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My wife cheated on me

Friday, July 22, 2016 7:48 AM by John Rating: +59|-35

My wife is 51 and I am 57 and we have been married for 28 years. Two weeks ago a coworker of my wife stopped by my house to talk to me. She said she hated to be the one to bring bad news,  but she was there to tell me my wife was having an affair.  She told me it was her 24 year old son she was sleeping with, and she showed me a couple of very graphic photos and one video she had pulled of her sons phone.  The evidence was overwhelming. She told me she had asked my wife to leave her son alone, but when she wouldn't she decided to tell me. I was absolutely gut punched.  I had no idea,  or inclination that this was going on. I thanked her coworker and had her send the evidence to my phone. It was a couple of hours until my wife came home, and believe me I had so many emotions and thoughts going through my mind.  I felt betrayal, jealously, embarrassment, rage, hurt and empty. When she walked through the door I realized her coworker had already told her that she had informed me of her affair. My wife who I loved and trusted and thought was my best friend just came in the house and told me she was sorry that I found out the way I did, but she was in love with this young man and that he was waiting out in the car and she was there to pick up a few things . I followed her upstairs as she packed and tried to talk to her, but all she said was she didn't mean for it to happen, but it did, she tried to end it but she couldn't and to please try to understand. She left with him that night and came back to get the rest of her stuff while I was at work. I heard she moved into his apartment. I feel like I am living in a bad dream I can't wake from. 

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Monday, July 25, 2016 8:24 AM

Don't worry move on. She is 51 years old, she is a hag. Do you really think a 24 year old is going to take care of her plzz.... she'll come back begging and when she does refuse her. Get a divorce show the evidence act before she does. And don't worry you still time to find someone new and worthy of you.

Monday, July 25, 2016 2:52 PM

The only condolence I can offer you is that, in this moment, your wife is in deep 'fog' mode, where she's basically living a fantasy and when she got caught, is now trying to shift from her reality with you to.. the fantasy with the younger man. Once that fantasy moves to the realm of reality, things will change. It's no longer a secret, magic thing, it will become a more grounded, boring, mundane thing, and the glaring differences between them will come to light. The bubble will burst, and she will feel it.

That doesn't mean things will work between you two, but don't spend time thinking she actually found new love, or whatever. If she's cougar-ing a guy that young, part of her is likely broken and 'stuck' at a younger age too. She needs to fix herself, and rather than do that, she runs to fantasy-land. I'm sorry. But be strong - after all, you're the only thing 'real' here. Treat yourself with respect.


Monday, July 25, 2016 8:15 PM

I feel your pain dude.  Disregarded after so many years of marriage without an explaination is going to play hell with your well-being.  Your wife has checked out.  You are your highest priorithy now.  Stay focused on the positive.  Don't shut yourself away and obsess over this.  Start divorce proceedings, get yourself back into the game of life, and have some fun.  A word of warning though:  at some point young man is going to tire of your wife and dump her.  And she's going to start trying to reconnect with you.  DO NOT allow yourself to be her fallback.  She made a choice and she acted on it.  You weren't a priority to her, so don't let her tell you that you owe her anything.  28 years of love, trust, and respect are gone.  In a situation like this it's best to leave the past buried and move on.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016 4:10 PM

Get a divorce quickly before he dumps her and she comes crawling back. She is a LOSER. She is either and idiot, a fool, a pervert, has a brain tumor, or mostly a 100% selfish bitch that never really gave a fuck about you, but was more than happy to use you like a beast of burden for the past 28 years! Move on, take care of your health, get fit, hang out with decent people that you like and treat you well. When the divorce is final, cut all ties with her. Do not give her one iota of emotional support for the rest of her life. (she will try to get you to love her again one day - don't!)

Thursday, July 28, 2016 11:12 PM

Same unfortunate events happened to me man. No explanation nothing once the truth was known. That dream state of mind you described brought chills to me, I relate very much so. If I were to muster up any form of concrete advice, it would be to try your damn hardest to never even attempt to re-contact her again. To get your closure from the actions you have seen her do already now instead of trying to get more answers to your quetions and perhaps even make her want you back. It will only make you look more like a stalker and she will label you as a psycho harassing ex husband when it is in fact not the case and her actions made you want to do such things. I went to the point of trying to kill myself drunk and driving into a wall. Lost my liscence, and placed my career in jeporady for someone who didn't even care for me anymore. Who did't care for me a long time before I even knew. And the pain of knowing you were taken for such a fool for so long hurts even more. 

Try and change for the better. You will change because of this wether you like it or not. Change for the better not for the worst. 

Best of luck

Saturday, July 30, 2016 12:09 AM

You don't mention if you have any kids.  I'm curious to know what they think of the situation.

Saturday, July 30, 2016 3:16 AM

So this young guy is sporting graphic videos and nasty pics of your wife and him having raunchy sex? And she knows this? This young guy is basically using your wife sexually.  When he's done all his perverted tricks on her and had his older lady fetish fix resolved he will move on back to some younger more sexy and more fit and attractive lady (if he isn't already creeping now). When he's done using her as a cum dump, he'll move on, she'll beg him and he'll put her out, and yes...she'll come scratching at your door step.  Advice:  leave her standing at the doormat.  Don't let her back.  To do so means you approve of her behavior and she will never respect you because if the tables were turned and you were ducking down some young chick she loose her mind and make you out to be the bad guy and play victim to the hilt.  Take the house and everything.  That's how women are .... Hypocrital when it comes to cheating.  Divorce and start dating again.  You will find someone that will treat you better.  

The question I have is did you give your wife attention? Did you treat her well?  Did you do things with her and show her any interest? Did you become boring and checked out?  People cheat for many reasons.  Most women cheat when they feel they are no longer a priority or that you've lost interest in them and as being a couple doing things like early in your marriage.  Being active and DATING your wife.  If you were not doing this then that mY be the reason.  Believe me I'm not saying cheating is the answer or that it is right.  Just saying that there is a cause for every affect.  

Saturday, July 30, 2016 1:10 PM

Honestly, she's a whore and you shouldn't feel bad, he's probably only in it for the sex, he'll leave her and she'll be heart broken and crawl back to you, when she does, I suggest you slam the door in her face. Leave he to become homeless. Either that, or let her back in on the condition that you can fuck other women, I guarantee she'll cheat again, even if she promises not to.

Monday, August 1, 2016 10:28 AM

Another week has passed and I am getting past the initial hurt. I  agree with you all about divorce and she actually beat me to it. She asked me if I would do it online and offered me a very generous split on our assets. I am ready to move on, especially  after hearing more details of her infedelity. My daughter flew into town to help me deal with this situation, and she spent time with her mom. She told our daughter that she is madly in love with this young man, and that he loves her.She told her that the relationship has been going on for almost a year. That coincides with her breast augmentation surgery 14 months ago and that she is two months pregnant with his child. I've been fixed for years... and that it wasn't so much she fell out of love with me, but that she fell in love with him . It's over, the divorce is happening and as difficult as it is I'm putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward.  

Friday, August 5, 2016 8:07 PM

That's the way to do it John.  You're going to be okay.  At 51, your soon-to-be ex is going to have her hands more than full for the next 18 years.  She's going to have 2 kids to raise.  HAHAHA

Saturday, August 6, 2016 1:49 AM

Generous as it is now, doesn't mean it will be in divorce court.

Get divorced ASAP! Most states aassign the husband as the father of the kid, irrelevant if you can have kids. You do not want to be paying child support until that can be changed!!

I'd cash out your bank account and go to Vegas and "lose" it there. She has been spending your money on her bf for a year.

Saturday, August 6, 2016 11:39 AM

immediately request a divorce from court.its better for you

Sunday, August 7, 2016 3:51 PM

My wife who was 44 cheated on me with a guy in his 20s. She was fine when we got a divorce, I moved out and the guy moved in. I was 53 at the time. So I went back to the gym and lost a ton of weight and put on some muscle. Then I met a women a year older than my wife but who looked stunning because she has done sports all her life.  Now I'm remarried and the young guy left my ex who now crys and says she still loves me.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016 5:49 PM

A guy in his early 20s isn't going to love her fore no more than 1 year. Just get a divorce and start a new chapter of your life.

Saturday, September 17, 2016 9:06 PM

Damn, you actually really got fucked over. I feel for ya.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers man.

Saturday, August 17, 2019 4:20 AM

Ok dude this might be painful to bring up and I can understand, but what's happening now??


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