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Married man, threesome

I cheated on my boyfriend

Monday, July 27, 2015 1:03 AM by Guest Rating: +43|-17

Several years ago I cheated on my then-boyfriend with a newly married man. I broke it off with that boyfriend and began meeting up with the married man regularly. For the next 5 years I continued having an affair with the married man, nearly right under his wife's nose. We often played grab ass and met for sex whenever we could. I had 2 different boyfriends over the years and I cheated on them both with him. Even the one boyfriend I truly loved couldn't satisfy me the way he could. It went on until we finally got caught by his wife. It was a mess, but we got through it and decided to make a three some out of it. I then continued cheating on my boyfriend with the couple. We all played friends in front of each other but whenever I stayed the night at the couple's house it was on. That boyfriend and I are not together anymore, but he never found out. I don't know why I am the way I am but I want to change. I don't want to be a cheater forever. It's been 3 years since the threesomes started and I'm still the 3rd player...

Expert's Comment

Pamela Chambers

Pamela is a lifeworld coach, trained in mind-body medicine, and a mother of 5 children.

Your behavior will create the emotional response you desire. If you want to change, you need to have your behaviors match the values you want to achieve. If you behave in a way that desires a committed relationship, you will gain self-esteem. The building block to self-esteem is knowing what your values are and having those behaviors match your values. If you value education and don't have your college degree, you may not have good self-esteem.

In the movies, leading men and leading ladies fall in love often. If you behave like you love someone, you most likely will fall in love with them. If you desire a committed relationship, you must first behave like it. You should take your time and get to know him before having a sexual relationship. If you have sex too soon, you will lose your objectivity and ability to discern if he is a good match for you in a committed relationship. Once we start having sex, all the hormones, (dopamine and oxytocin, which is the attachment hormone) get released and you can no long see things clearly. It's like choosing a partner while being addicted to drugs. When there are problems, you overlook it because the sex feels so good. Sex lights up your brain like cocaine. That is why it feels so badly when we break up. We can't eat or sleep. It is because you are going through a drug withdrawal.

You need to court instead of date. Tell him up front that you are looking for a committed relationship and want to take some time to get to know him. Go slowly and no physical intimacy for awhile. Get to know his friends and family. You want to judge if the two of you are a good match for each other before all the hormones kick into your brain. If you want to learn more, please email me. My information is at pamelachambers.com.

Happy Hunting for the committed one. It's well worth the time to get to know each other and to have a significant other. Best wishes to you and good luck!

Warm Regards,

Pamela

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Thursday, August 6, 2015 8:31 AM

Guest

What state is this even in

Monday, August 10, 2015 7:07 PM

Bish please

You will forever be the used third woman in that relationship. I'm not religious but when you meet your perfect "one" who could have possibly saved even his VIRGINITY ( unlike you ) for YOU, how heartbreaking would it be as he enters you, thinking that you to are a virrgin cause you're too guilty to tell him you aren't, that there is a space and nothing to break. Nothing to take. Stop doing what you're doing and wait cause people like you disgust me.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015 11:35 PM

Guest

Sounds like a lot of postulations bish please. And the admiration is likewise.

Saturday, August 15, 2015 12:56 AM

Guest5

You are not cheating with the married man since the wife welcumed you into bed with them. You no longer need a boyfriend, you get to enjoy the benefits of your sexual desires without reprocussions, in fact the wife probably now has orgasms...You are a married enhancer. You also do not have to deal with divorce, alimomy, committments, headaches, your situation is purely sexual. You go home at the end the day and not have to uphold domestic duties such as the married couple must. You are fortunate...enjy the experience until the married couple ends it, and when they do, accept it and be grateful that you got to experience it. Happy banging!

Thursday, August 20, 2015 12:22 AM

Guest

You think that pleasure is more important than people's feelings towards you. The people who should be considered important in your life. Pleasure is all that matters and because you place this before anyone else, you will never succumb to intimancy. You probably think you don't feel alone and that you're an independent woman...well you're not. You will always be alone because you're putting all of your desires and sexual gratification as a place of altar when it should be the people you "supposedly" care about. Get real with yourself and start to understand how you would feel if you had to walk in on somebody, who you truly loved, having an affair with somebody else. The hurtful ways that someone manipulates you and tries to get you to believe that they're not seeing another person. The lies that revolve around you being ignorant and insulting your intelligence by belittling you.

Yes, she accepted the fact that he was banging you and was able to contribute sexually. So what? He lied to his wife, you knew of the marriage and yet selfishly thought more about your relationship with him when he was already in a relationship. Good luck always knowing that you're going to be the third woman unless you change yourself.

Thursday, August 20, 2015 1:49 AM

Guest

I don't usually have these problems, since I choose my partners with my head rather than my dick, but I find it funny how you actually struggle to 'change'. God, I mean, pull yourself together and just stop. As humans, we've actually beaten evolution at it's own game, but hilariously, you still seem rather primitive. I don't usually comment on this stuff, but seriously haha, I feel sorry for both you, and whatever poor sod you're stringing on at the moment.

Thursday, September 3, 2015 8:13 PM

Guest

Keep up the relationship if you enjoy the threesome. Obviously his wife enjoys the threesome, so you might as well enjoy it too. I am a male and my first wife was unfaithful to me but I would have been more than happy to have had a threesome with her lover.

Monday, September 28, 2015 10:20 PM

Polyman

If you ever have another boyfriend, perhaps introduce him to the concept of POLYAMORY - bring up the subject with your couple, and maybe they'll be open to exploring this truly erotic venue!

Monday, October 5, 2015 3:11 AM

Guest

well you are a cowardly whore and you are being treated like one? go figure.

take solace in the fact that, you are nothing more to this coouple then a cum bucket. an outlet for them to vent their sexual frustrations on .

Friday, April 1, 2016 2:44 AM

Guest

Someone is gonna hurt bad. Third wheel never works out even in polygamist families.

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