So my boyfriend and I met freshman year of college. We were best friends and he helped me through coping with my dad having cancer. I'm an international student from the UK who moved to the US whilst my dad was still in the UK, so it was tough. Then in february we had sex one drunken night and that was it, and we decided to get together and stop putting off the inevitable. We ended up arguing a lot, after I found out that he'd cheated on 2 of his girlfriends in the past, which had damaged my trust for him (god knows how i didnt find this out before i got together with him). Then, 5 months into our relationship, he goes out on a night out to a friends house party where he got drunk. Little did I know that a girl there he'd slept with a good half a dozen times before he'd got together with me. We were arguing that night over text and he had enough and then asked this girl to meet him upstairs. They had sex and he passed out. The meantime, he had abruptly stopped texting me, so I sat up till 4am crying over the fear that he was sleeping with someone else. I tried to tell myself i was being completely irrational but I had a really wierd feeling. The next day he came to my house, notably with a collared shirt on so I couldn't see the massive hickey he had on the side of his neck. He told me that he just passed out on the couch at 12:30 because he was so drunk. We laid down all afternoon and talked a little bit and we were okay again. We went out to dinner, and then we got in the car afterwards and we wanted to google something so he pulled his phone out. The webpage was conveniently titled '6 suprising ways to get rid of a hickey'. I didn't notice the title at first I just asked what it was because I thought it was a little amusing that he was reading through cosmopolitian's website. I saw the title and then he said his friend had a hickey and they were trying to get rid of it. I pull his collar down and there is this huge, disgusting thing on the side of his neck. He told me he passed out and some drunk b**** climbed on top of him and his friends had to drag him off of her. I'm in hysterics right now, and i tell him to tell me the goddamn truth. He says can we go back to your place first so I say whatever. Then we get back and we are parked in the carpark. He says he didnt cheat on me. I tell him to call his friend and see if they had the same story as to how he got the hickey. At this point he tells me he had sex with somebody else because he's been unhappy for a while but doesn't want to leave me. He told me that he didn't actually remember a single thing and only knew that he did because he woke up naked, his friend said he saw the girl leave the room and the hickey on his neck. I freak out but I tell him to walk with me. I live on campus and have nobody else closer than 2 hours away so I needed company (probably shouldn't have been his though). He throws up after he tells me he is unhappy and we are both in tears. We spend the next 2 hours crying in eachothers arms and he stayed the night. The next day I cried all day. A couple weeks after that more truth comes out. He originally told me he slept with this girl once before, then from further questioning he told me he slept with the girl 2 times before, and then 10+ times before (not cheating on me, before we got together). Then he admitted to me that he remembered what happened. Beforehand, he didnt tell me that he asked the girl to come upstairs, he said he thought he went upstairs, puked, and then went in the bed and the girl came in after him. I don't even want to say anymore. We've been trying to work it out and he has changed, he treats me a lot better, no more swearing at me, blocked everyone that had anything to do with the girl he slept with and the girl herself without question, and has done everything I ask of him. Am I kidding myself when I say I still want to be with him though...