my wife and I have been together for 9 years married for 5 and a half like any couple we have had ups and downs. When we first met she was married and we had an affair on her husband then and subsequently became a couple. My wife was in a strange place and wanted to go out and party and get chatted up and ended up starting a relationship with someone else behind my back we split you but carried on seeing each other whilst she was seeing this other guy (I didn't know she was seeing someone else) then we got back together for a couple of weeks and then we split up and she moved this other guy into her house which lasted 6-7 weeks then she contacted me and we ended up getting back together! I was left feeling quite insecure from this but I wanted to be with her and at that point nothing else mattered I loved her we got pregnant then engaged then married our first son was born before we got married. After the wedding things on my head started playing out and I lost my confidence I started to treat my wife badly blaming her for my insecurities and would be thinking all the time that she would cheat again then a couple of years after our marriage I was going crazy in my own head and had the opportunity to cheat which unfortunately I did and that lasted for 7-8 months until it all came to a head. This just exasperated by insecurities and I would portray my guilt onto my wife accusing her of having affairs all the time etc! The affair stopped for over a year but I moved jobs and got in contact with the person I was having an affair Hahaha!!! I want to be completely in the zone for this!!! Tomorrow 8 it's a date! Bring your tiewith and we struck up a dirty txting affair. This wasn't constant txting it was on and off over the next 9-10 months. My wife found out and yes I tried to hide the extent of my affair but she ended up finding everything out by one means or another! My wife and I are spe rated now been 6 weeks and I very much doubt there is any chance for reconciliation over the years I have put my guilt on her I haven't communicated my feelings and haven't been honest with her disrespected and devalued her in all this. I love her mire than anything and want nothing more than to be with her but I accept I've done far to much for her to trust me or let me back into her life again. I have learnt some valuable lessons about communication honesty and openness if I had of spoke about my feelings all those years ago we would still be together living a full and happy life! My mistakes have led to total and complete destruction and my advice for anyone even contemplating having an affair is to look at the reasons why you think your going to have one and then be honest and communicate with your partner deal with it before you loose everything the truth will always come out one way or another so be honest ands ive your partner the respect they deserve