's an emotional roller coaster.. I sometimes feel stupid for trying to work things out. But I know I made the best choice for my kids.. What I did it take a good close at our marriage and make changes and we both have been working on them.. Thing are getting better.. It still hurts and I have a lot of resentment but things seem to be working out.

 
Sunday, July 31, 2016 2:00 AM
Robert

heres my up date  the pain started to fade. I regret trying to working out my marriage.I let my feelings get the best of me..

I guess it was the best for the kids but my my mind wouldn't forget what she did and I don't know what's next I'm thinking about leaving. 

 
Sunday, July 31, 2016 4:23 AM
Guest

That's usual. Once the pain starts to fade your actual feelings comeback. For the longest time you've been numb. You getting your feelings back and shes not in them. You have fallen out of love with your wife. I did the EXACT same thing. When the numbness went away the love for my wife went with it. The pain goes away because you find away to forgive. The love goes away because you will never forget. If after this long your thinking about leaving then it's the best decision. The love is gone because the perception is gone. How is she acting towards you now? Has she been remorseful? Does she want to work it out and if so how much effort is she putting in?

 
Sunday, August 7, 2016 10:21 PM
Guest

Robert,

Sorry to hear what your going through.

Going through the same situation been dating this girl for 7 years and recently got married she cheated 4 months into our marriage. We have no kids or community property I'm 100% done with her. All the time, money, sacrifices, and jobs I could have taken...gone. The guy she was seeing is also recently married and was an x boyfriend. She is sad and knows she made the mistake and wants to work on things. The way I found out was honestly a message from God a Devine intervention. Someone up above telling me if I stay with this rotten person I'll be miserable my entire life. The thing is I have no trust for her anymore and when someone can't come clean doesn't know the meaning of marriage. If any of your wives cared about you they would know the meaning of marriage it's a lifelong commitment. All you guys deserve better, I deserve better there's plenty fish in the sea. Best thing to do is work on keeping busy and motivated, exercise, expand your career do whatever you can to keep your mind off it. Hopefully you all have good family and friends to support you. Good luck and God bless!

 
Monday, August 8, 2016 1:25 AM
Guest

As a father of three, I can understand your pain. Please, do understand that you worked very hard to support her and that you gave yourself completely to her, but she gave herself to another man. Should you continue to support her, you may as well be paying her to cheat on you with another man. Think about your children first. Would it be better for them to have a mother who wasn't loyal to her man? Or would you rather raise your children with faithful morals and discipline? If you keep her around any longer, she may influence your children through example. Another jote is that she betrayed your trust. Please understand that when she took another man, she essentially sees you as a mistake, someone she shouldn't have married. If she told you that she loved you, then she didn't love enough not to cheat on you. Most of the time, they just apologize just so that you wouldn't be heartbroken and angry. Think about it this way: Was she sorry when she met up with the other man? Did she truly regret meeting the other person if she kept returning to him for a year? I highly recommend, for the sake of your family, leave her. When you leave, she will truly understand and learn to appreciate how valued you were to her. If you leave her and she stops seeing other people, that means she truly is sorry. If she just gets back with the other man after you leave, that means she took advantage of you and saw you as a source of luxury and pleasure, nothing more. I pray that you make the right choice, but again it's all in your hands. Best of luck.

 

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