Then forgive her. At least she hasn't brought home a child

To:  Not-so-happy

"So you put a ring on your girlfriend's finger, this after dating for so long, then eventually, she became your wife, and then, while married, there was now some new, exciting news for both of you (a baby), the news that you guys (both),  became pregnant together.  Nice, congrats!  Okay, why would you have an affair with another woman? We're only hearing one side of this story (from you), so what did your wife do to make you stray off your marriage?  Look buddy, having an affair and not being protective (condom wise), of course, yes....  you take that chance of getting someone pregnant.  That's a no-brainer, but to me....  that's being very selfish and disrespectful to your wife.  

《 I cofessed to my wife immediately and she forgave me, even accepted my daughter into our lives.》

Really guy? Keep telling yourself that...  but in reality, really....  how can a wife forgive a husband for doing this, getting another girl pregnant?  You think they (a wife), they might forgive, but listen....  they will never forget!

《she has insecurity issues, reminds me on a weekly basis of my infidelity and basically hasn't been a happy person》

She has insecurity issues? Do you know how stupid you sound by posting this?  Really guy?  Yes.... you did put her in a hard situation, but not because of your daughter (duh)...?  because you cheated! Yes your sister becoming friends with this girl, is going to make everyone (both sides), feel awkward.   Everybody within both families, hello, are going to be upset at times (with eachother), but think about it.  You put them in this situation, and that's not your sister's or your wife's fault.  The fault is yours!  Always keep that in mind buddy!  So you visit your daughter, good for you.  That's what a dad supposed to do, even after making this mistake you caused.

《My wife asked me for a separation 6 months ago and 2 months ago asked for a divorce.》 

I could have told you that she started cheating on you, because, yes.... She was insecure about your relationship and felt bad. She also, knowing that she was cheating, eventually this (affair), this causing her so much guilt, which ended up causing her to feel bad (within her soul), feel bad about cheating on you, and thought a divorce was her only way out of her mess.  That's why she became truthful with you bro.  Maybe she was happy (felt secure), again happy with this other guy? Which is sad, to me, in my opinion... she should have gave your marriage a second chance, especially you guys being together for so long.  But like I said, we don't know the real truth here.  One Sided Story that's given by you.  Sorry but it's true, am I right?

《I found out she went out of the country to her country of origin. She goes back about every 3 months and I have no problem whatsoever, she didn't have to lie to me!》

Again, do you know how stupid it sounds and looks by you posting this remark, really?  You cheated on her bro, so she decided to do it as well.... but doesn't excuse both your actions, either way.  In reality, you both messed up.  You both need to accept that.

《And to my disgrace she's been having an affair for the last 3 yrs, mostly emotional but physical every time she went over there. She fell in love with this dude and he has left his wife. 》

Look, she had or did this (affair), that she started.  She must of had a reason for cheating (whether it was good or bad), and  I'm not saying that it's your fault or hers.  Again, this is still a one-sided Story coming from you.  So who knows why she did it.  I'm sorry that it happened to you, but doesn't excuse what you did as well.   You really need to keep that in consideration, if you want to fix your marriage.  She's been preparing herself to come clean?  Do you know why?  Maybe because she loves you still, and wants to fix, plus work on your marriage that you have together?  That's my opinion. That's good bro!  You two need to come clean with each other, and yes, maybe by starting all over, this can, or will, help your marriage in the future.  This can actually bring you guys closer together...  with eachother!  

《I'm not as upset about the cheating as I am about the fact that she has made feel like an ass the last 6yrs because I cheated on her and had a baby. 》

Now mind you...  I'm going to disregard that remark you made, about her making you feel like an ass.  How ironic, this situation has become...  because you both made each other look like asses!  Both of you grow up! Sit down and talk, work your marriage problems out together... ok!  Good luck brother... I hope everything works out good for the both of you, and the sake of the children.

Dude start getting a lawyer and explaining the while situation to him. It's very high chance you guys will not last (sorry). Try asking her again if she wants to stay with you. If she doesn't respond leave her. Try getting your son too. Good luck mate and keep updating

I think she still loves you. Im a woman and i know how it felt like being cheated on and then forgiving your husband for cheating because I been there. she loves u and even thought her ego is killing her she still forgave u because she loves u and your son.. But it doesnt end there.. Cause it hurts her seeing being reminded of your cheating whenever u visit yuor daughter ofcourse.. Its also hurts her that your sister is friend with this girl because that girl is the reason of her sufferings and unhapiness and she will always be her no 1 enemy. Trust me her cheating is part of her being whole again after all you have done to her all these years and if u forgive her like she forgave u..she always felt insecure because she doesnt really know if u love her because if u did u shouldnt have cheated. This is your turn to show her that you also loved her the way she loved u when she forgave u. I promise u things will get better after this she will never remind u about your cheating. 

I think she really loves you..

When I first met my wife I was just getting over a tough breakup , I got cheated on and it ended bad .. Now enters my wife , I met her and she was perfect , she was sweet and treated me good , she was also going trough a break up with the father of her son.. She opened up to me about lots of personal issues between her and her ex, like for example he had left her in one state with their son  and left to another to find a career (which btw still hasn't found 6 yrs later)and she cheated on him with more than one guy it was over the period of a yr then tried to go back with him but it didn't work when he found out she cheated . Well I was still infatuated with her she was beautiful and I gave our relationship a chance( normally I would have stayed away from someone who was a chronic cheater).. I still had a bad attitude about relationships at this point and the girls between my ex and her I just used to pass time.. There was this one girl I kept on the side no emotions just a physical thing, I guess this made me feel like I wasn't falling to hard for my now wife. I kept telling myself that my new gf (now wife ) was too good to be true and I guess I was preparing myself for when she left me and or cheated.. I know this was stupid and I really can't explain why I cheated over the span of two yrs it was probably 10 times , but she didn't leave and we got more serious , she was perfect or so I though , she caught me about 6 months after the cheating stopped and by this point we had a daughter and I was raising her son like my own.. After fighting and arguing and her telling me that she was gonna get revenge and sleep with a friend she had back in her hometown ( which she went back home after finding out ) I found msgs and text , pics to this guy but I expected it and I wasn't that angry because I was still in sorry mode so I forgave her and believe her to this day she says she didn't go through with sleeping with him(I contacted the guy and he also says they didn't sleep together , he admitted to trying to see her when she was in town but my wife turned him down)she also confessed without me asking that she was on Ashley Madison but again didn't do anything physical , again I believe her ..  I know I feel kinda nieive for believing but I kinda do believe her .. So i flew to get her and my kids and she came back to live with me again.. This was 3yrs ago.. I knew my wife was unhappy and thought about my cheating still.. Well last month now together 5.5 yrs , I noticed my wife doing things that were disrespectful almost seemed like doing them just to get me angry. She's a stay at hm mom and I wk all day , she would online shop and spend alot, leave house really dirty and just not seem like a happy wife .. One day I came home and I started to argue about money and looked at cpu history , well I saw that she msgd the guy she almost cheated on me with, nothing crazy just hi , how's ur life been? She said she never talked to him after I got her from her hometown until that msg.. I don't know if I believe that but he's across country so I'm not that worried , they were friend for along time before me.. Now what does concern me is without me asking she admits to getting on websites again, she said she didn't like the nastyness of Ashley Madison or adult friend finder , so she used one for actual dating . After I saw the msg to the guy across country I was pissed and threatened to leave her and the family ( now another baby involved 3 total) i told her no more lies and she told me about this new guy from the website in the town we are in. Again she said it was just on cpu and never met up but they exchanged numbers and planned on meeting . I also contacted this guys and he says same thing . She was only on site for one day I saw the receipt online but she said she admitted it To me because she thought she was actually gonna go through with it and once she saw me really about to leave for the other guy and money she didn't want to lose the family and what we have . She also admitted to me that when we first met (first month ) she slept with her ex( sons dad ) she said she knew she didn't like him or want to be with him anymore and he didn't with her but it was a one last time thing she says to prove she didn't feel for him anymore cause she knew she was liking me. I'm sorry for the long story but I was just thinking how my story sounded like this one ... We are currently still together and she Says she never actually cheated and was just doing it to get back at me , but I'm having a hard time .. Should I trust her that she didn't actually cheat or even if she did get over it because I did it first .. Has she lost all respect for me and will keep trying to get me back??? We have 2kids together and a third I'm raising as his dad is no longer in picture and I love my family and I love her , I regret what I did to her early in relationship but does this justify her trying to get even ?? She says almost losing me opened her eyes and she doesn't want to cheat  but I think if a women wants to the want to cheat doesn't go away that easy, btw we have a great sex life and she swears up and down it wasn't about wanting just sex she said she was looking for someone nice and new, the feeling from a new person . I don't know what to believe , should I believe her and give her a chance or give up !