She's opened the door for you to go do it as well. Go find a girl and I promise you she will give you a hug a lots more. Women love a man that they feel they can help like yourself. It gives them a sense of being there for someone. That's how I get it.

A spouse's infidelity has no bearing on a security clearance.  Have a sitdown with your supervisor and security manager, and fill them in on everything that has transpired.  This is to get you in the clear.  Then begin proceedings to dump your wife.  No hope of saving this one.  And, I'm sorry to say, your preparations will have to include paternity testing for the children.  15 years is a long time and you have no way of being sure they are yours.  I'm not saying abandon the kids, but you and they have the right to know the truth.

Couldn't agree more. Leave her. Any girl who shows no remorse isn't worth it at all. It's so fucking hard to deal with but you have no choice in my opinion. Be single, find your strenght and go start a new social circle from scratch. I had to do all of this after being with a cheater for 3 years. The last year we were together I knew she was cheating but I was afraid to be alone. I was being a loser. I eventually dumped the whore. I was so damn sad at first but within a couple months I had so many friends. Started dating girls all the time. Life was good again. My only regret was not leaving her sooner. I'm now with another woman (been with her 2 years now) and we're getting married in less than two months! She's a better woman in every single way. Hotter, nicer, honest as it gets, and she doesn't hide her phone from me like the last one did haha. What I'm getting at here is.. It's hard at first but you'll open the door for new opportunities. Enjoy the freedom!! All the best bud. Leave her and move on.

Good luck

It could also be *how* he found out about the affairs. IE, if he got into her company mail or something of the sort, it would be a security infringement. He'd have to let us know.

There are a lot of places you can go to talk to about it - a personal counsellor, if you're religious, someone int he religious organization, or web sites like survivinginfidelity where you can talk in privacy.

That said, it's going to take a while for it to sink in that the life you thought you had is very different than what it was. Let it sink it - it's not your fault and there's nothing you can do to 'fix' it without your wife being 100% comitted to fixing it. She broke it, so she needs to do the work. Without that, learn to accept the new lay of the land, and think about how you want to live in the future.