My husband and I have been having problems, over a span of 9 years. He has been emotionally and physically abusive, which I've asked him to get help for. He is now, after I told him I cheated on him. I never would have believed I would have cheated, but I felt resentful, careless, and selfish.  It felt good to be paid attention to by another man.  As I was doing it, though, I considered what my options were.  I didn't feel good about the fact that I was being unfaithful, so I had tried to break it off a couple of times. This was before me and my lover had even had physical contact.  I did end up going out on a date with him and ended up back at his place. I'll just say it was fireworks. I have a hard time getting him out of my head because of that. Anyways, my lover told me he'd marry me, if I wasn't attached. He told me he was falling in love with me. He offered to buy me all this stuff and take me on trips.  I started having feelings for him, but I analyzed the situation. Our values and life goals didn't align. The only problem with my husband was his anger. Everything else my husband was golden on.  He takes care of the kids, our house, he cooks, cleans, and goes to detail in getting me whatever it is I want. He's stayed with me through my emotional periods. My lover, on the other hand, shows his caring through money. Not sentimental things. He cheated on his wife years ago and didn't care to make it up. He says he is a "caveman" to the core and, when I confronted him about the things he said (marrying me and falling in love with me) he said he didn't say them. He would find me at work to come talk to me. He told me he was considering working less. He told me he had all the money to buy me whatever I wanted. (He's a doctor). But now, he acts like none of that mattered and could care less if I even existed.  I'm sure it's because of my emotional roller coaster ride. That only reinforcea my logical reason for staying with my husband, which I have chosen to do, but my heart remains with my lover. I'm having such a hard time moving past him and focusing on my marriage. I truly believe my marriage can be saved. We're going to therapy and counseling. It'll just take time, but the hurt in my heart is overwhelming.  I'm confused and a mess. :(  I fell for a man that I have no clue how he honestly feels about me, and I took advantage of a man that could be everything I need in a msrriage, except for the anger part.