My wife if 15 years  developed a relationship with her 4th cousin.   What started out as someone to exercise with turned into a full blown affair within months.  His mom died and his health wasn't the best.  In recovering he needed a person to get him motivated to work out.  My wife who loves to workout wanted to walk ,run with him from time to time.  He is a health teacher and coach so he knows what to do.  She liked that fact.  The routines were sporadic and nothing more than every other week for an hour or two.  After a few months, I thought the relationship was getting more involved than I was comfortable with.  One morning  her phone goes off and as was standard routine I looked at the text and yelled upstairs it was Dave.  Just saying good morning.   Weird.  I thought about it and a couple of weeks later, after she had returned from an early morning run with him. While   she was upstairs getting ready for work, I picked up the phone to look through the texts.  It had been bothering me.  She had told me he texted her early that morning to run.  I was not aware of any plans prior to getting up at 530.  There were no texts from him on the phone. I k ww they texted alot. Several times a day.  I asked.... she went off.  From that point on the phone was never not by her side and always password protected.  Fast forward the frequency of times together has increased to a point that I object.  She dismisses me and blows it off.  At this point, everything she talks about has something to do with him.  I try to adjust as our families are close, dinnerS, drinks, the kids go to school together, etc.  I object again a month or so later just asking to step it back a bit.  She disagreed.  Now she just doesn't tell me that she is working out with him.  I think she is by herself.  One night 900 she gets a text and goes upstairs change to running clothes and announces she is meeting Dave to work out.  Argument ensues. She goes anyway.  I know it is coming apart and ask her mom for guidance, I really respect  the lady.  She blows me off also.

Now present time, I coach both middle school basketball teams my kids play for the boys and girls.  So it is basketball alot in winter.  Dave coaches the high school team.  We had always went to some games as they are a good team.  This year she is obsessed with his team and their games.  To the point she is mad that our kids play on the same day out of town.  She attends 85 percent of our kids games and 100 percent of his teams home games and a few away.  We would ho as a family mostly after she wouldn't let up that we needed to go.  My kids lost interest  and I stopped making them attend.  I attended a couple with her with out kids.  Then I have seen enough and don't want to go either.  She is.now spending hours getting ready to go to basketball.  I question this, most husbands want their wife to look good was the answer.  She had quit her teaching job in august to much stress and looking for a new career.   This career never panned out yet.  She subs at various schools in the county.  When she subs at his school, high school, dressed to the max to the pint tat she asks me is this to much. Others were just normal clothing.  I bring this up dismissed again.  

Finally, basketball tournament  she leaves town to attend his game alone actually leaving mid day the day before to spend the night for a 9 am game. Her phone mysteriously  files two days before she leaves.  She gets a new track one on her own.  Texts me the day she leaves, this is my number, my mom has kids, I left. Comes back the next evening, goes back down for the remaining games with her mom and our son.  Of course ky wide gets her own room and grandma  and the son share  a room. His teams wins championship, when she gets home she announces that a group of people are going out for celebration and she is going.  She half heartedly  asks me to attend.  I decline. She met him and only him at a hotel a d they drove to the next city for drinks.  No one else was involved.  She leaves at 9 returns 230.  Meets him the next day for workout.  I decided to be finished with this it has to end it is to much.  Absolutely not divorce me then.  I touch base with an attorney  to look at options.  The next week I realize I can look at the phone records.  Amazement  and bewildered from March 1 to 15 when her phone failed they exchanged 5393 texts and spoke 58 tims for 3 hours.  I have no dovetails on the text messages other than time stamps.  Which work out to be 24/7 and up to 677 texts a day. 

Having had enough I print this and go to his house to confront him.  His wife answers door, I hand her the bill and tell her to please hand over to Dave with my request he stay away from me, my kids and my house. I was running an errand for my daughter and left.  The wife went to my house to confront my wife, they have a very heated exchange. My wife was unaware I had looked up the records  I later find out this is not the first time they have spoken about this matter.  Angie  the wife was dismissed just as I was.  Angie calls me to meet and discuss  I do and we agree to meet as all four of us.   She also informs me that she saw a sexual text and confronted  them about it.  This was dismissed as playing.  My wiferefuses to go.  I go over there and he apologizes to me comes clean that they were the only ones who went that night.  No sex. They are friends. My wife busts in and again the two women go at it.   It gets heated and stef walks out.  Angie is in tears and david keeps apologizing.  I go home and she jumps me about bringing this to their attention.  Next day, I am kids school for function in morning.   Angie and david call, he has confessed  she make him repeait to me.  I get a hold of my wife and say he just told us times dates and that exercise was a lie to meet and have sex. .  Do you want to come clean.  

I ask her repeatedly  nope.  The weekend comes and goes, I ask her for her new phone. I want to download the deleted texts see for myself and decide what to do.  Refuses.  I have asked the phone company for records and they are on the way. She is not sure she wants to work it out.  Not sure I can change for her. He has cut off all contact and begging  the wife to let him back in.  

I don't know if I can move on.  But I know that I cannot of she won'answer questions, show remorse.  Why would he lie about that?  My wife just keeps denying it. At this is point I have over 5000 texts In  2 weeks  and 58 phone calls, secret meetings at all hours, deceit  and a consult with a lawyer.  Do I go after text details,  ask him to explain to me. I'm lost I love her.