You were married once before? I'm sorry but you should not be getting married to any man. If the married guy really wanted to be with you he would've been told his wife.  He tells you those things because he knows you're insecure and he know that you will give it up soon.  Have some dignity and be a woman for your man instead of playing the blame game. I fear for your children..

You've got two guys and you're doing the wrong thing with both of them.  Sounds like you don't have a problem finding partners, so I suggest you do the right thing with each man. Break off the engagement with your fiance - it appears he isn't a good fit for you, you say you love him, but you don't love him enough.  You've been with him for 2 years so you feel affection for him, but not real, honest-to-god-he's the man of my dreams kind of love.  He's lazy, not good with finances, he doesn't do it for you in bed, and you might continue to cheat on him, even if you get married.  So why even bother?  I don't see the point of continuing to be in a relationship with him, much less get married to him.

As for your married man partner, where to even begin? HE'S A MARRIED MAN. LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE. Just how selfish are you? He has a wife, kids maybe? You say you really love him but there's no future in it for you, and if you continue with him, you could be ruining the life of someone other than you and him - his family.  Obviously his morals are a bit skewed as well, since he's just as much to blame for having an affair with you.  And even if things miraculously worked out between you and Mr. Married Man, sounds like he wouldn't have any problems cheating on you either. 

Best case scenario here is that you suck it up and break it off with both of them, and find someone else - someone you can love and care for and can have great sex with, who is NOT MARRIED, and who won't make you feel like cheating on them. Don't be selfish, don't make this all about you, you, you, and cry about how much it's going to hurt.  You are the one to blame for the situation that you're in, now you are the only one that can get yourself out of it. Bite the bullet and move on to a healthier relationship. You'll be doing everone involved a huge favor.

Sarah, I'll be honest. If you're smart, since you've both been married before, you've got to let the married guy go. Don't tell your fiance and move on with him, otherwise you're just not a good woman kid. The only other solution is to talk with your fiance about and open relationship or marriage or a partially open one. I don't have time for it all now, but I'll come back before the weekend is over. I've known people who include others in their relationship. There's really nothing wrong with it and it can be healthy if the both of you are sensible people, and you are not quite that sensible and not even in touch with your own self properly. I just don't have the time, so make sure to come back. I love a lot of people, and especially a lot of women. I'd have an open or quasi open relationship with a woman and have and it's worked as good as a monogamus one and better and as good as no relationship sometimes does as well. You and everyone should find out as you get older in life, you want the best for each other in every way shape and form for the person you're in a relationship with. You're also going to find out you love other people, even when you're not having an affair and wish you could but don't because you have a closed relationship. I'll be back, there's so much more to say. You're NOT in the right at all for now, but YOU can take control and make things right and talk with him, but don't tell him for now what you did. If you told me, I'd probably not bother with you, because I would have told you about my feelings on an open relationshipo already. I love sharing my wife or girlfriends or the girls and women I've known with other guys as it's fun, especially when you're one of the guys or YOU keep him happy and you don't put him second. I'lll be back. Martin

Some people on here are so judgemental I think most of us have made mistakes in life.  I think you should seriously reconsider your relationship with your fiance.  You say that you love him but honestly from what you're saying it doesn't seem that he's a very good match for you.  Of the things that you say about him that you consider problems, some could be improved with communication but if he don't satisify you sexually that's not likely to change.  So unless he's willing to allow you to get the sexual satisfaction that you need outside the marriage I see you continuing to cheat or at the very least always being tempted to cheat.  One thing to consider is that you both have children that could very likely be hurt if the marriage failed.  As for the married man, I think you should stop seeing him imediately.  You deserve to be happy but you shouldn't destroy someone elses happiness for yourself.  Tell him you can no longer see him while he's married.  If he truely loves you and wants to be with you he will become single on his own.  In my opinion it's highly likely that he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear to get sex from you. You don't sound like a bad person, it sounds like you've gotten yourself into a no win situation.  I think you should cut both of them loose and go find another guy that really does it for you in bed and just see what happens!  Mike

Is there any question? You dont love your fiance, youre sleeping with a married man proves you need to break off your engagement.  trust me hunnie, if you are having problems now, it wont get any better just becuase you are married.  do all people involved a favor, break off engagement, cancel your wedding, avoid a costly divorce.

 SERENA WILLIAMS
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