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I am a cheater abd always will be

I cheated on my boyfriend

Sunday, May 29, 2016 3:10 AM by Guest Rating: +11|-2

Hi..well I am 19. I have been in a relationship for a year now and I have cheated on him every step of the way. I was on here looking for someone of my situation but no one has done what I have done I guess. 

From the ages 14-18 I was in an online relationship. I know people tell about love but this one something stronger than that. I loved this person so much my heart literally beat for them. I loved this person so much that I put them before God. 

In the beginning of that relationship I cheated. I was 16 and I don't know, I didn't take the relationship seriously. After I fell completely in love with that person the guilt was eating at me. Every single day. Day and night. I am a Christian and we believe the truth is the only way to go(no longer believe that) but I told them the truth after a year. After I told the truth that person began to verbally abuse me. Call me names. Tell me I was a who're and I let them. I took every single punch that was thrown my way because I deserved it. I kept thinking if I just allow them to hurt me then they will love me like they used to. Every day that person called me a cheater. Told me that I was unclean and just a horrible human being. I took that abuse for a year before that person left me. 

I believed everything that they called me. 

I got into another relationship a couple months after and I know it was too soon but something sparked between that me and him. The day that we started dating I has phone sex with the ex. And so on. 

I have cheated on my boyfriend so many times. Some I have kissed and some I have had sex with. Bottom line is I became the person my ex said I was. He told me "Once a cheated, always a cheater. You will ALWAYS be a cheater." And I believe it. It's to the point I don't even know what it is. 

I love my boyfriend. I love him so much. I am home from college right now and I look into his eyes and all I see is beauty. All I see is good. I will never tell him what I have done. I will never do that to myself and if that makes me a selfish whore then I guess. The guilt isn't as strong because I know I am not in love with my man but I wanna marry him and have his babies. The reason why I won't break up with him is because I wanna be with him. I don't want to hurt him because I know I am all he has. 

I don't even know why I am wrting all this. I will mostly get hate and have people who just won't understand. I know I am going to hell. I know I am a worthless human being. I know that he will leave me one day. I don't know who I am. I don't know if it's lust or self esteem. I don't know. 

I guess I am just venting. I am the person my ex said I would be. I don't blame him because he was right. He was right all a long and I don't really know what to do about it besides just accept it I guess. 

Tags: Abuse; Dating;

Thank you for voting.


Sunday, May 29, 2016 4:35 AM

Lol your 19 what's your point. Most 19 year old girls don't know what they want until it's in front of them. Your still searching for yourself and that's fine. The only thing I would say is bad about you is that your wasting other people's time. Don't waste his time. As of right now you probably need to have an open relationship until you know. Have fun but nothing to serious 

Sunday, May 29, 2016 9:39 AM

  Read what you wrote until you clearly  understand  what you wrote and why. Don't blame  your ex for you cheating on your boyfriend  because you cheated on you ex before being verbally  abused. Your ex vebally abused you  because you hurt him dearly and he loved you. He never forgave you. Now here is another guy your doing the same. You have no heart so don't say you love anyone. You are selfish  and you know it. NOW I WONT CALLED YOU WORTHLESS. You was raised  christian am I right? WELL UNDERSTAND that by calling yourself worthless is taking everything  jesus did on the cross for you. Don't think your sins will be paid in hell. You will pay for them as life goes on. If you don't stop you will regret so much of it. You will loose out on what could have been. Sad that you will never experience a man who will truly  love you because  you can't  love.   Don't have babies  until you learn to love yourself. You won't know how to love them and/or  be faithful  to your own kids.  You need help but you won't get it because you like being deceitful.  Change now.

Sunday, May 29, 2016 10:10 AM

One. I will find a man who loves me. And I do love that man and I am not a heartless person so fuck you. 

Sunday, May 29, 2016 11:03 AM

You are a heat less women. If you had a heart then WHY are you always going to be a cheater. I don't think you love him you lave that he is around. And understand people will bash you on here. What do you expect. What are you going to do when the man who loves you cheats on you. Are you going to allow him to do it. I think you need to learn to treat yourself with more respect. Your young and you have a LOT to learn about relationships, loyalty, honesty.  Someone you love your faithful to. Your honest with. Your loyal towards and that not you. And you won't fund a man that loves you. He will just be loving a lie cuz that's what you are. A huge lie. You are fake from the very beginning of the relationship. If you love him then prove it. Tell him the truth. And then update is when you do. If you don't then your full of it

Sunday, May 29, 2016 11:50 AM

That fuck you says everything about your character. Julius told the truth. Your a liar and a cheat. You cheated on him the day yall started dating. Who does that. Oh yea a heartless woman. Don't be a bitch and then get mad when people call you out on it. Your a future slut so face it. You will always be a cheater because you want to be. You will never find a man that loves you. Cuz you suck

Sunday, May 29, 2016 12:42 PM

No matter what any of you say I will find redemtion. I have been crying over these comments but no more. God made me for a reason. I know he wouldn't have me never find love. I will find love. I will get married. I will have kids. I will be loyal. All this did was made see how no one understands. It might take some time but I am 19 I have a whole life a head of me. So once again FUCK YOU. 

Sunday, May 29, 2016 1:14 PM

I think you forget that the devil has his army too. God didn't make ALL of us. The devil has his children here on earth too. And this story is the devil. The title is the devil. Your fuck you responses are the devil. Stop crying the majority rules. Your young don't know what you want and until you figure it out you will continue to lie cheat steal and kill. Your lying to your boyfriend. You cheated on all your boyfriends. You've stolen their time and trust, and your killing me with your god made me for a reason bullshit cuz it's bullshit. Stop saying god and Christian when you continue to follow and obey the devil. You want redemption go to church and start confessing to the people that know you. Your mom, dad, grandparents, pastor. All those people will help you to discover who and why your this way. Good luck and I pray I truly pray this works out for you in the end. But you do the devils work and you end up in the Devils playground.

Sunday, May 29, 2016 3:09 PM

Don't try and use religion to justify your actions. Your not a Christian you just say you are but you certainly are not following it. You said truth is the only way to go but you no longer believe that. So how can you call yourself a Christian when you don't believe in honesty and telling the truth. Bottom line I will tell YOU the truth and that's your lying to yourself. You need to further your education and focus and school and gain some more life experience. You don't deserve a man. A real woman is honest with her man. She has nothing to hide. But you have a very dirty closet down there between your legs. And it smells rotten

Sunday, May 29, 2016 8:27 PM

     Don't  cry for the comments  we make, cry for the ones you hurt.  Don't  worry about me or any other person  in here  making comments. We can't judge you only God can. Only God will judge but what we can comment on is your lack of morality. If only you put the same effort in telling us to go fuck ourselves  as you would your relationship  you probably  be better at it. You take what we say as a put down but what you don't  realize  is the people are calling it as they see it. REDEMPTION  IS FOUND IN A HEART FULL OF REPENTANCE. Sorry but your words lack repentance. Your own words clearly  say  I no longer believe in truth.<----- your so lost. You put people before God <----- they became your god.You said you can  take all the punishment  but you clearly  can't. Love does not do what you do. Real love confesses and real love forgives. But it must be love. Confess or it will keep eating  at you  untill you feel no more and then cheating will be something  as natural  as breathing. You hurt now but what happens  when you feel no remorse  on what you did? Then God will be the one you answer to. 🙏

Monday, May 30, 2016 12:49 AM

 i know what your going through. but my situation is different because I'm a female that met a female on line and completely fell in love with her. although at the time I was only bicurious i never knew love could be so strong. well after some time she admitted cheating on me and i couldn't take it. i called her a bitch in heat, a whore, nasty hoe y mas puta que la chingada. after all that hate and word abuse i realized i couldn't blame her since we lived in different states. i loved her so much i accepted what she done. after a year went by I ended up cheating on a drunk nite with a guy and a female 3sum. i hated myself the next day and i told her. she cried and begged me to tell her it was a lie. i couldn't lie to her so she left me. till this day i still love her and would do anything to get her back even if it's just friendship but she won't. 

so my point is love is something you shouldn't play with once you have it. love is a precious gift we should never take for granted. 

Tuesday, May 31, 2016 6:51 AM
Your future lover

why the fuck would I marry I whore. I've been around hoes that smoke and cut themselves over nothing but you've taken it to a whole mother level. What a dumvass are you blonde man??? You think with your clit and not your head. Might as well have a 3sum or in fact maybe just a polygonsum since you'll end up with even more men. Your un loyal ness makes Bruce Jenner seem like a pretty nice bitch. Before you put a dick in your mouth tonight with the janitor think about this comment.

Friday, July 15, 2016 8:01 PM

You are very young. Its just a learning experince. Once you find true love thats when you will stop cheating. You are just being human so dont overthink the situation. Dont have kids you still to young.

Monday, July 18, 2016 9:07 PM

you're a bitch, a fucking bitch! go die, bitch

Wednesday, August 3, 2016 11:26 AM

It's not love if you promise your heart and soul to one person while spreading your legs for everyone else. Just turn into a girl who only looks to hookup with guys for one night stands or a couple days of sex. Your obviously incapable of one on one love.




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