Last week while cleaning, I came across a hidden stash of memory cards. Upon review, I was heartbroken to see dozens and dozens of .homemade sextapes starring my fiance and his ex/ sons mother. Even more devastating was when I realized they were all recorded throughout my entire pregnancy and a couple spaced out after. Including sleeping with her just hours after I gave birth, and was still in the hospital.  I have been suspicious of thier relationship for along time. And have begged and pleaded with him to just tell me the truth, so we can work through it. Although he did reluctantly admitt to sleeping with her once, when I first got pregnant. He swore hundreds.of times that was it. I always knew he was still lying, but never dreamed of this level of betrayl. This isn't the first time I caught him cheating, but before it was a one time thing with a girl he barely knew. This is an affair. With someone he shares a child and a history with. We had already discussed the subject to death, without getting anywhere for months. Now that I found the truth,  I decided I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I packed his stuff and set it outside with a note that said "we deserve better" I taped the memory cards and my engagement ring to the bottom, and I locked the door. He came home, and without a word, quietly loaded his things and left without hesitation. He has shown no remorse, hasn't apologized or even acknowledged any wrong doing. As he has many narcissist traits, I am going no contact a much as possible. Only discussing our daughter when we absolutely have too. It's been a.week and while I'm greatful to have him out of my life. I can't help thinking what is now, and what back then, was going through his mind? Is it possible he really feels no remorse, and doesn't care about the pain he's caused me? Or is he just hiding it. It's clear he never loved me, but What could I have done to make him hate me this much? I've never cheated, I work so he can be a stay at home dad, I gave him everything. why does he have no respect for me? No feelings? How is that possible? How would a man justify repeatedly cheating on his pregnant fiance to himself, so that he's not even sorry? Why would he.continue lying about it to keep me around? He had a way out dozens of times. Why not just leave me for her? How do men look at these situations? I'm trying to keep no contact going. So I'm asking for your opinions instead. Thank you for letting me vent.