Me and my partner have been together a year and 6 months and I love him more than anything in the world but I'm so fed up with giving chance after chance several times now I've caught him messaging other girls inappropriate stuff and I've forgiven him and then a couple of months later when I've built my trust up with him he will do it again, he also deletes all his messages so that i can't see them all which just makes me go even crazier not knowing what has been said. 

2 weeks ago I found out he physically cheated on me in October which he said he was never planning on telling me. Since I've said we can work on our relationship, spicing up our sex life making more of an effort but it's only me that's making the effort. He isn't trying even tho he says he loves me and wants to be with me and not anyone else. Tonight he went out for a drink with his friends and I waited for 5 hours for him so he could get home to only discover he wants to stay at his friends because he hadn't finished playing a game. I'm so done with getting my my heart broken all the time and making all the effort it makes me feel like it's all my fault the problem I have is I still love him so much but I don't know if i can keep putting my self through this all the time.