My wife of nine years first cheated on me over Labor Day weekend back in 2011, the year we split up. I had been faithful despite NUMEROUS oportunities to cheat, as I work in talent acquisition in the television industry - I turn down more pussy in a day than most guys see in a year. So, labor day weekend, on Sunday, she says she's off to Napa with Sherrie to visit a winery - I say okay - I know Sherrie and she's a great broad, so, no worries.  Later, I got a bullshit phonecall at 2am that she "was too drunk to drive home" from a different girlfriend of hers who also said "uh...she's too drunk to talk on the phone right now" when I asked to speak with her. She came home at Noon the next day and went straight to the shower after a perfunctory "Hello". 

I started to notice that she was on her cell phone a lot. A couple of days later, she asks me "Why do I need YOUR permission to put a screenlock on my phone?" I tell her "It's because I'm th lead account holder. Gimme it, honey, I'll put whatever you want on it." - only she won't hand me the phone! Also very suspicious, and a big mistake, as I was the account holder for our family plan, so later that evening, I was able to look at all the activity on the account - and by October, she and lover boy were exchanging 11,000 text messages a day. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I found out she had also been exchanging lewd photos and videos with this moron. I backed up everything so I had evidence, and confronted her the next day. Of course she denied it at first, and then I showed her a video of one of her performances, after which she couldn't deny the truth. I told her "If you stop what you're doing, and we get some counseling to help us through this, perhaps we can fix what is broken."

Her reply?  "I'm not stopping."

MY reply to that? "Well, then you'd better find someplace else to live, because I am not sharing a house and a bed with a cheating slut."

She packed and left, and SHE filed for divorce against ME, despite our mutual agreement that we would file together using one lawyer.She never mentioned her adultery or her suicide attempt the previous year to her attorney. I was honest and told my lawyer EVERYTHING that could be construed as a negative. When we sent her counse our interrogatories, her case fell apart like it was made of crumbly cheese.

She lost everything - custody, the paid-for house, the works - our conservative county takes a very dim view of adultery, and the jury did not like her antics one bit. Five years later, she has never paid one dime of her court ordered support, or our child's medical bills - and that meter runs until he turns eighteen, so she's going to have to pay me eventually.

Thinking about cheating? Do yourself a favor and get divorced FIRST! Or you could end up like my ex. Oh, by the way, Mister Wonderful dropped her like a used rubber as soon as she was single again. She went through a series of jobs, cars, and relationships, none of which worked out. Last we heard, she was sharing an apartment with three other women and unable to find a job. Through all of this, even though she has treated me like I was the villain, I never did one thing designed to cause her harm, and when her chips were down, I helped her just as I would any family member -as an example to our child. And still, she vilifies me - because I caught her cheating, because I exposed her dishonesty to our mutual friends, and because I defeated her so soundly in court. Until she learns to accept responsibility for her own choices, she will never succeed at anything she attempts. Know what Ive been doing these past five years? Raising our child largely alone, and working on myself to fgure out why two marriages didn't work out. Clearly I am half-culpable, at a minimum,and if I should be lucky enough to find true love again - not likely, I know, but stranger things can happen - I don't want to be the same guy who failed in two marriages.

The lesson here - If you catch your partner cheating, and you think it's fixable, make the offer. But if they turn you down, their mind is made up, so get the best damn lawyer you can afford, and get out of that bad marriage to that cheating whore as quickly and as cleanly as possible.