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Is this cheating?

I cheated on my wife

Saturday, September 3, 2016 6:09 PM by Guest Rating: +24|-28

Since high school I hve known that I am diff. In our 30's I have met my wife and we got married.  The first few years were fatastic and I thought that the other side of me suppressed.  As soon as we had kids and they consumed my wifes time, I started to explore the other side and watched gay porn.  When my wife found out and confronted me - I explained that it was only a fantasy I had.  This triggerd something in her and then she started to check my phone and computer.  She found that I contacted a man and confronted  me.  I told her that I am bi and knew it before our marriage but that I love her and will not leave her.  I kept on whatching gay pron and obviously she were not OK with that.  She stopped having sex with me and said that our marriage is over but will stay together for our kids sake.  Over the next few years I watched more and more porn and eventually contacted several men and started having sex (bj, top, bottom, orgies, etc) with them in public places, hotel rooms, swimming pools, etc.  This was the other side of me being satisfied. After a few years of this double life my wife found out about this and was devestated.  I don't think that I have cheated on her as she told me that our marriage is over.  Now I don't want a divorce and want to try to mend our marriage.

Tags: Divorce; Gay; Hotel; Kids;

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Sunday, September 4, 2016 5:07 AM

I think your wife probably wanted you to fight to save your marriage. Even though she said that you two are staying together for the sake of the kids, she hoped that you would grow out of the "phase", the problem being that being gay isn't a phase. It's too bad that even at this point, you can't be honest with her or yourself. 

Monday, September 5, 2016 7:22 PM

Are you in Hammond LA

Saturday, September 17, 2016 3:55 AM

I am not gay because I don't want a full time relationship with a man but I must admit that I prefer men.  Only men really understand another mans sexual needs - a quicky, bj, top and bottom. Anal sex is the best thing that ever happend to me.  I wish I have experienced this much earlier.  I don't want to get divorced and will try to get our marriage back on track.  It is now more than a month since I had sex with a man.  I just wish my wife will get over this (stop playing the victim) so that we can carry on with our lives.  

Sunday, January 8, 2017 11:31 AM


First rant: ARE YOU STUPID OR JUST IGNORANT?  Being gay doesn't only mean you want to have a full time relationship with a man.  Being gay means that you PREFER men, for ANY reason, and that you are not under any circumstances attracted to women.  If you can have sex with, love, or be in a relationship with EITHER men or women, then you're BISEXUAL.

Second rant: You wish that your wife would get over it and stop playing the victim so that you can carry on with your lives?  YOU ARE A SELFISH PRICK.  She IS a victim.  A victim of your cheating and your lying, and there is NO WAY, that anyone, man or woman, husband or wife, could just "get over" being cheated on by the person who was supposed to love and honor them, and be faithful to them. You said she was DEVASTATED, yet you want her to get over it. I'm flabbergasted. You didn't just cheat once, you went on a fucking rampage for a few years, just so that you could satisfy "your other side." And you think mending your marriage is as easy as her moving past your selfishness?  Too late.

Third rant: If anal sex is the best thing that ever happened to you (should have been the person you married, btw), then you will never be satisfied only being with your wife. You now have an itch that needs to be scratched, and your wife does not have the dick to scratch it with.  Unless she's a hermaphrodite (having both male and female sex organs), which she is obviously is not.  Too bad for you.

You're lying to yourself if you think you love your wife and want to remain married to her.  It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bi - when you really, truly love someone, you just can't bring yourself to betray them. 

It's time for you to face reality.  If your wife wants it, grant her a divorce.  Man up and pay the child support and take care of her and your kids, you owe them that, after all, it was YOUR indecision, indiscretion, and selfishness that brought you to this point. IF she wants to stay together just for the sake of your kids, then the two of you MIGHT be able to come to an agreement, an open marriage life style where you both are allowed to pursue your sexual need in wherever and in whatever way you want.  She needs to undersand that a marriage without sex, for the sake of staying together for the children, isn't a possibility. You need to understand that she can't just get over it and that you have BETRAYED and DEVASTATED your wife and that she may never want to have sex with you again because she is too emotionally damaged.  If neither of you can come to an agreeement, then divorce is the only solution.


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