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he discovered but till now he said nothing

I cheated on my husband

Friday, August 19, 2016 11:12 PM by Guest Rating: +38|-28

so the very moment he discovered the chat history that I couldnt just delete yesterday night ...  he woke up at night and probably have read it but  said nothing till this moment.

I dont know what to expect. I messed it up because I am a selfish and careless women.  I feel horible and really think of death once he confronts me.

anyone went through this?

Thank you for voting.


Saturday, August 20, 2016 11:49 AM

We need more details in order to help

Saturday, August 20, 2016 12:01 PM

 No I have never been through this but I have thought of cheating on my husband and did not do because it just wasn' t worth hurting him. I decided to talk with my husband and he has listened so far but I am still coaching him on what I want from him, lol. You should have communicated what you needed from him instead of cheating. What drove you to cheat? Plus, death is not the answer because you made to decision to cheat. When and if your husband confronts you just be honest with him and tell him what drove you to cheating. If you and your husband are willing to make things work, never cheat again. Let your husband understand what you need from him so you will not go looking for another man's passion or attention. Whether he listens or not is up to him, so if he loves you he will do what it takes to make it work and if he doesn't then try counseling. I hope this helps! Good luck.

Saturday, August 20, 2016 3:56 PM

I'm not normally an advocate of confessing, but I'm going to make an exception here. You Should talk with him and tell him what you've done. A lot of times a spouse will be able to handle it better if the other person confesses instead of the spouse having to confront you. 

Whenever you talk with your husband , don't blame him for what you did. It was your decision, you should own it. It's ok to talk about your needs not being met, and what you need from him, but don't blame him for your actions. 

Sunday, August 21, 2016 3:42 AM

Why pretend you care? You cheated on your husband, you had a chance to prove you loved him and not cheat, but you cheated. You don't love him. There may be other reasons that you are upset now such as your sense of self righteousness. You can't play the decent, good wife ever again, you will now always be the cheating slut. If you stay with him, you will have to see that everyday in his eyes. If you divorce him, you will have to live with the secret, you will not be able to tell the next man because unless he is a fool or a pig - he will run from you. You threw your honor away and you can't get it back. There is nothing that can make cheating go away, and nobody wants to stay with a cheater. If your husband stays your cheating will eat him alive over time. You are a beast. 

Sunday, August 21, 2016 8:28 AM

I confessed to my girl I was having urges to cheat because of my high sex drive and need for variety and alleviate my boredom after being together for 6 years. She is a particularly understanding woman. She thanked me for telling her. We've split since because of this but are still great friends. A former relationship where i did cheat and she found out broke her heart, hurt me too as I loved her, and effectively ruined a friendship. Learning from this I found the courage and decency to speak openly to this recent ex and that has preseved our friendship and avoided me hurting her and causing bad times. Back in Uni I slept with hundreds of girls and i think I'm wired to continually sleep with different women. I accept this is my nature and work with it instead of trying to be sommething I'm not. Thee honest approach is worth finding the courage for. It will set you free I promise. If a woman wants other guys it seems you may not be with the right guy. If you were I'm doubtful you'd want to bbe with other men in my experience. My current girl and i are in a kind of open relationship. While it sparks some jealousy in me it tests the relaationship and brings up my pain of being cheated on in the past which i like for my own self growth. It kind of turns me on too in a strange way. Shes absolutely beaautiful inside and out and pretty much every man that sees her hits on her, it's crazy, but I'm really happy in this non traditional interesting relationship. When we have kids I hope by then its all out of our system so a stable and more conservate relationship can arise. We're only here for a short while so we must live a path of discovery on the journey and allow ourselves and others to be happy and also free. 

Monday, August 22, 2016 3:08 AM

Update girl update.

Monday, September 5, 2016 7:03 AM

Maybe he likes to be cheated. I am a husband who discovered, and after I accepted it. One thing is sex, another is life. Try to ask "are you horny after you know that another man had sex with me?" and look his pants...


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