I am a sophomore in college and I have been dating my boyfriend for a year. Everyone thinks our relationship is perfect; and for the most part it is, he is my first my love and I want to marry him one day. But those little things are so hard to forget, and I find myself focusing on them. This, paired with my flirty personality, have put me in very complicated situations. I met a guy who I've never had a more instant connection with, both mentall and physically. We sexted, he touched me, but that was it. I am still emotionally cheating on my boyfriend with this man, though, because we both suffer from depression and an anxiety disorder; something my boyfriend does not understand, and this man and I lean on each other for support. I have a deep connection with him. One of my boyfriend's roomate, I became very close with because I am over their all of the time. I've come to develop strong feelings for him, and one drunken night, we had sex. I found out not only were my physical feelings mutual, so were the emotional. He loves me, and I love him. I love the other man too. And I love my boyfriend, with all of my heart. Humans have such a capacity for love, I mean that's what makes us human, but its damaging to have feelings in a monogomous type society we live in. Why can't a person love more than one person at the same time? I am very confused, and I feel awfully. I hate that I did this to all of them, and I will never forgive myself. Do I deserve any of them? Am i so selifsh by wanting all of them... and staying with my boyfriend? I am so scared of being alone, yet I find myself alienating myself from those who love me, and that is entirely my fault. I do not know what to do next. Karma is a bitch, and I am sure it's going to bite me in the ass sooner or later...