Lust is just as strong as love. I'm still in a relationship with the guy I cheated on. Long story short I went to my hometown to visit for a couple weeks and saw an old friend who I had a crush on since middle school the feeling was mutual. We talked on and off for yearsss but nothing ever happened. I decided to hit him up while I was down there and saw each other and everything escalated quickly. He's really respectful he knew I had a boyfriend and wouldn't even hug me. He kept his distance. The sexual tension was there, when we first hung out we went out for a couple drinks with friends and even with a lot of people around i felt like it was just us two. i ached for his touch the whole time. I would touch him playfully and he would keep still. The next day he invited my bestfriend and I to a party so we went.  My Friend didn't feel good so we took her home and I went back to the party with him. The tension between us kept growing and growing.  I had a couple shots and was starting to feel bad so he asked if I wanted to sit somewhere so we went to his friend's room. I was laying and he was on the floor sitting. I told him to come lay with me and he did. I started put my arm around him;holding him. He turns to face me and that's when I kissed him. I was drunk but I was in all my senses. I took advantage of not feeling myself and climbed on top of him. Next thing I knew we were having sex. When we got done I went completely sober. I laid there as if I had just killed someone. I just kept thinking of what had happened, I couldn't believe it. I rolled away from him and felt so bad that tears rolled down.  I got over it and the remaining days we hung out as if we were in a relationship. We fell in love.  Or at least j thought it was love. When it was time for me to come back home we promised we would be together no matter what. I promised I would break up with my boyfriend and all. When I got home my boyfriend picked me up. I felt disgusted by him. I didn't kiss him or touch him the whole night. He never suspected nothing. Weeks passed by and didn't show affection. Then I realized I love him not the guy back home.  I am still with this guy and I love him now more then ever. As for the other guy back home I stopped talking to him because we live in different states it wouldn't work  he understood but calls me every now and then to see if I'm doing good. At times I sit there and think of the guy back home I want him , but I love the guy here. I know people say if you really love someone you wouldn't hurt them but I feel like I do love him. I know it's heartless of me to say but I don't regret it and that worries me. I felt bad at the time but now the feeling of guilt has completely vanished.