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Huge mistake

I cheated on my boyfriend

Friday, November 6, 2015 7:25 AM by Guest Rating: +62|-35

I have been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and I know he is the one.  We have lived together for about 6 months and although I am ready for marriage and children (I am in my 30's) he is unsure. While out of town for work I got ridiculously drunk with coworkers and cheated on him. I have no idea why, I am not unhappy and I have never cheated on him before or even thought about it. All I can say is that the alcohol must have influenced my decision and as soon as I realized what was happening I left but the damage had already been done. I will never do it again but I feel disgusting and horrible. My boyfriend deserves better. I feel like he should know but I am absolutely positive that he will leave me and I can't lose him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I am being selfish but we are so happy together I don't know what to do. 

Tags: Alcohol; Coworker Affair;

Thank you for voting.


Friday, November 6, 2015 8:44 AM

Best thing to do is tell him. It's not fair for you or him to continue on your relationship unless he knows what you did. Don't blame it on the alcohol and something tells me that your missing something in your relationship for this to happen. Be an honest person and not a slut. If he finds out he will hate you so get it over with now.

Friday, November 6, 2015 8:45 AM

Taking you at your word, it sounds like an honest mistake so my advice is don't tell him - he'll never get the images out of his mind.

Get tested for STDs. If you did catch something, you'll need to tell him.

Of course, don't do it again!

Friday, November 6, 2015 5:01 PM

If you were really happy together, you wouldn't have cheated. Tell him. For his sake. What little respect you have for him, you should tell him.

Friday, November 6, 2015 8:06 PM

After 5 years of marriage my first wife confessed she had sex with another man, just the once. She really felt guilty about it.  I asked her all the details and she told me he went down on her and she had an orgasm.  She told me they used a condom.  I was devastated and I did not think I would ever get over it.  I did learn to enentually cope with it and in the end I used to think about her having sex with this other man when I was having sex with her.  In the end it started to turn me on.  I believe she thought it was a mistake and that is why she confessed, she did not have to tell me, I would never have known.  Although I did not like my wifes confession I was glad she told me.  I think you should tell your boyfriend or it will haunt you for years.  After all, you are only human and just made one mistake.  All the best.

Saturday, November 7, 2015 12:03 AM

You have two choices: tell him and do what is best for him or be selfish and keep it to you.

Saturday, November 7, 2015 10:07 AM
Ur boyfriend

 That secret will haunt you for the rest of your time together. Your guilty conscience will eat away at you everyday. If you can get that drunk and spread your legs for some fucken random dude to blow his load in you then I would bet that you will do it again everytime you get drunk. Hopefully you get checked for Herps, syphlis, gonareah, warts, aids. Hep a,b,c. Seriously think about it your in denial and that's why your posting asking people if you've fucked up, Yes you have and the only way to clear your guilty conscience is to be true to yourself and your sorry ass boyfriend that is going to be devastated when you tell him that your a fucken pig that you cant be trusted when you drink. Tell him you SELFISH slut and see if you two love birds are so happy together.

Sunday, November 8, 2015 3:01 AM

Telling him is being selfish.  You are telling him to clear YOUR conscience.....suck it up, shut up, and treat your boyfriend well.  

Sounds like you already learned your lesson, why make him hurt now too?

Sunday, November 8, 2015 12:27 PM

Dont tell him just leave him. You dont deserve him. Go somewhere far away. Do whatever you want just dont bother him anymore. He'll be better off with you not telling him about it i can tell you that

Thursday, November 12, 2015 1:24 AM

Why are all of you bashing her and saying she's a slut? She was intoxictaed okay? She could have done so much worse, like murder someone while she was drunk. I wouldn't tell him because it would be a waste of time and tears, as long as it doesn't happen ever again then you should be good. Some of you need to get off of your high horse. We are human, and humans make mistakes, this person was obviously looking for advice/ guidance and all you can do is bash her? You're no better. 

Thursday, November 12, 2015 6:08 AM

Human sluts

Monday, November 23, 2015 12:51 PM

Tell him a truth you fucking slut, and stay single for ever, PLEASE.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015 7:03 PM

You have these outcomes... 1) You can tell him now, and he will probably leave you. If he doesn't, the relationship will die a slow death from trust issues, and the pair of you will break up anyway. 2) You do not tell him now, but as your conscience is bothering you, you will probably and eventually tell him later. So 1) happens later than sooner. 3) You do not tell him, and someone else who knows leaks ot to him, and 1) happens later than sooner. 4) You do not tell him, and somehow, he never finds out. Then a) you can live with your guilty conscience forever, or b) given the greater probilities of 1, 2, or 3, you leave him now or eventually because the probability of your relationship would not work out. Hence, your possibility of having a successful relationship is small. By estimation, a long term loss is best terminated immediately. The probability of success here is so small, it is optimal to break up with him as soon as possible giving him some other reason than what you have done. Some may say that the truth will set you free, and your conscience will be less burdened. However, your less burdened conscience is at the expense of torturing this innocent man who loves you. It would be advised that if you love him, do not torture him, and be merciful. Scuttle the relationship by some other method in the least painful way for him. 

Tuesday, November 24, 2015 7:22 PM

In addition to what I have written above, another way to look at is Selfishly. This is a simpler method by asking the question, "Given my infidelity, what will make me happy". 1) You tell him and the relationship will die a slow death from trust issues, and the pair of you will break up anyway. This method will not make you happy. 2) You do not tell him, hoping he will never notice a difference in you as you bear the guilt forever. Hence, living with the burden of guilt knowing if he knew, he would be horribly damaged and would leave you, will not make you happy. 3) If you scuttle the relationship somehow for other reasons, that will not make you happy. Therefore, there is nothing you can do now that will make you happy anytime soon. Actually, in the long run, no matter what you do, you will never be happy in remembering any of this. However, option 3) does offer the long term solution of you finding someone else to be happy with, and the same for him. Therefore, if you want to be happy again at some point in your life, the best thing you can do now is leave him. If you love him, minimize the damage to him and leave in the most painless manner.

Saturday, November 28, 2015 8:18 AM

Well a slut is always a slut, you can't change that. Unfortunately you will always be a whore and there is nothing you can do about it. One a lady cheats on her husband or boyfriend there is no going back. You need to tell him what kind of trash you really are and if he haves half a brain he'll throw your shit out the window along with all the other trash. The best advice I can give you is you should probably go kill yourself. Do it now before you drag innocent children into the mix. It's a shame that men get this bad wrap about being cheaters when whores like you are always looking for the next big dick to come along. Goodbye slut! 

Saturday, November 28, 2015 3:50 PM

How on earth can you come here and try to get us to say park it forget it and get on with life like it never happened. What are you for pities sake - you go out with co workers and while you are with them you thought nothing of your loyal partner who trusted you. You made the choice to get drunk but even then you want us to believe the drink made you kiss this other guy- made you touch the other guy- allowed him to touch you intimately - the drink made you remove your clothing, made you open your legs, made you enjoy the feeling of a strange cock penetrating your vagina oh yes you knew what you were doing your choice you loved it when it was happening - was the other guy also cheating. And you think he kept that to himself lots of others now know that when you drink you will drop them for a bit of pleasure - if you have any true remorse you will show your partner some respect by telling him everything, let him get a health check (hopefully you did not go home for more sex from your true boyfriend) then make the only decision you can make leave him and let him find another more trust worthy girlfriend because if you stay he will rightfully question you forever and believe me that is not a relationship for either side I know to my cost :

Tuesday, December 1, 2015 4:35 PM

I moved cities to go to college. My boyfriend stayed home and we stayed together. We're in love and want to get married and have kids. He talks to me constantly, but I miss him every second. Missing him makes me feel sad deep down. My first couple of weeks were really rough. I had no friends, I was really lonely, I felt like I had no purpose, like I was just taking up space and I was really lost and confused. I saw my favorite dj was coming to town and wanted soooo badly to go out and have a good time. My soul needed to feel itself again. The only person I knew that was going was a guy from my past (before my boyfriend). I figured "I can go, have a good time, and come home after". Well, he gave me alcohol before the concert and I don't really drink. We got there and I danced with him the whole time...then when we left I kept repeating myself that I wanted to go home and that I was tired. He said "no you have to come back to my place because you left your purse there." This was true. Then I knew, shit this is a sticky situation. When we ended up there be kept pressuring me and pressuring me to just TRY cheating and that he would never have to find out, etc. I was really confused because I had a huge crush on this guy in the past and never got closure. I kept saying no. But it's almost like I got annoyed and just wanted him to stop pressuring me. So I sat on his bed where he was. He started to kiss me. We kissed for a few seconds and I immediately said "I feel guilty already!" And I ran home. Nothing else happened. But now I feel like I've cheated on the best person I've ever known. Not a soul knows besides the guy and myself. I can't lose the love of my life because of one douche bag and a stupid mistake! But the guilt kills me. I can only hope in time I will forget and nothing will ever come of it. 

Friday, December 4, 2015 5:36 PM

Previous comment,


Good, girl you did not cheat on him, you left right after he started kissing you



And for the original poster, I say tell him the truth and let him decide. Let him know you are sorry though.

Thursday, March 31, 2016 5:29 AM

Your'e not a victim here girlfriend. Don't paint yoursef as one. You dlinerately chose to drink, you consciously chose to have sex with this other man. If you had any respect at all for your BF you would have told him. This poor man has a GF that may fuck some guy when ever you drink too much. He doesn't deserve you at all.

Thursday, May 12, 2016 2:32 AM

so you meet a guy, have a few drinks and end up in bed. You are in a relationship.  You are not worthy of the man of your dreams. You will do it again and hurt him. Probably after he asks you to be his wife, probably after you have kids and you will ruin more than his life. Tell him, let him decide his fate. You are a slut. Period.  

Monday, September 12, 2016 10:48 AM

I know this is an old post. If you can stop drinking forever, then do so and don't tell your boyfriend. If you can't stop drinking forever the tell your boyfriend about the other guy.

If you were really so drunk that you couldn't stop yourself from fucking another guy, then you were so drunk that you would have driven drunk, and possibly killed someone, or you were so drunk that you might have walked into traffic and been killed. If you weren't the so drunk that you wouldn't done the other things then you weren't so drunk is that you couldn't stop yourself from fucking the other guy then You're just using the alcohol as an excuse.

Giving you the benefit of the doubt, and assuming that you were really that drunk, then you need to stop drinking and you need counseling.  Fix that, and there is no need to tell your BF. 


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