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My wife almost cheated

My wife cheated on me

Wednesday, April 26, 2017 12:53 AM by Guest Rating: +113|-46

A few weeks ago I found text messages between my wife and some guy she went to high school with who she recently bumped into on a visit to her home town. Things had been pretty rocky for us over the last few months and there were things she wasn't getting from me emotionally as I tend to retreat inside myself and not open up when she needs me or when I need to talk to someone. We've been to marriage counseling and we've argued, talked, cried together and everything else. I believe I have had a hand in causing my wife to stray after months of begging me to open myself up to her in a way that she needs as well as being there for her when she needs me which I know for certain I haven't always been...After a few more talks and fights things actually started to get better. I started opening up and being there for her more and just all around a better husband and trust me, I had been quite shitty tho I NEVER even thought about cheating on her or ever lost love for her. I then planned a surprise birthday party for her and a bunch of her friends. She had no idea and was extremely happy I did it and told me it was the best birthday she's ever had and things like that are exactly what she's needed from me. Well, she got plastered that night and I drove us home. On the way she fell asleep texting someone and for whatever reason her phone never auto locked after the time period of inactivity the entire way home and it was at least a 20 min drive. I didnt even know her lock code at the time...I got curious and looked and found texts back and forth with the scumbag talking about wanting to "give her orgasms" and how she "can't wait to see him". Having been in a relationship with a heavy alcoholic before, I knew better than to try to wake her drunk ass up to pick a fight...I carried her upstairs and put her to bed where somehow I laid next to her all night staring at the ceiling and wall sick to my stomach. My stomach still turns as I write this...I had to work the next day so I went and left my phone in the car knowing I would receive texts like "I hope you have a great day!" And "I love you." I honestly didn't know how I would respond so I left it in the car...well when I left, I had about 15 calls from her and her best friend and texts from both saying the wife was worried about me and wife was going to get her hair done and she could bring me lunch and blah blah blah. I called her on my way home and told her to cancel her hair appointment and she better be home when I get there so we can talk. She asked if I was ok to which I replied "no, I am not. Be home when I get there. Bye." And I hung up without hearing her reply. I get home and immediately tell her to sit down and not to fucking touch me, and how could you, the whole 9...she didn't even try to rip into me for snooping just immediately started apologizing saying she is stupid and never should have said those things and she never would've gone through with it. After a couple hours of talking and crying and trying to figure it all out, things actually made a huge leap and became 1 million times better. I still have trouble trusting her, I don't entirely believe her when she says nothing happened between them, and although I think I know why it happened, I still don't fully understand...I am unsure how to move past the feelings of inadequacy, of distrust, of pain and remembrance of those messages...I am not a fighter but I still feel the rage necessary to render one unrecognizable to ones mother after the assbeating of a lifetime...I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling my wife can't be trusted and that she hasn't been entirely truthful with me. I hate feeling that she did or almost gave herself to someone else in the way only her and I should to one another. I hate feeling inadequate, even tho she assures me I am everything to her.  I hate feeling like I want to destroy another human with my bare hands...there are good days and bad. Days when I believe her beyond a doubt and I know she loves me. Then there are days when my stomach churns and I am sick questioning the unknown while trying to convince myself she told me everything and it's all been explained. I just want things to be better and easier. I don't want to always harbor this anger and this disgust and the feelings of sickness and devastation. I'm a normal guy and wanted to have sex with her all the time, so she didn't have to search for that elsewhere...she claimed she needed someone to be there for her emotionally which I admittedly was not, but why the sexual side with someone else? I don't want this to end our marriage, I love her more than I could ever express, but I don't know how to deal with this. I want help and/or advice. We are young, 29m and 26f, maybe that has to do with it. We've been together for 5 years married for 3. I want to say I've forgiven her, I just hope that time can help me to forget...although I'm sure I never will completely.

Thank you for voting.


Monday, May 1, 2017 4:48 PM

Hi - I feel horrible for you. Emotional affairs are the rough for husbands ( or maybe passed emotional as you are thinking ). I wish I could say one day you will forgive her , but from your words I believe you know the answer. Trust is gone and you both may need to move on to have peace....You are both young and will find love again.....Sorry ....

Tuesday, May 16, 2017 5:23 AM

It's best that you leave, you're still young for a man. I don't think you should down play yourself into a 'normal' man, I think because due to this, you don't strive further in life than the one you think you're contempt with, and this comes with all of these insecurities, undoubtly justified as well. But you're young, she's getting into that age that she needs to find a husband and breed with before her fist wrinkle shows in age 30 and her chances of getting it with someone as young as yourself is very slim. Men on the other hand have it good till they start balding or in their 40's. I'd say leave and let it be gone, it's not going to heal and why waste the time and energy feeling the way you're feeling right now (inadequacy, distrust, etc) for the next coming years with someone? Did you know stress will shorten a human's life? I'm sure she's not stressing as much as you are right now, she ate her cake but got caught, what does this tell you? She didn't even WANT to let you know until YOU found out bout it, and the feeling of distrust is justified in this sense. She still have a child mind like mentality at age 26 in this day and age. She didn't respect the boarders/barriers of your relationship with her. I'm not on here tell everyone to just let it go and divorce, it entirely depends, but in this case, there is nothing else but to divorce and move on, considering the factors of both of you guy's age, she not willing to tell you until she got caught, child like mentality, it's all there for the recipe of 2 young love birds, let's face it, she's not ready.

Saturday, May 20, 2017 1:47 AM

Don't blame yourself; you didn't "cause" her to cheat. You may not have been perfect, but she could have taken the energy she gave to someone else and given it to work things out with you. She was cheating/almost cheating when things we getting better and you had done something great for her. She needs to be going out of her way to help you trust her again, and if she's not willing to do that, then there's a reason. I'm hesitant to give advice, but if you want it, give her an ultimatum of full transparency of her life as the only way you can move forward, or you're moving out. If she says no, follow through (the worst thing you could do is make the ultimatum and not follow through) and move out, try things on your own for a while. She may need that stark choice, and it may take you moving out to bring her to the point of fully commiting. And if she lets you move out, then you know how shallow her claims of love are. If you divorce, you're at 1.5 years of spousal support for a cheating woman; don't let it turn into more.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017 7:33 AM

fuck of man you know you have been cuckolded just dont want to face the reality ... i think you like  it..

Monday, November 20, 2017 11:45 PM




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